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Luis R said:

Hi Karen, i just read this article. It helped out discovering why females dont like to communicate with me after i work up the courage to approach them.. Im just about to be 20 years old and I have not had a single real girlfriend, other than a little 3 day thing with a girl 2 years ago. I have been on one date. I work and Im in community college as well, but i haven’t had the luck to meet a girl which ive gotten in any relationship with. It’s sad, I have not even met one single girl as a friend in 5 semesters of college classes. I recently started raving and that seems like the spot to meet the girls for me. but my question is: What is the numbers game??

Karen said:

Hi Luis,

I don’t know you personally so I can’t say for sure…but it sounds like you need to get out there and experience life more.

“The numbers game” is simply a matter of you approaching as many girls in real life (or on an online dating site) as you can. The more girls you approach, the better your chances of actually meeting the right girl for you.

Also, a word of caution about raves: Tread with care because the “rave scene” is full of people that are into drugs and that’s a path you should not go down. If you start associating yourself with ravers, chances are they will eventually get you started on taking drugs. That will ruin your chances of meeting a girl because it will cloud your head and cloud your judgement.

Instead, try joining an online dating site, or starting a new hobby……..do you play sports? A co-ed softball league is a great way to meet women.

Good luck!

Chris said:

I was reading your article and I noticed a faint sense of hostilty towards regular guys.
Instead of actually helping them a bit, you have simply joined the other shallow women out there in stepping on them further more. Not just that but you are also showing younger girls how to act like you in treating guys like garbage unless he’s good looking, a moron if he doesn’t know exactly what to say that you might approve, or a compete waste of you time if he hasn’t dated enough girls to have any “game”.
I think this article is bad and only serves to downplay guys, and turn girls into undesirable and shallow people.

Jason said:

I also don’t like your bias opinion on ravers. The truth is that just as many drugs are being used at a raves than at your hip-hop, or metal concerts. I’ve been raving for 8 years, and I’ve never used drugs for recreational purposes a day in my life. Yes, there’s a huge staple on drugs in the rave comunnity, but it’s on that is exaggerated as well. It’s normal for people in other ‘scenes’ to smoke weed but not for ravers to go to raves? Ravers are know for dancing and music, druggies is just another part of the scene. One that come along with the territory. Just because you don’t now what the scene is like, doesn’t mean you can scare others into running away from it.

Thomas said:

I completely agree with what Chris said. Women don’t realize how much harder it is being on this side of things. There’s a huge psychological difference between dealing with people you aren’t interested in, and being the the one has to put yourself out there. Telling guys to just “play the numbers game” and constantly put themselves out there, prepared to get turned down over and over, doesn’t help. Telling guys not to take it personally, even if she considers you a “creepy looking pervert,” doesn’t help.

I think it’s very telling that the best thing Karen could come up with for a line to approach the woman in the store is, “Man these cashiers sure are slow today.” That’s the kind of line that I’m sure other women and even Karen herself would probably mock as being an incredibly lame conversation-starter. Women get the easy end of the dating spectrum. Guys are responsible for initiating everything, and women get to sit back and screen offers until they decide they’ve found the right one. They think it’s awkward and uncomfortable having to turn down offers from people they don’t like; imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it is while you “play the numbers game” and get turned down over and over.

Society has been taking a huge turn in the last decade or so that basically criminalizes regular guys as being “creepy looking pervert guys.” Just because I’m looking at a women doesn’t mean I’m checking her out, doesn’t mean I’m a pervert, doesn’t mean I’m creepy. Telling women that it’s okay to make that kind of snap judgment is wrong. It’s unfair. It’s a troubling double-standard. Don’t you dare tease guys by saying “you finally found the balls to approach a female out in public” after telling me that just by LOOKING at a girl, I might be considered “creepy” and a “pervert.”

Women don’t get what it’s like approaching someone in public because they don’t have to, so most don’t. Why not tell girls to start finding the balls to approach guys they like instead?

dave said:

I agree with Chris. This article encourages poor behavior in women. Not all women desire based purely on looks, intelligence, and other such things. However, this article does demonstrate that some women (including the author) have poor taste and objectify men. I wonder if the author would have been offended if someone wrote an article informing less attractive women (in reality attraction is relative) to hit the gym?

Terri Simmons said:

This article is written from such a demeaning perspective. It’s not that the information is wrong, it’s that the author takes every opportunity to berate and belittle males in general. The article never similarly berates women, so it’s not just an attempt at humor. The author seems to be dripping with so much animosity she can’t make a reference to males without disparaging them.

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