Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You
About a year ago I wrote an article about how/why women sometimes don’t call guys back after the first date. I would like to take that one step further and examine the reasons why women don’t call, period. Not calling after the first date is bad enough….but at least you have some indication as to why she didn’t call you back. You spent a few hours with her while out on your date and can go back to my original post and intelligently figure out why she didn’t call. Bad breath? Treated your waiter rudely? No chemistry? There could be any number of reasons, since after all she has been silently making mental notes about you from the minute you guys first met for your date.
What about those times when you get a girls number and call her and she never calls back? This type of situation has more to do with the short period of time you spent talking to her and getting her number. In other words, your game. These types of situations are much harder to figure out why she wasn’t interested (or gave you the same phone number that the last 3 girls gave you: 555-1212) because of the short period of time that you spent talking to her. I am going off the assumption that you are spending anywhere from 5 minutes to less than an hour in your conversation with this new girl.
The aim for this article is to take a look at the first impressions a female gets from a guy she just met and examine the reasons as to why she declined to continue communication further. There are thousands of situations in real life that you could encounter a female. For this article, I’m going to pretend you are in line at a local store….be it the video store, CVS, bank, wherever. You are standing in a semi long line and there is a cute female right in front of you. So cute, that you feel the need to talk to her in an attempt to get her number. A good portion of the men out there don’t have the balls to at least try to talk to a female in that situation, so consider yourself 2 steps ahead of the game if you have made the decision to give it a shot and talk to her:
1. Lack of physical attraction
This one is a no-brainer. Simply put, you really had nothing to say to her that caught (and held) her interest and your physical looks aren’t attractive enough to her in order for her to overlook the fact that you are yet another horny guy looking to score some tail. Best advice: Join a gym, brush your teeth, buy better clothes….do something that compliments your looks.
2. Cute as a puppy, dumb as a rock
On the other side of the token, we have guys that could probably put someone like Brad Pitt to shame in the looks department…..but they tend to lack the cranial capacity to carry on an intelligent conversation. Guys like this generally don’t have a hard time picking up women. Sooner or later they will encounter a girl that is superficial enough to overlook the fact that he considers “Hop on Pop” a literary classic.
3. Creepy looking pervert guy
When women are out in public, they tend to have their defenses turned on. Especially if they are attractive. They are so used to guys staring at them that they tend to ignore it with a thinly veiled sense of hostility. If you find yourself staring at a female while in line, and she notices you….and doesn’t smile….there’s a good chance that she has already judged you as some creepy guy. Best thing to do is not make eye contact (don’t even think of giving her body the once-over with your eyes) and treat her like you would treat any other female that you weren’t attracted to. That way when you do open your mouth to speak, you have a clean slate.
4. Desperate Dan
Guys that are desperate REEK of desperation whether they know it or not. Subconsciously they are so desperate that their actions mirror their thoughts without them realizing it at all. Women are highly sensitive creatures and can smell desperation a mile away. Believe me when I tell you, it is a total turnoff. If on the day you are in line about to talk to a girl….ask yourself “am I feeling desperate today?” If so, save yourself some heartbreak and look the other way.
5. Can’t close the deal
So you finally found the balls to approach a female out in public. You got her attention and the first words that come out of your mouth are: “Sooo, I see you like the Tampax brand of tampons.” (The song “Shot Down in Flames” by AC/DC is going through my head right now…)
You need to step up your game in these types of situations. “What in the hell can I say to break the ice with a cute girl who is in line in front of me at the local drugstore buying tampons?” Good question. I can’t give you a right or wrong answer. This all depends on who you are as a person. Let your personality do the talking and if it clicks, you got yourself a phone number. If I were a guy in the same exact situation, I would think twice about talking to girl in line at a drugstore buying tampons. She might be a bit embarrassed in the first place (because you are talking to her while she is holding a box of tampons). If you absolutely have to talk to her, try your best to ignore what she is holding in her hands and instead make a comment like:
“Man these cashiers are sure slow today” or something that effect. Observational humor is probably your only recourse in a situation like this.
There are many more reasons why she didn’t give you her number. Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she isn’t into men…..maybe she just had a bad day and doesn’t want to deal with guys talking to her. My only advice to you guys is to play the numbers game and sooner or later you will meet the right female. Just don’t take it too personally when she gives you a dirty look and starts looking around for store security.
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December 16th, 2010 at 1:42 am
Hi Karen, i just read this article. It helped out discovering why females dont like to communicate with me after i work up the courage to approach them.. Im just about to be 20 years old and I have not had a single real girlfriend, other than a little 3 day thing with a girl 2 years ago. I have been on one date. I work and Im in community college as well, but i haven’t had the luck to meet a girl which ive gotten in any relationship with. It’s sad, I have not even met one single girl as a friend in 5 semesters of college classes. I recently started raving and that seems like the spot to meet the girls for me. but my question is: What is the numbers game??
December 16th, 2010 at 7:14 am
Hi Luis,
I don’t know you personally so I can’t say for sure…but it sounds like you need to get out there and experience life more.
“The numbers game” is simply a matter of you approaching as many girls in real life (or on an online dating site) as you can. The more girls you approach, the better your chances of actually meeting the right girl for you.
Also, a word of caution about raves: Tread with care because the “rave scene” is full of people that are into drugs and that’s a path you should not go down. If you start associating yourself with ravers, chances are they will eventually get you started on taking drugs. That will ruin your chances of meeting a girl because it will cloud your head and cloud your judgement.
Instead, try joining an online dating site, or starting a new hobby……..do you play sports? A co-ed softball league is a great way to meet women.
Good luck!
March 19th, 2011 at 12:24 am
I was reading your article and I noticed a faint sense of hostilty towards regular guys.
Instead of actually helping them a bit, you have simply joined the other shallow women out there in stepping on them further more. Not just that but you are also showing younger girls how to act like you in treating guys like garbage unless he’s good looking, a moron if he doesn’t know exactly what to say that you might approve, or a compete waste of you time if he hasn’t dated enough girls to have any “game”.
I think this article is bad and only serves to downplay guys, and turn girls into undesirable and shallow people.
March 27th, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I also don’t like your bias opinion on ravers. The truth is that just as many drugs are being used at a raves than at your hip-hop, or metal concerts. I’ve been raving for 8 years, and I’ve never used drugs for recreational purposes a day in my life. Yes, there’s a huge staple on drugs in the rave comunnity, but it’s on that is exaggerated as well. It’s normal for people in other ‘scenes’ to smoke weed but not for ravers to go to raves? Ravers are know for dancing and music, druggies is just another part of the scene. One that come along with the territory. Just because you don’t now what the scene is like, doesn’t mean you can scare others into running away from it.
June 11th, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I completely agree with what Chris said. Women don’t realize how much harder it is being on this side of things. There’s a huge psychological difference between dealing with people you aren’t interested in, and being the the one has to put yourself out there. Telling guys to just “play the numbers game” and constantly put themselves out there, prepared to get turned down over and over, doesn’t help. Telling guys not to take it personally, even if she considers you a “creepy looking pervert,” doesn’t help.
I think it’s very telling that the best thing Karen could come up with for a line to approach the woman in the store is, “Man these cashiers sure are slow today.” That’s the kind of line that I’m sure other women and even Karen herself would probably mock as being an incredibly lame conversation-starter. Women get the easy end of the dating spectrum. Guys are responsible for initiating everything, and women get to sit back and screen offers until they decide they’ve found the right one. They think it’s awkward and uncomfortable having to turn down offers from people they don’t like; imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it is while you “play the numbers game” and get turned down over and over.
Society has been taking a huge turn in the last decade or so that basically criminalizes regular guys as being “creepy looking pervert guys.” Just because I’m looking at a women doesn’t mean I’m checking her out, doesn’t mean I’m a pervert, doesn’t mean I’m creepy. Telling women that it’s okay to make that kind of snap judgment is wrong. It’s unfair. It’s a troubling double-standard. Don’t you dare tease guys by saying “you finally found the balls to approach a female out in public” after telling me that just by LOOKING at a girl, I might be considered “creepy” and a “pervert.”
Women don’t get what it’s like approaching someone in public because they don’t have to, so most don’t. Why not tell girls to start finding the balls to approach guys they like instead?
July 5th, 2011 at 7:29 am
I agree with Chris. This article encourages poor behavior in women. Not all women desire based purely on looks, intelligence, and other such things. However, this article does demonstrate that some women (including the author) have poor taste and objectify men. I wonder if the author would have been offended if someone wrote an article informing less attractive women (in reality attraction is relative) to hit the gym?