Comments on: Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date

By: Kennedybaj

Kennedybaj — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 22:03:59 +0000

I can’t believe the comments on here. The comments on this thread makes women sound very selfish and one dimensional.

When men talk about love, it isn’t this one directional road that drives us to one person like some stupid kiddie romance novel. NO, when men talk about love it is a two-directional road that gives and takes. It is the power of two. It is two people expressing equal interest for each other.

So, if he said you were wonderful and didn’t call you back. He didn’t LEAD you on, YOU didn’t clearly show your equal interest and therefor are not worth wasting the time to call back.

By: Burned

Burned — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:21:57 +0000

Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes the girl just wants sex but no relationship…hey, I’m sorry people, but giving so much of yourself without the other person wanting a relationship is far too great an investment.

By: Nadia

Nadia — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 15:32:25 +0000

I have one thing to say then why do guys always say oh i’m having an amazing time with you, say i’m so beautiful and funny, say they will call and want to see me again and even kiss me passionately goodnight and then not call? sorry but if that is not playing silly mind games then I don’t know what is sorry but that’s pathetic I would rather a man be upfront say i’m not what they are looking for…I do to them.

I at least have the courtesy to say so …albeit if I met them online or otherwise it called good manners not stringing your date along! I dress well, i’ve my own home, i’m doing a degree i’m always told i’m stunning, funny, talented…. sorry I can’t be that revolting to go out with but I know i’m far from perfect but guys seriously man up! or men are just too picky and like serial dating to boost their ego!

By: Lydia

Lydia — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 19:37:11 +0000

Hmm. Usually it’s the guy dumping me… and I’m the one asking the men out. I’m a former model, and I have a doctorate degree, I should get hit on all the time, but I don’t. It’s weird, I’m always the one chasing men, and they have no interest. Oh well?

By: Jez

Jez — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 02:37:18 +0000

To Nikki: I’ve noticed the more a girl does with a guy on the first date/first night together, the more likely the girl will be more attached than the guy. It’s like guys will be less inclined to date someone they’ve already been physically intimate with, while a woman will more likely be more interested in a man after she’s slept with him. There’s no winning

By: chris

chris — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 00:38:09 +0000

Listen ladies… If I guy is not really that into you but realizes he should at least finish the date, he WILL SAY ANYTHING he needs to to make you think your special and blah blah blah to get you in the sac. My own brother even told me so. Guys will do and say anything to get a piece of ass. Don’t kid yourself.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Wed, 04 May 2011 20:59:29 +0000

I’m a considerate, attractive, confident woman with goals and I want what I want. So when I see a man that I am attracted to I will approach him- if for any reason he doesn’t like me thats fine and dandy.
Now I met a man the other night and we had amazing chemistry, went home with him slept with him (or as best we could- lil too excited if ya know what I mean), but I could care less I liked him a lot and I never make things akward. The next morning he asks’ for MY number and I take his.
Haven’t heard from him in 3 days. I texted him after 2 days. Now I dont play games- because you either like me and will call me back or you don’t like me and you won’t call back, but at least text me back saying your just not into me or that your “Busy”. I asked him out and risked my neck and he doesn’t call ME back. Plus he held my hand and I never do that until I really know someone intimately, not that I didn’t like it, its just mixed signals. Classic male. Sorry guys your just as confusing as we are!!!!

By: KatieR

KatieR — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 23:20:17 +0000

The plain and simple truth is that Men really are from Mars, and women really are from Venus. No matter what, we will always perceive things differently when it comes to the issue of why we lack understanding in each others shoes. A big factor of the way men react to a woman, is based upon the way he was raised. As where women, (not girls) react based upon their own intuition and personal knowledge or experience. Especially in today’s day and age, where women are becoming uncontrollably independent. Women are fighting more now, for what they believe, resulting with the confidence to fully expand their educations, completely support themselves with their own incomes, and even raise children totally alone. So while all this is happening, the men are probably wondering, “if she doesn’t need me, why should I be in a hurry to grow up?”
Thus bringing us back to men, and the way that they think..
as for Mikes post, # 5, if women should be expected to act like a lady at all times, I think it fair only to say thus that a men should be inquired of the same, and have the balls to speak their minds, thus leading me to # 7, In my opinion, no “after-date” call should have to even be made. Your on the date, you see the person, you communicate with them, if you don’t like what you see, say it! I would rather a guy tell me his honest opinion right on the spot, than waste any more of my time. As I would do the exact same. It’s one of those situations that people say make them uncomfortable, or feel guilty over afterwards, but in the end, it’s the best, and most honest thing to do. Like I said, anything other, would be a waste of both of your time. And I agree with Seeker of truth on # 3, that men are a bit more expecting in the looks department. A date is called a date for a reason, it’s a specially marked occasion. So in theory, it’s tradition to dress nicer than usual. Men usually tend to have trouble grasping that concept. Which is understandable, until they deliver us women with their (what i like to call, “snap-shot judgements.” A real man doesn’t want a girl to show up on a date in a church dress, or knitted vest her grandmother made her. He wants her to look nice. this is how he will determine whether or not she is a good asset for him. but at the same time, if a younger, or more attractive woman happens to sweep by, one quick little glance at her ass or boobs never hurt anyone right? Wrong! Basically, men are idiots. It’s plain and simple. women are naive and conceited.

By: Kimberly Dick

Kimberly Dick — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:10:47 +0000

Mike, this isnt a comment, but rather a question I’m really needing some kind of an answer to. This guy I knew back in school found me on facebook and we started talking. We talked for three weeks inboxing eachother , he works three weeks out on an oil rig then hes home for three weeks. He asked me to go to dinner with him and I did like a week later. Before our date when he got home he couldnt wait to see me he had seen my profile pic and said I hadnt changed. I do still look the same as I did in high school, everyone tells me this. We talked every single day till our date, he flirted, said he his dream would be a fantisy of our date. Now I am seperated and getting divorced, but that had nothing to do with him and he knew this from the beginning and it wasnt a problem. Our date was amazing, it was all I hoped it would be, there was no question that he liked me and there would be other dates. He did tell me I was hard to read and then said he knows Im interested,but… so I leaned and gave him a kiss and smiled at him and he smiled back with a very pleased look. This was not the first kiss of the night he kissed me first. We were really into eachother and he asked quickly are you ready to go? We went out in the parking lot where our cars were and he walked me to mine and stood by for 10 minutes saying good bye and kissing. He said he wanted to ask me back to his place but he would have to take a rain check on that( I didnt understand that comment), but I told him that I wouldnt anyway. He wanted to know why and I said I had to give him something to look forward to. If I hadnt text him the next day to tell him I was thinking of him, and he text me back and said what am I thinking about? I told him I was thinking I wanted to see him again, but he didnt reply to that. I had also left my cell phone in his truck and he brought it to me the next night, he said he was at his sisters house and would meet, but he barley stopped his truck and he was outta there. I dont hardly ever hear from him anymore unless I text him. I sent him one text and reminded him of the comment he made about me being hard to read, and telling him he was extremely hard to read hoping that would get him to give me some sort of explanation to his wierd behavior since our date, but all he said was. “I know, I keep it that way”. I told him that wasnt fair and he just said, Oh yeah… Im stumped please help me with some kind of advice or reason why he would do this. I mean is he playing hard to get or is he just not interested? From the way our date went I just cant believe that hes not interested. By the way he is acting now if I hadnt contacted him the next day or left my cell phone in his truck I probably wouldnt have seen or talked to him since. he rarely ever texts me anymore and when he does its just to ask if I had a good day or something like that. He never says anything about our date or even hints anymore that he wants to see me. Please help me because Im new to this dating again and Im not liking it. Sorry for the long letter,but I wanted you to know all the details. Did he really like me and hes scared that Im going to go back to my ex, because I assured him that wasnt going to happen and he didnt act like he was worried about it. HELP ME PLEASE

By: Tristonsmith

Tristonsmith — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:51:00 +0000

Look at all these mad women, you hit a nerve with this. Men with standards? How dare we.

By: Scott

Scott — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 03:22:04 +0000

I’m taking this in a little different direction by asking would it be too much trouble to at least send an email after a first date that left you with a gut feeling that there’s no future? I try to be unbiased and fair but have to admit, I agree with several reasons the author brings up – especially in this world of online dating and cell phones (texting during a date that I’m paying for? RUDE!). But I’m sure a post from the women’s side could have “top 20 reasons” against us guys. In the end, if you’re a guy of integrity…at least send the girl an email thanking her for her time and politely letting her know it wasn’t a match. I suppose if we were all more courteous both sides would be less jaded and more patient went it comes to dating.

By: Fatima

Fatima — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 16:24:24 +0000

I have a guy who i want to married but the problem is from his parent and sister, and anytime i call him he will not pick my calls, and letter in the day he will call back and said he is not around to pick, why are my like that, all what they want is sex. And again they lie when they saw their sugar mummy why i say so is when i went out with him he ask me to tell the woman that am his sister not his wife why are they like. Please i want to know trully if he love me or he want to cheat on me

By: Bill

Bill — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 17:03:23 +0000

I know this might be a little late considering the date this was posted, but after reading Mike’s 10 reasons and the replies women gave I just felt inclined to reply back.

You have to first realize that Mike (as a men) was not mixing a lot of emotions when listing the 10 reasons; The women were. Obviously if you are reading this, than it means you got hurt/stood up by a men some time or another; but remember, GENERALIZING is bad! Not all men are bad and not all women are trash; Sure I have friends who are complete jerks and lie their ass of on a date just to have sex, but I also have friends who are “sweet hearts” and truly respect women. I am in my college years, and the biggest problem I see with girls is their choice in men. Every single men can make himself buff and good looking (to a degree) if he wanted to; If you as a woman fall for the toned muscles and charms of a Frat boy,you deserve to get stood up on a second date. You are as shallow as the frat guy is. As I approach my last year, most of my friends who are women in sororities tell me that they wish that someone told them to avoid all Frat guys.

Its the same thing out in the real world. Your high expectations are mostly superficial and non-achievable (Beautiful looking, toned, rich, nice car, big house…) so the first guy who has a nice car, and good looks, you accept to go on a date.

My girlfriend that I have now I expect to be together for a long time and possibly even thing of marriage if it lasts a long time. But the thing is that when me and her started dating, we held no expectations of each other; we found a common interest (long lost friendship) and started developing from there. I didn’t go on a date with her because she was hot, rich, nice car (actually she doesn’t even drive), or anything like that, but because she showed genuine interest in me and I did the same.

The whole “play hard to get and she/he’ll call you back” is a high school thing that doesn’t work so well afterwards. You have to remember that people start valuing themselves more when they don’t have to fake attributes to make friends. i.e. when you are 25 and have to pay your own bills.

So following that logic, if a girl doesn’t show interest in me during our date (plays hard to get), (flirts with other guys IN THE FIRST DATE), I already decide to leave it up to her to call me. This is because she has shown me that she is more interested in making me her lap dog than actually developing a friendship/relationship.

Again, we as men realize that in reality that is not what you women desire (to push us away), but it is what happens. It may be how you grew up with your friends. I do realize that when girls are young, men are all over them; and they tend to develop a ego that their “tool” is a gold mine; so they develop an attitude towards first impressions with men.

In all honesty, if I was 18, that would have worked on me. I would have called you back. But again, I value my self more now. In a way, men reverse the ‘game’ as we get older. We tend to put more value to personality and “fun” than the idea that your “tool” is the only one in 1000 miles.

I did my best not to be sexist ladies Actually, I grew up outside of the US, where teenage boys and girls both act similarly (Dress nice, go out clubbing, play hard to get) thats why I say that friends do influence your attitudes towards the opposite sex.

I tried my best no to be sexist ladies I think I did a good job.

My advice: We know women are not a mythological beast with seven heads; So keep that in mind if we don’t call back. Give us a call, talk with us on the phone for a while (show us that you too are interested).

And last, something that Mike pointed out that is very important, is that men can be shy. Actually, all men are shy to some degree. When you don’t call back, wanting to or not, we end up thinking if we failed to impress and stuff like that.

So please, if we don’t call, call back. (we love it when you show us you like us)

By: Shannon

Shannon — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:32:02 +0000

You sound like a real douchebag. I mean, seriously….what normal, manly guy is going to be blogging about “dating”!? No wonder you’re single. You won’t call a woman if she doesn’t give “signals”….what a wimp!!!! Get over yourself.

By: Kid

Kid — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:59:24 +0000

Well I think that when a guy dosnt call you back it means that he dosnt like you not cause he lost his phone but I think that they should call even if they don’t like you they should at least tell you that it won’t work out so then you arnt wasting your time on stupid websites like this and I would not mind if you just came out and told be that you don’t like me at least you would know!!!!

By: lilly

lilly — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 22:10:50 +0000

true, best to forget. the problem is that he was given second chance and has wasted it soooo badly…it all just does not add up ….and if it does not add up then he obviously has a problem!

Thank you for your help Karen. I feel a bit better already.

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 21:28:43 +0000

Sometimes guys are just lying dogs. Maybe he just wasn’t feeling it for whatever reason but didn’t know how to let you down. Maybe he met another girl in the meantime and found more in common….maybe he’s just super busy?

In any case, it’s best to forget about him and move on. You will find the right person that you are looking for.

By: lilly

lilly — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 21:15:46 +0000

i went for a date last sunday. he came from town x to my town and stayed overnight. we had – his words – fantastic time,said we should do it again and asked ME to call him which I did but after 2 days. I have not heard from him at all and it has been a few days since then. I would understand rejection if it was not for a few facts – unless I am a complete idiot and cannot read people’s behaviour and signs, we laughed a lot, had seriously interesting conversation, not a moment of silence, it was like a flow of sentences that never got “stuck”. basically, for me it was a perfect date. Now, why did not he call? I do not know especially because he in that case sent incredibly mixed signals, if hewas not into me the date would not last 7 hours and I would not hear his excited – we must do it again….weird or just normal?

By: Rebekkah

Rebekkah — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 15:55:59 +0000

LADIES — No one likes rejection and it stings a bit, especially if you like him. However, I think if he hasn’t called you back… you should be thankful. God has a plan for you and knows what’s best for you. There are scriptuesall over the Bible showing that God created us not to be alone, but for companionship. Put Him in the driver’s seat and let Him prove toyou that He loves you and has great things store. He’s a God that is personal and on-point.

If you want… pray this little prayer. I dare you!!

“Lord Jesus, I need you in my life. Please take the lead and bring me to the place where I belong. Open my eyes and show me what I need to do. You promised me that no matter how far away I am, if I turn to you, you will welcome me with open arms. I look to you right now. I repent of all my sins. Make something beautiful with my life. Thank you for loving me and giving you all. In Jesus’ name, Amen!”

By: Bella

Bella — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 02:06:10 +0000

Mike D, you get a HD.

By: Just me

Just me — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 23:34:26 +0000

For all those picky women out there, read Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
By Lori Gottlieb
Horrible title…but excellent book about why so many great women in their 30′s and 40′s can never find a man that is “good enough” because we are unrealistically looking for perfect men. Who among us women are perfect? We need to stop just looking at the superficial and date men that would make good husbands and fathers instead of men who are players looking just for some action.

By: blank

blank — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 21:39:05 +0000

hey i got a question i went on a date with a guy about a week ago everything was good he said he had a great time and he kept asking me if i like him and he deff wants to hangout again!..and text me to make sure i got home safe..so now 6days went by and i heard nothing from him any ideas?

By: Elise Renee Gingerich

Elise Renee Gingerich — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 03:36:17 +0000

I am a 38 year old single white female living in the state of Kansas in a sweet little college town called Lawrence Kansas which really Is a sweet little college town by the way so Anyways way back in Early 2007 I called into this Kansas City telephone date line and I was just listening to All of the Dumb messages because That’s what telephone datelines are They are stupid places where stupid idiots like me go to and I do often times Feel like I am a Stupid idiot yes I do so Anyways I’m sitting there listening to All of the Other stupid idiots messages and then suddenly and then Suddenly in a nutshell this one man whom I will call Anthony whatever His name was came online into My message box and He started rambling on and on about nothing really and Damnit in hind sight in Hind Sight I should have just Hung Up the Damned telephone right then and there there and then but Anyways in a nutshell I let Him come over to My place on the then Southwest side of Lawrence Kansas because He said No to Me comming over to His place and vice versus of All said so then I Slept with Him and well You All know the rest and for the Last few years I’ve decided to Stupidly let Myself go Crazy over this Loser and the thing is I have No idea Who He really was or is is or was go figure If He was or is is or was anybody or anyone anyone or anybody at All Other people have said to Me you should just freaking Stop torturing Yourself girl Oh why do I do This to Myself thing is if I had met Him in another setting Would I have even Bothered saying hello to Him I doubt It I really Doubt It gawd I’m so Stupid yes I am yes I am I’m so Stupid with Men and Dating Dating and Men grrrr everyone and everybody everybody and everyone Don’t Date Him if He comes around your ways If He comes around Your ways Don’t Date Him He is nothing more than a Trouble maker He is nothing more than a trouble maker He is He is He said He is about 5 foot 9 at about 160 pounds with black and or auburn brown hair and or brown and or hazel eyes and That’s All I really can recall about Him so just Watch Out for Him just watch out for him people Okay okay
and Thank You elise renee gingerich Over and Out

By: Bombchell

Bombchell — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:24:29 +0000

hmmm guess I’m the only one fascinated with what ever happened between Beckie & Mike.

to anyone curious, Beckie commented on this a yr ago about Mike & Karen offered to send the info.

By: Autumn

Autumn — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:48:56 +0000

It all sounded reasonable until the “Rule of 3″. I don’t agree with that in the slightest. If someone asks 8 always tell them the exact truth. I never trim it down a few, or by one even. But, if someone asks, I answer, and I am no longer interested in them. If he cares what happened before him, then that is a jealous prick, and I would be asking for nothing but trouble being with him. Especially if he goes by this stupid “Rule of 3″.

By: HotGuy_SoCali

HotGuy_SoCali — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 13:56:04 +0000

I know you are, but what am I?

By: diabz

diabz — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 12:59:37 +0000

I find it hard to believe that any (well, pretty much any) of the comments above have been written by people who have gone through puberty. Grow up you schmucks.

By: lida

lida — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 07:30:08 +0000

I would like to date mike!

By: ashley

ashley — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:57:48 +0000

I think all the rules and reasons and “red flags” are stupid. Everyone looks for something different in the opposite sex. Be yourself on a date and if the other person is into that.. great. If not, it wasn’t meant to be. Don’t spend your time trying to avoid these reasons and “red flags”. Because then you are not being yourself, and a relationship doesn’t work if one or both people are trying to be something they’re not. Do what makes you happy and find someone who is happy with you like that. Period.

By: chuck

chuck — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:16:09 +0000

karen you really kno how 2 lie and lie what a joke you cant seek the truth you never tell it