Racial Bias in Online Dating Sites
Are you a close-minded bigot?
Most people in life would answer that question with an emphatic NO. But when it comes to online dating and selecting the criteria for your potential dates, do you exclude people outside of your race? If so, why? Some people might say that they aren’t comfortable dating someone outside of their race due to cultural differences, while others would say that they just aren’t physically attracted to people of another race. Still others would give no reason at all.
According to a recent study by UCI (Universiity of Irvine, California) race played a huge factor (for white people) when it came to selecting a potential mate in an online dating site. The study was performed on the Yahoo! Personals online dating website and found the following conclusions:
- White men were more likely to exclude Black women as potential dates, and include women of Hispanic and Asian descent.
- White women were more likely to exclude Asian men as potential dates.
- White men were most often preferred by women of another race.
- White women were less likely to respond to advances from an Asian man, than they would a man of Black or Hispanic ethnicity.
- White men were the overall preference for women of all races.
- Almost 1 out of 2 White women only wanted to date a White man.
- 3 out of 5 White men selected a racial preference and half of those selected an Asian women and only 7% selected a Black woman.
Some of the biases that were found in the study included:
- Asian men are asexual and not masculine enough.
- Black women are bossy
- White women are status-oriented (and “stuck up bitches”)
- Asian women are hyper feminine and sex maniacs in the bedroom
These findings were based upon a survey of 6000 White men and women (ages 18-50) throughout major cities in the United States.
I have been involved with the online dating sites for well over 10 years and have two more (non-scientific) observations that I have seen pop up more than a few times:
- When it comes to selecting a date of the same race, some White people will look to see their potential dates racial preferences. If a White woman lists that she is open to dating a Black man, some White men will look at this as a “deal breaker”.
- If a White male lists his dating preferences as “Whites only” some White women will see them as being close-minded and refuse to communicate with them.
What are your guys experiences like? Are White people being racist or bigoted by selecting to date members of their own race only? What steps could people take to overcome their pre-conceived notions about race and dating?
What are your guys experiences like? Are White people being racist or bigoted by selecting to date members of their own race only? What steps could people take to overcome their pre-conceived notions about race and dating? Or despite the fact that we are living in the year 2010, will these dating preferences continue for thousands of years to come? (I’m not just talking about White people with regards to that last question. I’m talking about all people of all races).
Here, I will start: I have a white friend. He is 34 years old. He primarily likes to date blond (White) females. He would rather not date a Black nor Hispanic female, but he finds Indian (from the country India) women to be “extremely sexy” and has dated a few in years prior. Are his views bigoted because he generally only dates White women and would rather not date a Black/Hispanic female but would date a girl from Indian heritage?
About 5 years ago at my last job, I worked with a tall, skinny, fairly attractive Hispanic girl who was born in the US. She told me that she was primarily attracted to White men and was frustrated because whenever she went out to the bars in Hermosa Beach and tried to approach a White guy, she would be shot down almost immediately.
/Discuss
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March 9th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Well, this is a hot potato isn’t it? Firstly I want to say that I want someone who has integrity, faithfulness, and veracity. I used to care about what a man looked like, but not any longer.
Can you make me laugh? Laughter is so important to me.
Yeah, and as a white woman (from the free love dove hippy civil rights movement of the 60’s and 70’s – Grandma today…) I think that most of us would like to think that we are less constrained about race today. And I think that we are as a society. However looking for a partner in life is pretty intimate isn’t it? We are still geared to fear to some extent that which we do not know. So, what have you got to loose? Get to know them and see how it goes. Life is short, get out there and experience it.
March 9th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I remember over hearing someone make the following comment:
“Racism and bias will only be eliminated when members of each of the different races are sexually attracted to one another.”
That made me think.
March 9th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
As a single Hispanic female who tends to primarily date Caucasian men, I would have to agree with this post.
While I have no problem getting a date (I’m 28 and “better than average” when it comes to looks), it seems as if the guys that I’m always attracted to aren’t into dating Hispanic women.
I live in Southern California so am not sure if this is a National thing or just around these parts?
April 11th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I’m a 29 year old educated Black man, living in New York. While I certainly have things a lot easier than my parents did when they were growing up, I still find a bit of ….I don’t want to call it “discrimination”….but there definitely is some bias there.
When I go out to social events/bars (not the hole in the wall types) and talk to women, I have no problem striking up a conversation with a woman of another race (generally speak, White and Hispanic) but when it comes time to close the deal and get her phone number, I have gotten rejected more times than I care to remember.
Funny, but out of all the races, Asian women seem most open to dating a Black man.
On a side note, as far as online dating sites go….I have had the most success in meeting quality women in the past on eHarmony. I put “Black” as my race of choice to date when I was a member of eHarmony and I was getting a lot of good matches (with Black women) on a daily basis. Before eHarmony, I tried a few smaller “black dating” sites and they were just of lowered quality. Both the people and the site that looks like it was just set up to take my money. If you’re looking to date quality black people, I would only recommend eHarmony (if you’re looking for a quality relationship, that is).
July 31st, 2010 at 9:04 pm
It’s got to be rough having a preference for one group…
I prefer black AND hispanic, equaly…but I’ve never had a problem getting a hispanic man. In fact, I’ve dated more Dominicans, Puerto Ricans and Cubans than I have black men.
Not that I try to. I spent a lot of time in Florida. You couldn’t swing a cat without hitting a latino.
Anyway, this is one-sided.
White men are less likely to date black women?
Uh…how many black women are interested in dating white men?
Not many…or they say they will — but how many will actually go there?
LOL
‘Black women’ (collectively) have a strong preference for black men…and have always been the most reluctant of any group to date interracially. FACT.
Speaking of…
I’m having problems. LOL I want a black men but my matches are all non-black! Now, I date hispanics…but my matches aren’t my physical types.
September 23rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm
Ron,
I agree with you. I’m in the same boat. I used to never have a preference, but I think in far too many circles, Black men are still seen as a fetish or taboo. As a result of how I’ve been treated, I must admit that I lean away from White women (except for platonic friendships) and my preference for other groups has increased. I couldn’t be happier. Certain things just aren’t mean to be.
December 28th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
When you date outside of your race with the primary focus on just one group, you can not ask why people in that group are not generally interested in you, because it’s the same really.
I think a lot of women get pissed at me because I don’t act interested, though I really should have been. It’s not that they are interested in me per se, it’s that having someone like me interested in them makes them feel better. I have noticed this desire in women who date inter-racially with a focus on white males (I am not white). So I have come to the conclusion that women who focus on one race, typically have low self esteem probably caused by continual rejection due to crossing racial boundaries or relationship false starts due to inequities in the relationship caused by the overvaluation of her mate’s race. ie, if white males have the pick of many women, then it is easier for them to terminate a relationship since less investment will be required on their part to start a new one.
There is a strong preference across the board for white for many reasons:
1. Most populous
2. Perception of economic security/prosperity/status
3. Media presents as beautiful
The only way out of the problem is to treat people like people and ignore the media and untrain perceptions.