I have been dumped. I am not proud of that fact and quite honestly, it makes me very sad. But now in retrospect, I should have seen it coming. In the last four months, I have gained weight. I have put on about 20 lbs. I was very unhappy at work and I ate to soothe my pain. It didn’t work. The heavier I got, the more I ate. I also started checking out of my relationship. Figuring that my boyfriend of five years would always be with me no matter what, I retreated into myself and did not let him in.

I stopped wanting to go out because my clothes did not fit me. I stopped wanting to have sex because I was embarrassed about how I looked with my clothes off. I stopped being happy with myself and with him. I thought everything would get better in time but it did not. I see now that I did all of the wrong things. I am not saying that my boyfriend was right to break up with me but I can objectively look back and take responsibility for my part in letting our relationship crumble.

Obviously, just because you gain weight, your man should not leave. Agreed. One hundred percent, I concur. But, and this is a big one, it is all of the other junk that goes along with the gaining weight, that will take a toll on your relationship that you need to take responsibility for and you need to change or else your guy will be looking elsewhere.

I was at dinner the other night with my girlfriends. We were talking about what women can do if they have gained weight to make sure they keep their man. It is unhealthy to crash diet and expect to lose 20 lbs in a week. So if you have gained weight and you want to stay in your relationship, here are some realistic things that we have come up with that will keep your other half by your side through thick and thin.

-Exercise. Start by exercising. Walk, run, bike, whatever. Just make sure you break a sweat everyday. In fact, invite your sweetie along. Go play basketball with your man. Do a workout video together. Go for a walk in a park and hold his hand. This is a great way to bond and spend quality time together. Not only will this help you to lose weight but it will make you feel better because your body releases endorphins when you are burning calories. So exercise makes you look great and feel great. This is a no brainer.

-Diet. Watch what you eat. Yeah, yeah. I know. No one likes to hear this but you can do it. I’m not talking a drastic crash diet. All you have to do is start eating less and eating healthier. Pick up a loaf of whole grain bread versus white. Make a healthy pizza at home instead of picking up a greasy one from some chain restaurant. Baby steps. It will go along way.

While the whole “diet and exercising” thing is going on….that’s going to take a few weeks, maybe a few months. If you think your relationship is in serious trouble, here are a few ways to keep your boyfriend occupied mentally while you are busy getting your behind in shape (to take his mind off your weight and onto other things):

-Show Appreciation. Make your man feel like the only guy around. Compliment him. Touch him. Tell him how much you appreciate him. It has been proven that a guy does not cheat on someone because he finds a hotter girl. He cheats because he doesn’t feel appreciated. So girls, nip this in the bud right away. Let your man know he is hot, sexy and you are so very lucky to have him.

-Do “the thing”. Every girl out there knows that there is something that your man really wants you to do. Most of the time this involves something in the bedroom. Use your imagination. Think about something he is always begging you for and as Nike says, “Just do it”. It will make his day. Hell, it will probably make his month. Show him that you are the girl that he should stay with because you can give him what he wants. You’ll be irreplaceable.

-Be Happy. No one is happy all of the time but you can be happy 95% of the time. How do you do this? Look on the bright side. Find things that make you happy. People love to be around positive people. Think about when you were first dating. Were you a Negative Nelly? I bet you weren’t. That is the girl that he feel in love with so be that girl again. Show him that you are a happy, fun person that he would be a fool to give up.

-Dress Sexy. I know that sweatpants are comfy. And, you personally, may like granny undies. But I assure you that your man does not. Dress to impress. Dress sexy. The sexier you dress the sexier you will feel. Greet him at the door with thigh highs, heels and nothing else. You will blow his mind. Go out to dinner with him and dress up so that he is proud to show you off. Highlight your assets. Even if you don’t feel sexy, dress like you do. Once you see his eyes bulging out of his head, you will feel your sexy vixen start to come out.

-Don’t Criticize. This one is just common sense. If you have put on some pounds and he is letting it slide, then please do the same to him. Do not give him grief about the dishes he leaves in the sink. Look the other way when he leaves his clothes on the floor. I’m not saying that you have to do this forever but right now is not the time to make him feel bad or give him any reason to want to run away from you. Plus, when you start making him happy, he is going to want to make you happy, too.

-Talk Dirty. A little dirty talking goes a long way. This is really exciting for guys. They feel like they have died and gone to their own heaven. You will instantly be 100 times more attractive to them because you are their fantasy come to life (that they don’t have to pay for). Send dirty texts, leave naughty messages, and trust me, you will be the girl of their dreams.

Some of these tips are just temporary fixes. Kinda like if you break a nail before a date and you run to get the superglue so it will stay on for the night. It is not permanent, but it will do in a pinch. So before you can lose the weight you want to, follow the above tricks.

I hope this advice will help you to stay happy in your relationships and hold onto your man. He will love you, if you love yourself. Make him feel like he is king of your world and he will want to stay put. You have more power than you know. You are beautiful and deserve to be loved. Give and you shall receive. Now go find your man, do “the thing” right now and you can thank me for it afterwards.

It’s back !!

eHarmony.com – Try for Free Feb.11 – Feb.15

eHarmony is having their free communication weekend from Thursday, February 11 through Monday February, 15th 2010!

No credit card is required to participate in the eHarmony free comm. weekend.

If you have never used eHarmony before, it is very easy to get started. Simply click on the link above and fill out a free $40 value personality profile. You will be asked a series of easy questions about yourself and have to choose 1 of 5 options based on how strongly or not strongly you feel about the question. Take your time as eHarmony will then use this information to match you with other eHarmony members whom you are MOST compatible with. After you are finished eHarmony will then present to you a very detailed analysis of your personality. Other members will not be able to view your personality profile results unless you specifically state that they can. Then eHarmony will show you members whom you are most compatible with and you can freely communicate with them !

After the eHarmony free communication weekend be sure to come back for an eharmony promotional code which can be found here. I would advise you to choose a 6 or 12 month subscription (there are discounted codes listed for 6 and 12 month subs) because it greatly increases your chances at finding the love of your life, or perhaps even your soulmate. The reason being is that trying to find your soulmate in only 3 months is kind of like trying to become a black belt in Karate in the same amount of time. Chances are, it’s not going to happen. Take your time, get to know yourself and exactly what you are looking for in a partner and before you know it you could be in the best relationship of your life !

Free Communication Weekend @ Chemistry.com this weekend!

Chemistry.com is having a free communication weekend starting today (Friday the 5th) through Sunday the 7th.

Never heard of Chemistry.com? They are one of 3 “high end” online dating sites (eharmony.com and Perfectmatch.com being the other two). Chemistry.com is owned and operated by Match.com. Chemistry uses a patented personality profile to match quality singles with other quality singles. Chemistry allows not only for straight people to use their services, but gays and lesbians as well. You can also freely browse the personality profiles and are not limited to talking to the singles that Chemistry matches you up with.

Here’s a hot tip: Prior to this weekend, I spoke with the folks at Chemistry.com and they were generous enough to give my readers (yes you, the person reading this post) a 14 day free trial. After this free communication weekend is over, simply come back here and click the below link for the 14 day free trial. You might need to create a new account (I think you have to register for free with the link below) in order to take advantage of the 14 day free trial. Yes, it’s a little more work, but hell…..it’s a 2 week free subscription !

14 Days Free at Chemistry.com!

Over the past 4 years I have been running OnlineDatingMatches.com I have been asked the following question by many people:

“Which online dating site should I join?”

To which I simply replied: “What are you looking for?”

Each of the major online dating sites out there caters to a specific group of people, generally speaking. Each of the sites also has its pros and cons. Prior to writing this post, I did a little research online. I tried to find a website that basically explained what each online dating site was about, and what kinds of people joined. I found plenty of reviews of the online dating sites, but nobody really said which site is for who. I then asked a few of my readers to share their experiences (both good and bad) and surprisingly enough they were similar to my personal experiences.

Below you will find a general (can’t stress that enough) guideline as to what online dating site you should join, based upon what/whom you are looking for:

eHarmony.com

eHarmony is widely considered a “high end” online dating site. You aren’t going to find many people on eHarmony who are looking for 1 night stands. We have all seen the eHarmony commercials run 24/7, adnauseum. eHarmony is pretty much like what their commercials look like. People coming together, looking for the love of their life or something close. In comparison to the other online dating sites, eHarmony does cost a little bit more money. The way I (and a few other people who have had success on eHarmony) see it, it weeds out those who aren’t seriously looking for love. On the other hand, what if you are looking for love, but just can’t afford it due to the economy/etc. eHarmony offers promotional code which will allow you to save money on your monthly membership.

Chemistry.com:

The “eHarmony alternative”. Chemistry.com is run by Match.com and is another high end online dating site. The basic premise is similar to eHarmony: prior to joining you will need to complete an in-depth questionnaire which will then be used by Chemistry to match you with the person whom you are most compatible with. The main difference between the two is that Chemistry also allows for gays and lesbians to use their service as well. You can also browse profiles, wherein eHarmony you cannot. Is Chemistry.com better than eHarmony or vice versa? I have heard good things and bad things from people who have joined both sites. It’s kinda like comparing a Mercedes Benz to a BMW. The only thing they really have in common is that they cater to people who are looking for the best. Chemistry.com has a 7 day free trial offer for those who are on the fence.

Match.com:

If I could take the wildest party bar in Los Angeles and somehow turn it into a website, I would have created Match.com. Ok, so not everyone on Match.com is a party animal, but that’s the feeling that I get. Match.com is more “light and breezy” than eHarmony and Chemistry. Sure, there are people on Match who are looking to find Mr. or Mrs. Right….just as there are people on Match who are looking for Mr. or Mrs. “Right Now”. I have also noticed that the more skin you show on Match, the more responses you will get. Simply put, Match.com is the quintessential online dating site. It has been around forever and a day (and many people have gotten married who met on Match) and will continue to do so for many years to come. If you aren’t looking for your soulmate and are just looking to date to “see what might happen”, then I would advise you to join Match.com.

Yahoo Personals:

Same as Match.com. With one big caveat: I have met my last 3 girlfriends off of Yahoo Personals. To me (a single 30 year old guy) it seems that the women that I find on Yahoo are a lot less “flakey” than on other sites. The only negative about Yahoo Personals is that they need a new site interface update. The site looks like it hasn’t been updated in a while. But why mess with perfection? Yahoo Personals offers a 7 day free trial to their services, of which is more than enough to browse the profiles and see if something/someone catches your eye.

Plenty of Fish/Singlesnet.com:

The free online dating sites. A step up from picking up chicks on Myspace, a step down from an actual paying online dating site. There really isn’t much I can say about these free online dating sites, other than “you get what you pay for”.