Should you sleep with a guy on the first date?

If you are thinking of hitting the sheets with a guy right after your first date-don’t! I repeat…This is a bad idea. You know your local bag guy at the corner grocery store better than you know this guy. Even if he has said all of the right things, you do not need to be bedding down with him. If you wait, it’ll be even better after the fourth date or the date after that. I don’t have a steadfast rule on how many dates you need to go on before you do sleep with a guy but it really needs to be at least after a few. Guys like the chase. If you give in right away, where’s the mystery? There isn’t any. And for great sex, you need to have a build up. There’s no build up if you are sleeping with him right away. You just come across as easy. It’s true. Go on; ask some of your guy friends. They’ll tell you the same thing.

A good way to avoid nooky on the first date is to avoid a lot of alcohol. I know, alcohol helps you to relax but too much and you’ll lose your inhibitions and your shirt by the end of night. And no one likes a sloppy drunk. Have just a couple of light drinks and drink water the rest of the night. Your head and you dignity will thank you the next day.

If you are worried about what the guy will say then be prepared with a response if he asks you about it. You can tell him that you are interested in him but you feel like in order for things to move forward, you will need to wait until the time is right. Tell him that you are sure that he can understand that because he has been such a gentleman all night long. If he pressures you, this should send up red flags that this is not the guy that you want to be with. You deserve better!

Sex does not equal love. And girls, just because you sleep with a guy this does not mean he is in love with you. It also does not mean that by sleeping with him, you’ll be able to make him fall in love with you. You are much smarter than that and you need to show him that there is more to you than what is between your legs. Sex, I repeat, does not equal love.

Think of it like this…If you wanted ice cream, right now, and you went out and bought some and ate it, then it would be good. But if you could not have the ice cream, then your desire for it will grow stronger and stronger as the days or weeks go on. And when you finally do taste that Chocolate Chip ice cream that you have been dreaming of it tastes amazing!

I don’t know any guy, worth dating, that doesn’t respect a girl for waiting awhile to sleep with him. It also shows him that you are not sleeping with just any guy that pays for your dinner. You will show him that if he treats you right and you two continue to have a good time together, then and only then, will he get some.

You deserve to value yourself and by “saving” yourself until you feel that the time is right, you will be doing just that. You will be making your relationship with this guy stronger by making him wait. You increase his desire and we all know that increased desire is a good thing. You are his Chocolate Chip ice cream with whip cream and cherries on top. I’m all for a good roll in the hay, just make sure that you are rolling around with the right cowboy.

Hey Guys,

I’m starting a new series on this site regarding weight loss and exercise. I feel that it is very important for one to have high self esteem prior to entering the dating arena. In this day and age, way too much importance is placed on how people look. Especially women. Far too many people in this day and age are caught up on looks….so much so that the person whom they might be most compatible with would not even get a second look if they aren’t considered “hot”. I have asked relationship and dating advice counselor “Joy” to author a few articles for this site. Her main specialty is helping people get over relationship breakups. As always, check with your Doctor prior to performing any weighloss or exercise routines. In conjunction with exercise, a proper diet is required to lose weight. Some people have had success with the Medifast diet plan. I have compiled a list of medifast coupons that you can use to save money ($50 off, free shipping and a host of other medifast coupon codes).

How to get motivated in order to exercise:

Even with the best intentions, I have found it hard to exercise. Exercise is really not fun for me. But I have learned that I love the feeling that I have after I exercise. The rush of endorphins is wonderful. The feeling of accomplishment is grand. And to top everything off, just knowing that I don’t have to workout any more that day is awesome! So I have decided to use that feeling as my motivation.

I like looking and feeling good. I like being thin. And with my genes, the only way to accomplish that is to watch what I eat and to exercise. Unfortunately, I was not born with a metabolism that no matter what I ate I would stay slim. I have always had to work at it. Fair, no. But at least, I have had lots of good practice over the years of knowing what I have to do to stay at my goal weight. I know if I’m going to splurge on a big meal or a high calorie dessert, I will have to pay with exercise. So back to my new motivation. I am going to use the feeling that I always have after I workout to push me through my dread of working out.

The first time I decided to try it, I had woken up early and had plenty of time before my day got started to pop in an exercise video and get my day off to a good start. I desperately wanted to get on Facebook and play Rollercoaster Kingdom but I decided to practice my new inspiration. I sat on my bed and visualized how I looked and felt after I had a good sweat session. I could almost feel the endorphins rushing in my body and the sense of accomplishment that I always felt when I had finished my exercise. I knew that if I got it out of the way this early that I wouldn’t have to think twice about it later. How great would that be! I would be done. Done with my dreaded exercise and I could have my endorphin rush and pat myself on the back all day long! That was the kick in the pants that I needed.

I got up, popped in my workout DVD and started. I wish I could tell you that I smiled and loved every minute of it. Far from that, believe me. But, like every professional athlete, I kept my eye on the prize. I knew that I would be done soon enough. I knew that I would experience my rush and be extremely proud of myself when I was through. And guess what, I was. I got through and breathed a sigh of relief and knew that I was finished for the day!

What a glorious feeling. To be done and to have the rest of my day to focus on everything else (including, of course, Rollercoaster Kingdom). So I have decided that my experiment worked. I still do not like exercise. But I love the way that I feel afterwards. I love being able to check it off my list of what I need to do. I even get giddy when I am lost in thought and think about what exercise I have to do later and then remember that I am already done. And even though it is probably in my head, I feel a whole new wave of endorphins rush over me and remind me of my accomplishment.

I have learned that I need motivation to exercise. Since I am not one of those people that live to sweat my brains out, I know that I need something to peak my interest. And that, for me, is the feeling of achievement that I get every time I am done. I know that it is a fact of life, in order to stay in shape and to stay healthy, I have to exercise. I have to spend time pushing my body to the limit. It is the ugly truth. But I am willing to reconcile with it, as long as I look good in my jeans and feel good on the inside. Exercise and I will never be good friends but as long as we are playing on the same team, fighting for the same goal, I will continue to invite it in and begrudgingly enjoy its company.

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Even if you don’t plan on signing up for eHarmony, take your time to honestly and accurately fill out the personality profile. After you are finished, you will then be presented with a very detailed analysis of your personality which you can use to see how others view you. Sometimes asking your family and friends to give their honest opinion about you (”Why can’t I find a boyfriend/girlfriend?”) won’t elicit a very honest response.

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Think back to why you are joining eHarmony…..you are looking for QUALITY. Good things take time. You can’t expect to walk into a Karate class and become and expert in just one short month…..why would you expect anything less from your search for the perfect mate?

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Your best chance at success on eHarmony results directly from how much effort you put into it. Like anything else in life, good things take time. eHarmony is responsible for hundreds of marriages every year (and tens of thousands since their beginning) so bide your time. My advice to people who are just starting eharmony (besides taking advantage of the eharmony promotional code) is to take some time to get to know yourself. The best way this can be accomplished is to just get out there and date people. You will learn a lot about who you are, and exactly what you are looking for once you get into the swing of things.

These 6 and 12 month eHarmony subs are without a doubt the best way to join the site. I have received several emails from people asking me “why”. It’s simple, you can’t rush a good thing. eHarmony knows this and as such offers a 6 and 12 month discount on their subscriptions. If you are seriously looking for the love of your life, or a serious relationship, or something in between, you can’t expect to find it in just 1-3 months. It’s like anything else in this world that is worth having….good things take time. You wouldn’t walk into a karate studio and expect to become a black belt in 3 months, would you?

How to Lose Weight Before a Date

If you don’t have the time nor energy to embark on the latest diet fad, or (gasp) exercise, one way to quickly lose a few pounds in a couple of days is to go on the Medifast diet. Lately I have been hearing from many different women who are on the “yo yo” diet with Medifast. It works like this: They have an important function or date coming up and need to lose 5-10 pounds quickly. They don’t have the time to exercise and “eating right” is out of the question. They buy 2 weeks worth of Medifast food in advance, then within the first week (generally speaking) they have lost at least 5 pounds, not including water weight gain. I’m not advising anyone to try this diet as I personally have no experience with it….just passing along the latest “fad” to hit the yo-yo dieters out there. If you decide to try this diet, I have found a few medifast coupons that you can use to save money. There is a coupon for free medifast, $50 off and a free shipping coupon as well.

We have all been there. Your Match profile pics look way better than you do when you roll out of bed in the morning. And I know all of my friends’ pictures are taken at a really good angle so that it makes them look at least 10 lbs lighter. But what happens when you are supposed to meet hotguy69 from eHarmony in 7 days and you have 10 lbs to lose. Well, let me tell you girls some tricks from the trade. First, I have to warn you that you cannot lose 10 lbs in just one week and you should not. It is very dangerous to lose more than 1-3 lbs in a week but you can definitely make yourself appear to be 10 lbs lighter with these great tips:

Exercise

Yes, the age old cure for fat, exercise. It will make your muscles pop. Your body needs a few good sweat sessions. During this week, try to get in at least 3-4 aerobic activities each lasting approximately one hour. It can be anything from running to swimming to biking or anything else, as long as you break a sweat. The upside about exercise is that it will make you feel sexier. And look leaner. Exercise is every girl’s best friend and is not a four letter word.

Cut out salt and bad carbohydrates

If you want to look leaner, cut out the things that will make you bloated. These include simple carbohydrates such as bread, potatoes, white rice, pasta and pizza and salty fares. I know these are the good things in life but in order to fit into your cute outfit you need to cut them out this week. Instead, eat complex carbohydrates such as: brown rice, whole wheat bread, fruits, and grilled food. Think about foods you consider healthy and that is what you should be eating.

Drink lots of water and green tea

Water is always the best thing you can put into your body. It is what makes up 70 percent of every human body, anyways. Water also helps you beat the bloat, believe it or not. When you drink water, your body releases stored up liquid that is causing you to be bloated. Try to drink at least 6-8 glasses of water a day. Green tea is another wonderful liquid to be drinking. It has scientifically been proven to help you lose weight. It also has a lot of other wonderful properties that are extremely beneficial to you. So drink up. The recommended amount is 3 cups per day. So cheers to green tea.

Cut out the soda

Soda, even diet soda, has carbonation in it. This causes bloating in the stomach and causes your clothing to not fit. You want to cut out all sodas or carbonated beverages at least a few days before your big date. See above and drink water or green tea instead.

Do not starve yourself

I repeat, do not starve yourself. This is a sure fired way for you to hit McDonalds and Burger King after your date. You will be famished if you do not eat properly the whole week prior to your date. Stick to the basics. Eat lots of fruit, veggies, good proteins (like grilled chicken, fish, tofu, etc.) and complex carbohydrates (see above). You do not need to gain three additional pounds after the date because you went on a huge binge.

Spanx

Drum roll, please, Spanx. If you have not heard of them you are really missing out! These, ladies, are a godsend. You will want to own a pair, or more! Oprah sings their praises. She loves spanx. Spanx are body shaping undergarments designed to give the wearer a slim and shapely appearance. It basically sucks you in, in all of the right places. These and other knockoff brands you can find at any of the major department stores or even Walmart. Just find one that works perfectly under your outfit and voilà you are 10 lbs lighter!! Love it!!

Clothes

This is the cherry on the top. After you have done all of your good work then you finish it off with a great slimming outfit. If you are a pear shape or apple shape, you should probably wear a dress to minimize your hips and butt. I would stay away from pants but if you must then go with a cute pair of bootcut jeans that fit you really well and a long flowing top. Black is always a good color because it is slimming. Big belts also draw attention to your slim waist and away from your bottom half. Dangly earrings are also great because they bring attention to your face. Showing a little bit of cleavage (not too much, you don’t want to look like you are giving the goods away) is always fabulous, too.

So there you have it. Try out these tricks to looking slimmer and see how it goes. The more time you have the better. But no stress, life is too short. Good luck with your date and remember that you are there to have a great time with a hot guy and there is no time to worry about the last few pounds you need to drop. Believe me, he is not thinking about that at all.

Bonus tip: Do not try this without consulting your doctor first…..but back in high school, when the guys on the wrestling team wanted to lose a few pounds very quickly in order to meet their target weight for the upcoming match….I remember seeing them dressing up in layers of hoodie hooded sweatshirts and about 3-4 pairs of sweatpants. They then went for a jog or did some other strenuous physical activity. Again, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR FIRST IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING THIS.