How to Spot Online Dating Scams
Almost everyone out there at some point or another has received an urgent email from the Minister of Defense from a relatively unknown kingdom in the country of Nigeria:
Hello Kind Sir,
My name is Mogodishu Abudaba and I am the Minister of Defense of Nigeria. The King of Nigeria has personally requested that I send you this time sensitive email. The Royal Compound is under attack from Rebel Forces and we fear we cannot hold them off for much longer. They are currently constructing plans to build a Death Star and we are greatly outnumbered.His Highness urgently needs your help. I propose to transfer the sum of 20 million U.S. dollars into your bank account and with your help, the King of Nigeria will defeat the Rebel forces and bring peace and unity to his Kingdom once again.
Unless you have been living under a rock for all of your life, that’s one of the oldest online email scams out there. There is no King, no Rebel Forces, no Darkside. Just some scammer sitting in a computer cafe 5,000 miles away trying to take advantage of you.
According to the IC3 (a joint venture between the FBI and a crime stoppers organization) cyber crime is on the rise and the scammers are using ever more sophisticated techniques
Although no one thinks that they’ll ever become a victim of an online dating scam, thousands of online daters are duped by con artists on an annual basis. Not only do online dating scams pull at your heartstrings, they also leave your finances in a wreck. Some scammers even take their time by buttering you up over a period of several months in order to earn your trust, then bam – before you realize it, the scammer is nowhere to be found, having taken both your money and your heart.
There are a variety of online dating scams that you have to watch out for, but almost all of them involve money and Nigerians. The scammers may tell you a sob story and then ask you to help them by wiring money. In other cases, scammers might ask you to cash some money orders for them and then wire the money abroad because they’re having trouble cashing the money orders in their country.
So, you cash the money orders and then wire the cash to your newfound lover, while your head’s still in the clouds. Eventually, you get a call from your bank… and you realize that the money orders worth hundreds of dollars that your “lover” asked you to cash were doctored to read that they were for a much larger amount of money! And guess who has to pay the consequences? It certainly won’t be the scammer, who’ll be long gone by then.
Sometimes, these so-called Nigerian scammers don’t even ask if the person can cash the money orders for them; they just go ahead and send them. Then, they pressure and guilt the person into cashing them and wiring the money.
Another type of Nigerian scam involves asking people to re-ship items to Nigeria for them. They purchase goods with stolen credit cards and then have someone they met on an online dating site re-send the package to Nigeria, since many companies are now reluctant to ship to Nigeria due to fraud issues.
All You Need Is Love… To Get Scammed
Many of these scammers target online daters who are lonely and single, sending them flowers and gifts that they bought with stolen credit cards. Many lonely women fall for this trick immediately and believe that they are “in love” after receiving a gift. Eventually, the scammers convince these girls who are head over heels in love with them to do them a little favor.
Some scammers even target particular groups of singles, such as Christian singles. Christian singles often have a false sense of security online because they feel like they can trust other Christians. But remember: no dating site is immune to scams.
Tips for Protecting Yourself from Online Dating Scams
One way to determine whether or not you’re dealing with a scammer on an online dating website is by examining the messages they send you. Are they vague? Do you always receive immediate responses, even though you didn’t tell them that you’d be online? Are the messages always badly written? Do the messages change in tone, language or style? All of these are red flags. Another warning sign is when emails seem like generic responses that have been cut, pasted, and slightly altered.
If you have met someone who seems very interested in you and asks you lots of questions, that’s great, but do they talk about their lives in detail? If you find that you’ve divulged a lot of information about your personal life but still know very little about the other person, you may be dealing with a scammer.
The most obvious warning signs are being asked to wire money, cash money orders, re-ship packages, or set up Paypal accounts. No matter how plausible their story sounds and no matter how heartfelt their messages seem, don’t do it! And be sure to report abuse to the online dating site where you met the con artist so you can prevent folks who are more gullible than you from falling for the same scam. There are also several sites that were created by and for victims of online dating scams, where visitors can share photos and information about their experiences with scammers, so don’t hesitate to spread the word about any questionable encounters you have.
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August 4th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I have found that on the dating sites that freely allow you to view other people’s profiles by just a simple search (basically all of the free online dating sites like PlentyofFish, OKcupid, Singlesnet) the chances for a woman above the age of 30 to get contacted by a scammer are much higher than on the high end online dating sites. I have been a member of both PerfectMatch and am a current member of eHarmony and not once have I gotten a scam email. However, when I was a member of OKcupid, on any given week I got no less than 5 emails….some of which were blatantly fake, others which looked legit, but after talking to the person my instincts told me something wasn’t right.
August 4th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Great article, thanks!