How to Protect Yourself from the Dangers of Online Dating (Without Packing Heat)
How to Protect Yourself from the Dangers of Online Dating (Without Packing Heat)
Each year, hundreds of thousands of people meet their significant others on online dating websites, get married, and live happily ever after. Just because you’ve heard so many success stories, however, doesn’t mean that your online dating experience will always feel like a romantic comedy. For every storybook romance that has bloomed from an online dating website, there’s a comical, nightmarish, or even frightening story to tell.
The internet is jam packed with weirdos and wishful thinkers that hide behind their anonymity, so it’s important to keep your own safety at the forefront of your mind when you dabble in online dating. Here are a few internet dating safety tips that you can follow to protect yourself while you pursue your cyber romance.
Take It Slow
You see a guy who strikes your fancy on an online dating site and his pictures get your hard-earned seal of approval. You chat for a few minutes and you seem to hit it off, so it’s time to meet up in person, right?
Woah, wait a minute, easy tiger… try to take things a little more slowly. In the online world, a guy who says that he’s a slim and single 29 year old executive consultant living in Manhattan might actually be actually an overweight, twice-married cashier living in Trenton. Remember – if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is! Spend AT LEAST a month or two getting to know someone online, and be wary if he/she seems eager to rush things to a pace that’s far too fast for comfort.
Don’t Give Personal Information Away
Don’t give any personal information away online until you know the person really well and have met them several times in real life. That means that on your dating profile, you shouldn’t mention your last name, the name of your employer, your address, your phone number, or any other information that could compromise your identity.
Create a free email account with an email provider like Gmail or Yahoo and don’t display your full name with your email address, so people can’t search for your name online and find out more about you after receiving an email from you. If you want to chat with someone over the phone, only give your cell phone number away. Giving your home phone number away could put you in danger because people can find your home address by using a reverse lookup directory.
Always Meet in a Public Place
When you decide to meet someone from an online dating website in person, make sure that you always meet in a public place! Never go to the person’s house or invite them to your house, no matter how trustworthy they seem. And don’t meet up at an isolated park on the outskirts of the city; meet at a busy restaurant or café in the heart of town so there are plenty of other people around you.
Go with Your Gut
If you feel weird about something or someone, don’t ignore that nagging feeling. When you talk to a person online and they seem “off” somehow, consider that a red flag and proceed with caution. Your instincts are more telling than you could imagine.
Use Paid Online Dating Services
Even the most expensive online dating sites may be populated with a few whackos, but the chances of meeting a nut job are far higher if you use a free online dating service. On free sites, there’s no barrier to entry since you don’t have to give away your credit card info and other personal deets.
To heighten your chances of meeting someone who’s perfectly normal, perfectly healthy (in the words of Adam Carolla of Loveline fame), stick with the paid sites, preferably ones that perform background checks. But don’t make the mistake of feeling 100% safe just because you’re using a site that requires background checks; regulations vary from state to state, so sometimes, even a background check isn’t proof enough that your date is who he/she claims to be.
Always Ask to See a Picture
You might be drooling when you read a potential date’s physical description online, but take every adjective with a grain of salt until you a see a recent picture that backs up the verbiage. If a person’s picture is blurry or looks like it was taken in the 70s, beware!
Let a Friend or Family Member Know What’s Going On
Planning to finally meet your online friend in person for the first time? Make sure to tell a friend or family member where you’re going and what time you’re meeting. Forward them the messages you exchanged with your online friend in case something goes wrong and they need to track you down. And don’t forget to carry your cell phone in case you need to call 911!
Lay off the Booze
If possible, avoid consuming alcohol when you meet your date in person because it will cloud your judgment if you have one glass too many. Your best bet would be to avoid drinking altogether, but if you like to drink a little bit to ease tension and grease the social wheels, nurse that baby and never let it out of your sight. That way, no one will have a chance to slip a suspicious substance into your drink.
So, there you have it. Sorry if I freaked you out! While it’s important to never let your guard down completely when you’re experimenting with online dating, you shouldn’t let your paranoia overcome you, either. If you pack heat or hire a bodyguard to accompany you on every date, you’ll end up scaring off the good ones, too! As long as you take the above precautions when meeting online dates in person, you can probably leave your pistol at home.
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October 29th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
One of the hidden dangers that few are aware of are the third party backdoors to some dating websites. For example, Match.com provides a dating function to the highly controversial website TOPIX, which is under investigation by attorney generals nationwide. This means that people surfing the highly destructive topix forums, trolling for someone to abuse, might actually see a photo from a match.com member and decide to pursue. It is a scary thought and match.com members really should be contacting match about this until Topix has been reformed or shut down.