How to Avoid Attracting Men Who Only Want Sex (and Not a Relationship)
I just wanted to give a small tip to the women out there who find themselves attracting men who only want sex and not a relationship:
If you are looking for a quality relationship, you have to lower your standards and stop being so shallow.
Now I realize that not all women are like this. There are however a good portion of women out there (online dating sites, anyone?) who would rather date a mindless hunk, than a guy that has a lot of things in common with her and has act together in life. Women like this then wind up complaining to their girlfriends how a good man is hard to find.
The problem here (from a guy’s perspective) is very simple:
You have a “cute” (but not “hot”) looking girl who is trying to date out of her league. Most “hot” guys out there can pretty much get any girl they want….so what makes you think you are so special? Shallowness is a two way street, and once the hunk gets tired of you or a prettier and much skinnier girl comes along…..he’s out the front door in a heartbeat. These types of guys are only after one thing. You might be lucky enough to shackle them down for a few months (even luckier if you make a year) but when he walks out on you for no reason at all, you have just been burned by the game you have been playing.
If a girl is so shallow that she bases her dating choices solely upon looks….then chances are a dead skunk in the middle of the road has a better personality than she does.
So to all the “cute” (but not “Perfect 10″) women out there who are tired of meeting guys who only want sex, LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. This doesn’t mean walk down to your local homeless shelter and start dating. Does the guy HAVE to have a 6 pack? Does he HAVE to have huge muscles? Does your ideal man HAVE to have the perfect body? Chances are an emphatic “no”. Now for women who are in their early 20′s, this may not hold as much weight as it does for women who are in the late 20′s to mid 30′s. If you haven’t noticed lately, by the time you hit 30, your looks aren’t getting any hotter. The older you get, the less successful you will be at playing the “I’m waiting for my Brad Pitt hunk to carry me off on his white horse” game. Chances are that once you hit 35, you will be scrambling to find anything out there that is willing to even look at you.
If you simply cannot get past the way a guy looks, try dating men who are on the same “level” of attractiveness that you are. Then out of those guys, pick the one whom you have the most in common with.
Otherwise, enjoy being a life-time member of the online dating services.
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
“From a girl’s perspective”: What about guys who are convinced they can only date girls 10 to 20 years younger than them? What’s up with that? The guy won’t even date someone his own age and definitely doesn’t want an older woman, so what in the world makes him think the girl wants an older man. It’s crazy, but I’d say at a minimum 75% of the men whose online profiles I’ve read fall into that category.
October 12th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
This is a joke. The quality of man body has gone down in the last decade or two. Now men all have beer and pizza bellies and don’t exercise. NO thanks. I’d rather have hot sex with a hot guy for a month or two (rinse repeat) than date an ugly guy who can’t be bothered to work out.
January 2nd, 2011 at 9:20 am
I believe all the notions in both this article and comment are starkly weak arguments all around. With with dating, I maintain somewhat high standards but they are not -shallow- ones. I feel that the notion of this article just only applies to the immature, not-yet-fully-matured childish teen.
I’m 23 and the main complaint I have is the fact that guys my age don’t want to connect with me on an intellectual level. I feel I have to date men in their 30s and beyond just to achieve this. However, I’m just faced with the dilemma of these men not having respect for my maturity at my age.
I feel women should maintain their high standards… they aren’t bad—though I can see why being shallow doesn’t work at all. However, lowering this standard is almost a given if you befriend people appropriately, and seek out true connections.
One realizes that people connect on much deeper levels besides looks and that levels of attraction fluctuate and sometimes are even disregarded after the preliminary acclimation phase of relationships.