How to Analyze Online Dating Profiles
Secrets to Determining an Online Dater’s Personality
The biggest complaint among people who have repeatedly failed to find a date online is that they keep meeting the wrong people. The real reason why they’re dating one dud after another, however, is that they’re not reading deeply enough into profiles prior to sending or responding to messages. When you read between the lines of a dating profile, you can figure out pretty quickly what kind of person you’re dealing with. The pictures somebody selects for their dating profile are also telling.
Introverts vs. Extroverts
First things first, what kind of person do you want to date: the quiet, pensive type or the loud, talkative type? You can determine whether someone is an introvert or extrovert by examining the quality of their dating profiles. Introverts are more likely to spend a lot of time revising their profiles until they’re at the pinnacle of perfection, while extroverts usually slap something up and tweak it as they go. So, the more polished a profile, the more likely it is that you’re dealing with an introvert.
How to Gauge an Online Dater’s Personality and Motives Based on Pictures
A guy who posts pictures of his torso, curvy biceps, or washboard abs is an egotistical d*bag is looking for one thing: sex. If you’re not using online dating websites to find casual sex, be wary of the infamous torso and bicep pic guys.
And guys, you need to watch out for the girls who post pics of themselves in skimpy clothes while showing off their cleavage. These girls have undoubtedly been around the block and back numerous times.
People who take pictures of themselves are self-centered and vain. Posting one or two pics you took by yourself is fine, but anyone who posts several either has extremely low self-esteem or no life at all. Look for profiles that feature pics of a person out and about enjoying life if you want to date someone who actually has something interesting to say and isn’t spending their weekends locked up in their room for personal photo shoots with their cell phone camera.
People who post pictures of themselves out at a bar with friends are sleazy bar hoppers who probably wake up every Saturday morning next to some dude or dude-ette they don’t even recall meeting. Especially beware of people who take their own pictures in bar bathrooms, as that is the epitome of sleazy.
You should also avoid online daters that post only a single pic of themselves. Someone who only posts one picture is either not serious about online dating or is trying to hide his/her appearance for some shady reason. Even people with the ugliest mugs look good in at least one picture, so the true test is being able to look attractive in several photos.
User name: Cliché, Captivating, or Plain Creepy?
Anyone with a cliché user name like Prince Charming is going to be a boring, conformist nobody. If you want to date a Joe Schmo or Jane Doe, then go for it, but if you want to meet someone who actually has a personality, look for user names that obviously took a bit of effort to come up with.
Usernames that contain sexual references obviously belong to people who are only looking for casual sex. Avoid the online daters with sexed up usernames if you’re interested in pursuing a serious relationship or going on dates that don’t conclude in a seedy hotel room.
Engage with online daters who have user names that resonate with you. People use words that reflect their personalities when they create their user names, so be sure that the user names of people you contact align with your own interests and beliefs.
Word Choice
Countless studies have shown that people’s word choice reflects their personality type. These are descriptions of four main personality types as well as the words they typically use in their dating profiles:
Personality type: Builder
Description: calm, loyal, orderly, cautious
Words they like: respect, loving, moral, trustworthy
Compatible with: other builders
Personality type: Negotiator
Description: romantic, idealistic, social, searching for their “soul mate”
Words they like: empathy, passion, real, kind, sensitive
Compatible with: directors, other negotiators
Personality type: Explorer
Description: enthusiastic, optimistic, curious, outgoing
Words they like: adventure, spontaneous, active, fun, energetic
Compatible with: other explorers
Personality type: Director
Description: practical, analytic, direct, competitive
Words they like: ambitious, intellectual, geek, nerd
Compatible with: negotiators
Red Flags to Watch Out For
If you see these words and phrases on a dating profile, beware:
“Tired of the bar scene,” actually means, “I am totally addicted to online dating and don’t ever plan on settling for one person. I love to meet up with new online daters every week. Once I have exhausted all of the members I’m interested in on a dating site, I move on to another.”
“Players and deadbeats need not apply,” actually means, “I have unrealistically high standards and think all men are scum. Don’t contact me unless you’re cool with being ridiculed on a daily basis. I will be very suspicious of your every move and may hire a private investigator to follow you around.”
Other red flags to watch out for include swearing and misspelling. Someone who swears in their profile is vulgar, verbally abusive, and extremely irresponsible. Anyone who misspells words in their dating profile most likely has a low IQ and is all around careless. So, if you’re the smart, meticulous type who seeks order and follows the rules, avoid the chronic misspellers.
Taste in Music and Books
Another great way to gauge someone’s personality on an online dating site is through reviewing their taste in books and music. Here’s a breakdown of what someone’s taste in books and music may mean:
Favorite book: The Notebook – Translates to: “I am high-maintenance and desperate to get married and have kids, like YESTERDAY. Sweep me off my feet, send me roses, and leave love letters on my car windshield.”
Favorite book: The Da Vinci Code – Translates to: “I have been cheated on numerous times, so I always think that you’re trying to hide something from me. I’ll stalk you, check your phone’s text messages when you’re not looking, and be an overall thorn in your side.”
Favorite book: Freakonomics – Translates to: “I will analyze everything you do and argue whenever there’s an opportunity and I won’t shut up until you let me have the last word.”
Favorite music: Megadeath – Translates to: “Dude…..dude!….dude?”
Favorite music: 50 Cent – Translates to: “I’m lookin’ to hit it and quit it. Want to be the next notch on my bed post?”
Favorite music: Miles Davis – Translates to: “I’m a pseudo-intellectual who pretends to like this horrendously boring music just so you think I’m charming.”
Favorite music: Jessica Simpson – Translates to: “I’m a shallow trendy person who is easily amused by shiny things.”
And Last But Not Least, Beware of the Wink-Obsessed!
If somebody winks at you, it probably means that they just want to get into your pants. People who “wink” at others rather than send them a message are not carefully reviewing profiles. They’re simply winking at all the hotties and waiting to see which ones respond with naked pictures. So, if you’re looking for someone with whom you see eye-to-eye, only talk to people who go out of their way to write you coherent messages that demonstrate that they actually read your profile.
This article is best used on the “freebie” online dating sites like OKcupid and Plenty of Fish. Reason being is that their core focus is on quantity, not quality. As such they do not have a very good matchmaking system in place (unlike eHarmony and PerfectMatch and Chemistry.com whose core values are based on a very comprehensive matchmaking system). With the freebie online dating sites, you’re given the opportunity to create a profile and then set loose adrift in a sea of online daters.
And now it’s your turn, my dear readers. How do you judge fellow online daters? What clues and words in a dating profile send you running for the hills?
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August 1st, 2010 at 7:05 pm
I have learned to watch out for guys with very few up close facial pictures. The ones I have met in real life looked nothing like their pictures online. True, one or two of them may be a bit shy about posting pictures online, but from what I have seen it’s usually the other way around.
Just my .02
August 23rd, 2010 at 4:28 pm
wow. kinda egotistical and know it nothing, aren’t you? an intern perhaps? or simply jaded because your own online dating profile(s) aren’t summoning the desired results?
your article is FILLED with clichés and personal opinions which aren’t necessarily even true, and in most cases most likely are not.
i stumbled upon this site accidentally and remained for a mere skim before laughing it off. not in an amused way but in a horribly unconvinced way. you should be ashamed for posting personal opinions as end-alls. your website is also full of grammatical errors, such as spelling the word “sites” as “sights”. learn some basic english!
signed a woman online dater with waaaaay better insights (yes it’s insights not insites) and advice to share than you
August 23rd, 2010 at 5:04 pm
January 15th, 2012 at 10:08 am
Total crap.
January 15th, 2012 at 10:15 am
Total crap. I would suggest posting a very basic profile. Forget books, music and philosophical drivel. Provide hair splitting details only to people you like.