The Girlfriend Title
The “girlfriend” Title
Isn’t it funny how a label can mean so much to someone, especially to women. Most men don’t care what you call them as long as you are putting out. But women, we need a title. We like “girlfriend”, “fiancé” and “wife”. We feel better when we have a title. We feel like we belong. It means something to us. We know that it is hard for men to hand out titles, so when we get one, we feel like it really does mean something. We share it with all of our friends, “I am now “officially” Billy’s girlfriend”!! And we are so proud. It is like a mini-celebration.
I know that it is not the same for guys. I know that giving “the title” means that they are ready to commit but it is not the same for them. They do not need it, like we do. They are not getting high-fives from their friends when they have officially titled their girl. In fact, most of their friends, will give them hell about it because “who wants a girlfriend”, “be single”, “enjoy life”. The guys that are usually saying that are in relationships and are unhappy or single guys that don’t want to lose one of their friends to “the dark side”.
A title can be a good thing, for both parties involved. When you are with the right person and you want to just be with that one person, a title is needed. If you are just hanging out and you can date whomever you please, and visa versa, then you can just call her by her first name when you introduce her. But be aware, as soon as you introduce her like that to another guy, he knows that she is fair game. If you say, “This is my girlfriend, Mary”, then all bets are off. So you get to decide, is she worth holding onto.
Having a girlfriend does have a lot of perks. You have a constant companion. You have someone who understands you. And, you know, when you are having a bad day, she’ll be there for you. The title girlfriend should not be a scary thing. If it is, then you need to re-assess your relationship or yourself.
What makes you not want to hand out a title? Is she not the one? Are you waiting for someone better? If so, you really need to make that quite clear to the other party involved. If you just want a casual relationship (read: friends with benefits), then you need to be fair to her and let her know. But be prepared. She may want more. And if she does and she leaves, how will you feel? Think long and hard about this before you have this talk.
Some guys (and a few, very few, girls) are not into titles. They like to keep things just fun and fancy free. And I think that is fine if both people feel the same way. But if you are just scared of kissing your single life goodbye because you decided to settle down then you need to rent Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. And if you meet the right girl, don’t let her slip away.
Is there an appropriate time for you to hand out the coveted girlfriend title? No. It needs to be when you feel like your relationship has moved on to the next stage and you want to see this girl exclusively. Then you do need to talk to her about being exclusive and see how she feels. If she feels the same, then great, she gets to throw her mini-celebration with her friends and you get a cool chick who is proud to be with you. If she is not ready for that step, and you are, then you may want to think about what you want in the long run. Are you willing to wait? Or do you need to find someone who is heading down the same path you are?
The “girlfriend title” can be a wonderful thing. It is not something to be scared of. It is something to be excited about. It means someone cares as much for you as you do for her. It means you are ready for the next step. So go on out there and give that girl that means so much to you her very own title, your girlfriend.
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