Hey Ladies !  My name is Matt and I was asked by the owner of this site to come on here and confess my sins:

I am currently cheating on my girlfriend of 4 years, and to be quite honest I have no intention of stopping.  The reason(s) I am cheating are many and varied.   I didn’t agree to come on here to be crucified by a bunch of jilted women.   If that’s the only thing you can say about me, take it somewhere else as you won’t be telling me anything I haven’t already heard.

It is my intention to explain to you how I have been able to get away with cheating on my girlfriend over the past 6 months.  A quasi penance from a mildly guilty conscious, if you will. For the remainder of this article, you will be taken inside my head as I go about my daily routine while trying to cover my tracks so my girlfriend doesn’t find out.

Here is some background information for reference:  I am 30 years old and have a college degree.  I am currently employed and make decent (not great) money for a guy my age.  I live with my 31 year old girlfriend of 4 years.  She has her college degree as well and works full time.  I have been cheating on her for the past 6 months with a 22 year old girl (Kelly) I work with.   At first I was paranoid about getting caught, but as the months flew by it’s gotten so easy that I honestly don’t give it a second thought.  Oh, and Kelly has no idea I have a girlfriend.

-  Rise and shine !

It’s 9am on Saturday morning as I roll out of bed next to my still sleeping girlfriend.   Last night I told her that I was going to go out and watch a movie with my buddies (and they were instructed to cover for me, should she call).  In reality I was having sex with Kelly at her apartment.   As I am making my way towards the bathroom, I quickly scoop up the shirt/pants/underwear I went out in last night and drop them in the clothes hamper.  Have you ladies ever found one of those “static cling” freshener sheets inside your laundry hamper?  That’s a great way to automatically get rid of any scents that should not be on your boyfriends clothes.  The greatest part is that if you happen to find it, you probably won’t think twice as it kinda sorta makes sense that you found one in your laundry hamper…

I grab a washcloth and bar of soap and immediately wash my hands, neck, face and “below the waist”.  That gets rid of any incriminating odors right off the bat.  I buy manly smelling bar soap that has a hint of a musky scent to it.  It is great for covering up scents that should not be on my body.   Any brand will do, but I find the best manly smelling soap comes from the .99 cent store.  It is so god-awful smelling that I could get sprayed by a ravenous pack of skunks and still come out smelling like a rose.

I look at myself shirtless  and do a quick once-over in front of the mirror to check for any bruises or nail marks that I might have gotten the night before.   All good !   I finish up in the bathroom and crawl back into bed ready to sleep in for a few more hours.   James Bond is my bitch.

-  The Best Defense is a Great Offense.

Like most guys, I watch a lot of football games on t.v.   The football teams that win more often than not have a great offense.  I try to apply that theory intelligently when it comes time to getting in fights with my girlfriend.   During the first 2-3 years of our relationship, my girlfriend repeatedly accused me of cheating on her whenever we got into a fight.  The funny thing is that I didn’t start cheating on my girlfriend until 6 months ago.  (Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Freud).

Even though I am good at covering my tracks…there are times when I swear she knows I am up to no good.  It is around those times that I intentionally pick fights with her and make cheating accusations.

Example:   A few months ago I accidentally feel asleep at Kelley’s house on a weeknight.   Woke up the next morning to my cell phone ringing at 6am.  It was my girlfriend, wondering where in the hell I was and why wasn’t I home getting ready for work.  I told her I got too drunk to drive last night while playing pool over at Chris’s house.  It got late and I forgot to call her.  Told her I was on my way home.  After she hung up, she immediately called my friend Chris and asked to speak to me.   Chris told her that I had just pulled out of his driveway in a bloody rush to come home.   All of my guy friends know what to say and when to say it.  It’s part of the “guy code”.

So the next day was Saturday and we were at Target shopping for misc. stuff.   She still didn’t quite believe my story and that entire morning I was being given the cold shoulder.  So while we were in line waiting to check out in Target, I noticed a good looking teenage kid who was working the cash register.  Luckily the line was shorter than the one we were in so I told her to move into that lane.   As I was getting my credit card out to pay, the good looking cashier kid started to make small talk with my girlfriend.   That’s all the ammo I needed.

On our way back to my car, I purposely accused her of flirting with the good looking kid and we fought for a good portion of the morning.  Needless to say, the heat was off.   Phew.

-  Bro’s Before Hoes.

Speaking of friends….you can forget about asking your boyfriends guy friends if he is cheating on you.  That’s like walking up to a parrot and asking it to recite the Gettysburg Address. It can’t be done.   My guy friends have a prepared script of answers and know how to stick to it.   Best of all, if you do start questioning your boyfriends friends about him cheating on you….how soon do you want to bet it will be before they run and tell him?

-  American Beauty.

When I first met my girlfriend, I had the body of any given average guy out there.  Not too fat, not too skinny.  So did my girlfriend.  When I met Kelly (5′8 blonde/blue 36C, perfectly flat stomach) it was lust at first sight.   Kelly only seemed to date guys that were big, buff and had arms like cannons.  Lucky for me she thought I had a great personality and was “really cute”.    After the first night I saw her naked, I realized I had better hit up the gym and hit it up fast.  I started working out 3-4 times a week hoping to get my 6pac and chest and arms buffed out before the end of summer.   My girlfriend was all for it and even suggested which protein supplements I should take.   Win-win situation !

-  Secret Agent Man

Text messages, emails and cell phones can leave a very incriminating trail.  So what’s a cheating boyfriend to do?  Cover Your Ass.   Since I work with Kelly, it doesn’t make any sense to text message/email or call her on the phone.  I simply come into work and occasionally bump into her in the hallway or break room.  Our coworkers have no idea as we treat each other like anyone else in the office.  Whenever it comes time for a booty call later that night, she simply walks over to my desk and places a unopened soda can on top of my inbox and vice versa.  If for whatever reason said booty call cannot take place, the soda is simply returned to her desk.

What about the weekends/holidays/random horny times when you aren’t at work ?

For the past 6 months I have been getting phone calls from a collection agency looking for a dude by the name of “Bob”.  My name is Matt !!   Sometimes my girlfriend picks up my cell phone when it is ringing from a blocked number.  The professionally sounding girl on the other end of the line identifies herself as “Shaniqua, from XYZ collection agency” and goes on a little spiel about how “not paying your bills can adversely affect your credit“.     Sometimes, I call that number back and tell them to “take me off your calling list or I will report you to the FTC”. Those are the times when I don’t go to Kelly’s house for sex.   Read in between the lines if that doesn’t make sense.

I’m going to give you ladies a free tip.  I cover my ass pretty good, but I’m sure there are guys out there who don’t.  Perform a Google search on your boyfriends email address, chat screen names and any identifiable piece of information about him you can think of.   Chances are if he went online to the car forums that he belongs to and posted a topic about how “I’m so over my current relationship” and asked for advice…..Google will have caught it in all its glory for you to read in the search results.  Google is very powerful and you should learn how to perform advanced searches.  You would be surprised what you can find with a little due diligence.  If you are certain that he is cheating on you via his home computer, perform a search engine query for the term “keylogger”.  When the FBI kicks down your front door, you didn’t get the idea from me.

Cell phone/Credit card bills (in print and online):  All of my passwords on my computer are changed once a month.  My emails/etc are locked down tighter than Fort Knox.  Cell phone bills?  I checked the “do not receive paper bills” for my AT&T wireless bill.  My iPhone has a “lock” feature to it where a 4 digit passcode must be entered prior to unlocking the phone.  Again, all ways of covering my tracks.

-  The-Low-Ride-er-is-a-Little-Higher…

Sometimes Kelly and I go out together on the town.  Yes it is very risky, but hell…when the words “I can has cheezburgerz?” come out my mouth at 2am on a Friday night, I’m having myself a cheezburger.  Kelly is 5′8 tall and weighs about 110 pounds.   My girflriend is 5′2 tall and weigh a little more.   So every time Kelly gets into my passenger seat, she has to move the seat back a bit and adjust the headrest etc.   I drive a 8 year old Audi and it has programmable seats so all I need to do is just push a little button and the seat goes back to the normal position.

I also ask my girlfriend to help me keep my car clean.  That means she cannot leave her shit in my backseat, including but not limited to:  Hairbrushes, purses, chick cd’s, anything that would give any indication that another female had been in my car.   I swear, most women have never heard the phrase:  A man’s car is his castle.

- Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign…

Women are adept at picking up “signs”.  Any slight deviation from the norm and their little ears perk up like cute little bunny rabbits, sharp forked tounges ready at the draw to nag us men to insanity.    With that being said, I keep my routines/schedules/etc to-a-“T”.   I make sure to let her know exactly when I’m going out, who I’m going out with and how long I will be gone for.  This takes all of the guesswork out of it for her.   Think back to when a certain dimwit was in office…whenever public opinion about him went down, the “terror alert” mysteriously went up.   Same goes for me.  Whenever I feel that my girlfriend might suspect something, I force-feed her pre-packaged information to let her know that I’m being the best possible boyfriend that I can be.   Halo over my head !   (pitchfork behind my back).

That’s pretty much about it.   The point I’m trying to make here is that if your boyfriend is determined enough, he will get away with whatever he wants.   If you suspect your boyfriend of cheating, it can be very hard if not impossible to prove such things.  You ladies cheat just as much as us guys do….and I’m sure more than a few of you get away with it right under your boyfriends nose.

- Matt K.

—————————————————————————————————————-

- edit by Karen:  Matt sent me this article 2 weeks ago.   Good thing I waited until today to post it.  Apparently there has been an update in his situation.  Read on:

…I was busted last week.   My (now ex) girlfriend apparently had one of her guy friends that I didn’t know follow me out one night.  Told her I was going to Chris’s house when in reality I was making a beeline to Kelly’s apartment.   I don’t know the exact details, but from the bits and pieces that I garnered, he started following me 1 block from where I live.  When I got to Kelly’s house, he took a picture of my car and of me at her front doorstep.   This is where it gets a bit strange…..apparently he went into her backyard (she lives in a duplex apartment) and through the windows took a few more photos of me and Kelly getting it on.  I was confronted by my girlfriend last week and busted out with the “3 D” defense…you know:  Deny, Deny, Deny.   After about an hour of putting me on the hotspot, I thought I had gotten away with it….until her guy friend showed up at our front door with pictures in hand.

Just goes to show you that no matter how good and how determined you think you are….chances are that someone better and more determined (in his case, his girlfriend) will come along and expose you for the cheating scumbag that you are.    – Karen

Inside the mind of a cheating boyfriend is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Over the course of any given month, I get about 40-50 emails from people asking me for dating advice. Lately I have been noticing a trend amongst the females in which they are not able to get guys to respond to their emails. For illustration purposes, I am going to use my friend Sally who came to me with the exact same problem last week.

Sally is a very attractive 26 year old. She has a good job and comes from a great family. She is funny and witty and the exact type of girl that any guy would dream of dating. With one exception…

In the past week and a half, she has emailed about 15 different guys and not one has responded to her request for communication. I took a look at her personality profile, then took a look at her emails and found the root cause of the problem. I asked her to write an email to one of her matches, but not send it.

She gave me her permission to cut and paste the email into this post:

“Hi John ! I just got back from Pilates class and I’m tired. Work was just out of hand today…Had 3 meetings and the second one caused me to be late for the third one. Oh well, I shouldn’t complain because for the past 4 years I have been working towards this promotion and I guess it comes with the territory. After work I had exactly 30 minutes to drop my car off at the dealership before Pilates class began. The girl at the rental car place was taking her sweet time and the printer was malfunctioning so by the time I got out of there I was already 15 minutes late to class.

I guess this is just one of those days for me !

Well, hope you had a great day and ttyl !”

- Sally

Ok, so what we have here on the surface is a seemingly innocuous looking email from Sally to a guy named John. In it, she describes her hectic day and how nobody/nothing was on time. That nice….if “John” was the brand name of a diary that she picked up at Staples instead of a live human being.

When John reads this email, what is he going to think/say? I would consider myself a master linguist and even I would have a hard time responding to that email. Sally gave John nothing to go off of. She basically treated him as if he was her personal diary. This is extremely impersonal and basically says to John:

“Hey, I’m the center of attention here and TMZ and the Paparazzi should be following me around with a t.v. crew and camera to document the most mundane events in my life.” See you at 6:30pm on Fox Channel 11 right after the Simpsons !!

This email is a clear red flag to John that she might be somewhat self absorbed (perhaps a bit shallow) and atrocious at interpersonal communication skills. I have known Sally for almost 10 years and she does not fit into one of those categories. Sally is relatively new to online dating and doesn’t realize that there is an unwritten code of conduct when it comes to writing emails. I pointed this out to her and she told me that she really couldn’t think of anything interesting to say….

Sally met John through eHarmony. I told her that it was inexcusable that she could not think of anything interesting to say to him. Had she been a member of one of the “lower end” online dating services, wherein all you have to go off of is a cheesy picture and a couple of paragraphs of “about me” then I could plausibly understand….but not with eHarmony.

In a nutshell, before you are given the option to freely communicate with your matches on eHarmony, you must first go through something called “guided communication” wherein you have to choose 4 questions to send to your match. eHarmony already gives you the questions (or you can ask your own) and all your match has to do is respond to those questions either in their own words or pre-answers that eHarmony lists.

So before you get to the point where you can freely communicate back and forth in the eHarmony system, you have already gotten to know quite a bit about the other person. There is a ton of information that you can use to compose a very well written, thoughtful email to your matches on eHarmony.

I told Sally that she should have gone back to those Q&A “guided communication” section and pulled a couple of good questions from his answers. She could have asked him to expand upon his love for dining and cooking. She could have asked him where he plans on traveling this year since he told her that he loves to travel internationally. In the end, I took a look at her guided communication with John and created a sample email that she SHOULD have sent him in the first place:

“Hey John ! Well, we finally made it to open communication ! So tell me a bit more about your love for cooking….what’s your favorite cooking style? Mine is Italian. I don’t cook as often as I like to due to my sometimes hectic work schedule, but when I do I love to make the same pasta dishes that my Grandmother brought here from the old country. Any plans on going out of the country this year? I just got back from Hawaii a few months ago (for work). I haven’t been outside the country but am starting to do some research on flights as I would love to go to Italy this summer.

Anyways, hope you had a great day and talk to you soon !”

- Sally

The above email was short and sweet, yet to the point. In it, there are many topics of discussion that John can “pull from” to reply back with a great response. Trust me, if a man is into you….and you send him an email that is similar to what I just wrote, he will have no problem composing a great reply.

That email did not give out any irrelevant information about Sally (that would raise a red flag in John’s mind). Sally instead greeted him, picked out two things to further expand upon (that they briefly spoke about via “guided communication”) and then said her goodbye. Sally did not come off as desperate, needy, clingy or gave off any sort of red flags that would send John packing for the hills. It did however give John much information to pull from when he writes his reply back to Sally.

Long emails are fine….just not for the first 3 or 4 times you communicate. Long winded emails are a very good indication of chemistry and attraction, but when you start throwing out irrelevant information from the get-go, you are only scaring people away.

How to write a GREAT online dating email on eHarmony is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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…we somehow wound up in my bedroom. We were both heavily intoxicated and we wound up having sex. It was honestly the best sex I have had since….I honestly cannot remember when. After a few months of seeing each other (including a 3 some with his 20 year old friend) it kind of fizzled out. It was at this point I had apparently made a name for myself and had several young men in their late teens/early 20’s that were wanting to date me.

ODM: I see….so what exactly was it about 18 and 19 year old guys that did it for you?

Debra: At first it was the excitement of it all….then after a while it was really more about convenience than anything else. Everything was light and breezy….no pressure, no having to stress about going out or dealing with “issues” that most single men my age have. I did not need a man to take care of me financially, so that really only left one particular area that needed to be serviced.

ODM: What did your friends think?

Debra: I hang out with a loosely knit group of 30-40 year old professional women. We used to think of ourselves as the “LA version” of Sex and the City. Having a 19 year old boytoy by my side was just like rocking the latest Prada handbag. It was the one fashion accessory that most women my age could not get because Father Time had not been as kind to them as he was to me. A few of my friends who had sons that were 18 and 19 years old did frown upon it a bit but I paid them no attention. “Jealousy” was the first word that crossed my mind whenever someone said something negative…

ODM: So after the initial excitement died down….when did you start taking interest in seriously dating younger men for a committed relationship?

Debra: I would say probably after the first year or so. I only dated 4 guys in that period of time, and all were brief flings. I was at one of the local bars down in Newport Beach with a group of girlfriends. There was this one young man, impeccably dressed….and he had this air of confidence to himself that is normally found in professional men in their 50’s and 60’s. He was the one who approached me and we spent the entire night together drinking and dancing. He asked for my phone number at the end of the night and I really didn’t give it any second thought. I was not expecting him to call me back. Sure enough a few days later my phone rings and he was asking me out to dinner. One thing led to another and in a few short weeks we were boyfriend girlfriend. During the entire course of that relationship, it became very clear to me that dating younger men was the only way to go. An older man could NOT possibly give me everything this 25 year old had to offer. Great body, hot looks, funny, charming, not jaded, no ex-wife/alimony/child support baggage…..Just a great human being that loved to go out and enjoy life. Isn’t that what we are all looking for?

ODM: Are you still dating him?

Debra: No, it ended after about 8 months for reasons that I would rather not get into. We are still very good friends and I care a lot about him.

ODM: Are you single now?

Debra: Yes.

ODM: Where do you go to find younger men? How do you go about approaching them without it turning into a potentially awkward moment?

Debra: Well, truth be told….there have been no awkward moments when it comes to picking up younger guys. If I’m out at a trendy bar or even at the supermarket I can tell right off the bat that they are into me. If I can compare men to books for a minute…..the “older” men in their 40’s and 50’s are kind of like an advanced Trigonometry math book. Hard as hell to understand their motives/intentions and even harder to force myself to like. Younger men in their late teens/early 20’s are kind of like a Dr. Seuss book. Fun, entertaining and by just looking at the cover of the book, you already know what it’s about. Hop on Pop; Green Eggs and Ham, Thank you Ma’am.

When a 20 year old guy is staring at you from across the way, it is a pretty forgone conclusion that he wants to talk to you. Most guys that age are typically shy and as such I find myself being the one having to initiate conversation and breaking the ice. These same guys have told me that it was so easy to talk to me and that they felt very comfortable from the minute I walked over there and started to chit-chat. They also have told me that it is not the same way when it comes to talking to women their own age.

ODM: Let’s talk about the “S” word for a minute….

Debra: (nervous laugh)

ODM: “Sugar Mommy”. Do you find that most younger guys expect you to pay their way and shower them with gifts and whatnot?

Debra: Honestly? No. Most guys that age are poor, broke college students and are somewhat shy about going out because they feel that they have to pay because they are the guy. I make it a point to let them know from the start that I realize that they are just starting out in life and I have no problem footing the bill most (read: all) of the time. They seem to like it. My last boyfriend was a sophomore in college and was working as a waiter making minimum wage and tips. I think that amounted to a little under $250 a week in take-home. I took him out one weekend to South Coast Plaza (an affluent mall located in Orange County, Ca. – Karen) and bought him $2500.00 worth of new clothes. About half of that was spent on dress clothes. I would also give him $500 a week in cash to spend on food/etc. Life is tough when you are in your early 20’s, going to school and working a crap job. I had the means to support him and I also cared very deeply for him….so why not?

ODM: Where there ever any indications that he was just using you for sex and money?

Debra: Never did that thought occur to me. You can pretty much tell within the first few dates if it is going to turn into a real relationship or just some fling. I’m over the “flings” and am looking for a real relationship.

ODM: Have you ever tried an online dating service?

Debra: I am currently a member of 2 online dating services. There seems to be one in particular that for whatever reason attracts younger men looking to date older women. With online dating, it is very easy to weed out the good ones from the bad ones and at the end of the night I’m not stuck with a $150 bar tab and a hangover the next morning.

ODM: So where do you see yourself in 5-10 years from now?

Debra: In a loving, committed relationship with a man 15-20 years my junior. I realize that society in general is becoming more liberal and accepting than it was 20 years ago. Although, there are still people out there who frown upon my choice of lifestyle. I realize this and as such try to keep my dating preferences a secret as much as I can. At the end of the day and when it is all said and done, all that matters is that you are spending the night with the person that makes you happy the most.

ODM: Do you have any thoughts for young men/older women who are looking to try dating each other?

Debra: Sure.

Younger men: If it is just a sexual fantasy to “hook up” with an older woman, and you have no further intentions in life than that, please let them know from the beginning. Even though we are a bit “older”, we still have feelings. If you are looking for a relationship, be honest and treat us with respect. We have a lot to offer you (more than most women your age) and you will soon come to find out just how rewarding it is to be dating a woman that is older than you.

Cougars: This is it ladies. We have finally come to a point in life where we don’t need a man our age to take care of us financially. We are tired of the b.s. that is sometimes associated with dating men our own age. Be proud of the fact that you are a liberated, strong female and empower yourself in your daily life. When you are dating younger men, realize that even though they are younger, they are still men. There are good apples and there are bad apples. Keep your eyes open, and feet on the ground and when you do finally find that special guy you will find yourself experiencing a richness in life in ways you never thought imaginable.

Interview with a Cougar Part 3 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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In the past few weeks I have gotten more than a few
emails requesting that I post the entire interview. The interview
is quite long and thorough, so I have broken it up into 2 parts.
The first part (the part below) is an introduction. You will get
to know the “cougar” and her background story. The second
part picks up where the first part left off.

(I am using false names for the various people mentioned in this
story to protect their identity.)

ODM: Hello Debra, thank you for taking the
time to sit down and chat with me.

Debra: Hello Karen.

ODM: So let’s get right into it. Why don’t you
start off by telling our readers a little bit about yourself?

Debra: Well, I am a 47 years old and have been
divorced now for a little over 8 years. I have 2 teenage daughters
(18 and 19) and live in what I would consider a middle class
neighborhood. I received my M.B.A. from a local University,
although I put my career on hold to raise my family. I now sell real
estate here in Southern California.

ODM: Would you consider yourself a “successful
female”?

Debra: Lol, yes I guess you can say so. It took a
lot of hard work to get to where I am at right now in life and my
ex-husband was of little to no help. Once the divorce was final,
I set out to reclaim the life I had envisioned I would have, prior
to getting married.

ODM: So tell me a bit more about your dating
experiences after your divorce.

Debra: Like most females who find themselves
thrust back into the dating scene after a long marriage, I had
somewhat of a hard time meeting what I would consider “the right guy”.
I did the bar scene, went out on a few atrocious blind dates set up by
well meaning friends and none of those really panned out.

It was funny…the same type of guys that I dated prior to getting
married were just not doing it for me anymore. I got tired of hearing
the same old stories from guys my age….they either talked nonstop
about their divorce or their kids. Older guys also seemed to be a bit
jaded on dating as well as their schedules were unnecessarily complicated
with child custody time issues, ex wives and long hours at the office.

ODM: So is this when you decided to start dating
younger men?

Debra: I never really saw it as a conscious choice to
start dating younger men. The majority of the guys I dated after my
divorce were in their mid-to-late 40’s. I even went out with a few 60
year olds. It seemed as if each and every one of these guys were stuck
in a time warp. They pretty much listened to the same type of music,
dressed the same way and lived the same boring lifestyle. They seemed
to go on and on about their ex’s and their divorce, or I would have to sit
through an hour long presentation about their illustrious careers and how
great they were.

I was on a mission to find myself, to regain my individuality. This was not
going to be accomplished by sitting home on a Saturday night or going out
on yet another boring dinner date only to be taken back to his place and
have to “wait a few” before the Viagra starts kicking in.

ODM: Did the physical characteristics of “older”
men in their 40’s turn you off?

Debra: Honestly? Yes. A big fat beer belly and hair
where there should not be any hair just wasn’t doing it for me. Not to
mention most men over 40 tend to let themselves go physically. They
don’t take the time to work out like younger men do. After the divorce,
I found myself needing more physical contact from a man than ever before.

ODM: Tell me about your first experience with
dating a younger man.

Debra: You are going to change my name on here?

ODM: I will change it prior to publishing this interview.

Debra: About 2 years ago my 18 year old daughter
was planning on going to a party with some of her college friends.
The parents of the person having the party were out of town.
This would be the first party that she attended (to my knowledge)
in college. If the kids nowadays are anything like how we were
back in the 70’s….I knew there would be alcohol and quite possibly
drugs at the party. I suggested that she have a small get-together
at our house instead. That way I could at least cut out the drugs
part of the equation. I knew that the teenagers would find a way
to get drunk so I made the decision to allow alcohol at the party,
provided that everyone who was drinking would spend the night.
I know I am going to get some flak for allowing this…but I would rather have
the kids drinking at my place and sleeping it off on my couch than getting
into a car and driving drunk. This way, I could also monitor alcohol
consumption of the teenagers.

The night went off considerably well, no major incidents. There were
about 15 college students in total that showed up. I spent a good
portion of the night playing hostess and even joined the kids at the
table for a game of poker. I don’t quite remember the rest of the
details, but there was this 18 year old named Brian (name changed – Karen)
who was the life of the party. He was being a bit flirtatious with all the
girls (including myself) and I think I might have reciprocated here and
there. As the night drew on, one thing led to another and we somehow
wound up…

I have split this interview into 2 posts. The entire interview
is well over 2500 words and as such is kind of hard to read in one
long post. Click below to continue to the third and final part of
Interview with a Cougar.

Interview with a Cougar, Part 3

Interview with a Cougar Part 2 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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1. Interview with a Cougar Part 3
2. Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women)

I would like to take a few minutes to explain the process
as to why purchasing a 6 or 12 month eHarmony subscription
increases your chances at finding the love of your life or
even your soul mate for that matter.

They offer a free .
eHarmony designed this personality profile based
upon academic and scientific research and due to ongoing
human compatibility findings, they are constantly updating
the algorithm. This means that the people that eHarmony
matches you up with are compatible with you based upon
29 dimensions. There really isn’t any other system out there
that can do what eHarmony can.

Just because you are compatible with someone, does not necessarily
mean that they are your soulmate. Think of how many guys or girls
you have dated in the past where you both were like two peas in
a pod….but true love never manifested itself.

By signing up for a 1 or 3 month eHarmony subscription you are
basically limiting yourself to a short time using their compatibility
system. Do you honestly think you are going to find “the one”
in as short as a couple of week? It would be nice, and in fact
that is what we all want….to quickly find someone so we won’t
feel alone anymore. But the truth of the matter is that is wishful
thinking. Good things in life take time, dating is no different.

eHarmony will not only introduce you to highly compatible singles
(and perhaps your soul mate) but going through the process on
eHarmony will also allow you to enter into a self-discovery mode,
especially if you don’t date that much. You need to know yourself
and what you want BEFORE you can unconditionally give yourself
to someone in a relationship.

I have talked to many people who have met on eHarmony and have
gotten married and their stories are quite similar. They joined eHarmony
for 6 or 12 months and went out on more than 1 date. After a short
while they got the hang of it and were quickly and easily able to pick
out the person whom they felt an unbridled chemistry with.

Good things in life come to those who wait.

How to succeed on eHarmony is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. How to overcome low self-esteem and succeed in dating

I recently interviewed a female that most guys in their
20’s refer to as a “Cougar”. In case you aren’t
familiar, a “Cougar” is a female that is in her 40’s and
generally looks very good for her age and typically dates
men in their 20’s.

During the interview, I tried to figure out why a female
in her 40’s would be attracted towards a younger man.
It seemed as if the topic of “sex” was a recurring theme.
Duh !!

Here are 5 reasons (according to a self-admitted Cougar)
as to why men in their 20’s should date a female in her 40’s:

1. 40-50 year old men just can’t f#@% us good enough

Face it. Most guys in their 40’s and 50’s just can’t lay pipe
like they used to. These things happen. Some guys try to
make up for it by popping a few Viagra pills….ok, you got
the car started….but how long can the little engine
that could, keep it up? As some guys get older, their
stamina gets weaker. Pretty soon…..what once used to be
the Mighty Casey Jones, barreling down the train tracks, 8 track
player blasting in the wind, is now nothing more than a miniature
train ride at a local country fair. Atchison, Topeka and the
Santa Fe, you are not.

2. That “one thing” that your 20 year old girlfriend does…

…is nothing compared to what 30 some-odd years of experience
in the bed can do for you. That “one thing” that your 20-something
girlfriend performs so well in bed is nothing more than a cheap card
trick to a 40 year old female. Child’s play….not even worthy of
being featured on “stupid human tricks” on David Letterman.

3. Sugar mommy, anyone?

Allow me to propose two scenarios:

1. It’s Friday night and your 20 year old girlfriend wants to be
taken out on a night out on the town. Dinner….dancing…drinks
maybe even a late night stop at a local bar and grill for a snack.
Guess who is going to foot the bill? You and your $12 an hour
college job.

2. It’s Friday night and the hot 40 year old woman that you have
been dating/talking to wants to go out. She picks you up in her
car, then proceeds to take you out for dinner and dancing and
whatever else. Guess who is going to foot the bill?
Guess who will also slip a $100 bill in your pocket so that you can
buy lunch/etc while you are attending college courses next week?

Women in their 20’s: Causing men to go flat ass broke for centuries.

I rest my financial case.

4. No Strings Attached !!

Generally speaking, a cougar isn’t going to be calling you
10 times a day….asking you “how your day is coming along”.
They aren’t going to send you text message after text message
bothering you on an almost hourly basis. 40 year old women
aren’t going to follow you out when you go drinking with your
buddies and they won’t get pissed if you are seen talking to
a random female at the bar.

All a 40 year old female asks is that you be at her house and
in her bed when you say you will be.

Is that too much to ask?

5. You’ll be the envy of your friends.

Most guys nowadays talk about wanting to hook up with
that hot “MILF”. In fact, if you really want to score some
points with your buddies, find another guy in your circle
of immediate friends who you don’t particularly care for.
Make sure his mom is single (I don’t condone cheating btw)
and hook up with her. Nothing says “Screw you, dude” better
than you and his Mom walking down to the kitchen together
at 7am while he is sitting at the breakfast table eating a box
of Captain Crunch. Talk about a “Kodak Moment”…..

Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Interview with a Cougar Part 2
2. Interview with a Cougar Part 3
3. Why guys need to get creative when taking a girl out on a date

The reason I am posting this is because it is currently
Saturday night and (yet again) I am sitting home. Alone.
No date on the horizon. Hopefully, this little list of
quotes about being single will find some other soul out
there on the internet who is sitting home alone. Some
of these quotes are from famous people, others are just
quotes that were passed along to me. Still others I made
up as I went along. You’d be surprised what a few glasses
of wine does for inspiration…

So before you get any further depressed….just realize
that you aren’t alone. MILLIONS of singles are sitting
home alone tonight. Maybe even your future soulmate
or next boyfriend or girlfriend will be reading this list
at the same time you are….?

1. “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” - Wendy Liebman

2. “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” - Sex in the City

3. “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night.” - Woody Allen

4. “Being single isn’t bad. What is bad is giving up hope on finding
that someone special.” – Anonymous

5. “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already
three parts dead.” – Bertrand Russell

6. “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer
somewhere else.” - Mae West

7. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” - Billy Crystal

8. “I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.” - Garry Shandling

9. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile.”
- Mae West

10. “Live to love, not love to live.” - Anonymous

11. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

12. “Being single is not the end of the world. What is the end of the
world is when you stop trying to find your next boyfriend/girlfriend/soulmate.” - Anthony D.

13. “Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.” - Jim Bishop

14. “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” - Mae West

15. “It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.” - Sex and the City

16. “Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.”
- Anonymous

17. “Love is two minds without a single thought.” - Phillip Barry

18. “I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.” - Delta Burke

19. “I think, therefore I’m single.” - Liz Winston

20. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs bicycle”
- Anonymous

21. “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.” - Sex in the City

22. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

23. “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” - Lao Tzu

24. “A man needs a woman….well, a man needs a woman.” - Anonymous

25. “As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.” – Hermann Hesse

26. “I’m happily single.” - Paula Abdul

27. “About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.” - Judy Carter

28. “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.” – Lynn Lavner

29. “Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” - Sharon Stone

30. “Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” - Robin Williams

31. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” - Rod Stewart

32. “Do you believe in computer dating?”
“Only if the computers really love each other.” - Groucho Marx

33. One good thing about Internet dating: you’re guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. - Anonymous

34. My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. - Michelle Landry

35. “A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows.”
- Monica Piper

36. “You aren’t the only one sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Wonder if
your future boyfriend/girlfriend is doing the same thing you are…” - Me

Quotes About Being Single is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. What are the Disadvantages of Being Single?

“Because I don’t know what to say to to women when I first
meet them”.

Over the course of my professional career, I have noticed this
“phenomena” in many males. They instantly freeze up around
a pretty girl they are attracted to, their minds go blank and they
can’t think of anything to say.

I want you to take a minute to stop and think back to the past 30
days of your life. How many times were you out in public, at work
or at a social function and saw a girl that you were attracted to?
Did you walk over there and try to strike up a conversation or did
you find yourself staring at the girl from afar multiple times….to the
point that she noticed the staring and when you both made eye
contact, she gave you a dirty look because she thought you were
creepy….and then most likely you took this personally as if there
was something wrong with you, only adding to your low self-confidence
and lack of self esteem.

This is the #1 reason as to why guys set themselves up for failure
and start on a downward spiral towards low self esteem when it
comes to talking to women.

There really isn’t a set formula for what to say to a girl you just met.
You have to understand that when you first approach a girl, she is
most likely going to be as uncomfortable as you are. She was not
expecting you to walk over and start picking her up. This is another
critical area where most guys fail…..they walk up to a girl with the
specific intention of picking her up. Even if they don’t ramble off
cheesy pickup lines, the girl can still sense that they are just out
to get a number. In some cases like a bar or a club, this might be
perfectly normal, but in normal everyday situations it needs to be
tackled from a different approach.

The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath, and relax
your mind. If you aren’t feeling comfortable with yourself then
it will show up on the outside. Then you need to realize that
your only intention is to get the girl to talk to you. That’s it.
Then approach her with a smile on your face (not a creepy smile)
and simply say “Hi”.

Here are 5 tips on how to talk to women for the first time:

1. Breaking the ice
My cousin from Australia was in town and we went over
to Starbucks for a coffee one night. The barista that was
working was this really cute (early 20’s) blonde girl that
always had this really bad look on her face….the kind of
look that would make most guys think twice about walking
up to her and striking up a conversation.

As we were waiting for her to make our drinks, my cousin
saw that she looked stressed/whatever and simply asked
her “How is your day going?”. That was all it took. The
nasty look on her face disappeared and was immediately
replaced with smile. They talked for about 15 minutes
(while I was waiting impatiently) and at the end he got
her number.

2. Keep the topic of conversation to “about her”
Most people love talking about themselves. If you are having
a hard time finding things to talk about to a girl, simply ask
her questions that pertain to herself. Most women will take
the ball and run with it. All you have to do is listen and
she will subconsciously give you even more topics to talk about.
Simple as that.

3. Be yourself
Unless you are an actor chances are that you aren’t good at
fooling other people into thinking you are anybody else other
than yourself. Same goes for women. Don’t try to come
off as a suave smooth talker. Don’t try to show off for her,
or pretend that you are someone you are not. Women
have this ability to pick up on the small things that just don’t
seem right to them…..including a guy pretending to be someone
he is not. The only person that you are fooling is yourself.

4. Stay relaxed
This is probably one of the hardest things for guys to do. Even
though it might now show up on the outside (physical) if you
don’t stay relaxed it will manifest itself in your tone of voice
or other subconscious instances. I tell people who have this
issue to try to take 5-10 minutes every night and meditate.
Close your eyes and just let yourself relax and breathe deep.
Over the course of a month you will begin to realize a much
more calmer demeanor. I am not a meditation expert, so
I advise people to start off by buying a book or two on the
subject. “Meditation for Dummies” (I have no idea if this
book actually exists) would be a great start.

5. Tone of voice and speech.
Even though some guys are shy by nature, some of them
are very good at covering it up…..except when it comes to
the tone of their voice. This is a dead giveaway to women
that you are nervous/bullshitting/don’t know what you are
talking about. Practice your speech by talking to random
people on a daily basis and when it comes time to talk to
a girl, focus on speaking slowly and clearly. Don’t worry,
you won’t come off as a “mentally slow” person.

5 tips on how to talk to women (and not put your foot in your mouth) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. How to Talk to Women if You are Shy and Nervous
2. How to pickup women 101
3. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You

After a few days he told me that he should have seen the warning
signs as they were really evident. He was just so in love with her
that he refused to pay attention to what the rest of his friends
have been trying to tell him all along.

So this post is dedicated to my bro and the cheating ho that used
him for the past 9 months of his life. Hopefully this will help some
other guy out there see the writing on the wall before it is too late.

CAVEAT: This is just a general guide. There are so many variables
out there in life that you should NOT take this guide to heart. Just
because your girlfriend gets a phone call from a strange guy you don’t
know does not necessarily mean she is setting up a booty call for later
that night. What if that phone call was her boss from work asking her
to email him the TPS reports she didn’t finish the day before?

1. Things just don’t add up.
When you are in love with someone, or at the very least infatuated,
you tend to overlook logic because you are swept up in emotion.
I read somewhere that scientists have likened the human mental
emotion of “love” to that of being drunk. If you have ever been in
love you know how powerful of a feeling it is. With that being said,
you need to keep one foot on the ground and eyes and ears open
at all times, even if you trust her implicitly. This is just good common
sense.

Let me put it another way:

If I walked up to your girlfriend right this minute and told her that if she
would dump you and never speak to you again, I would give her 1 million
dollars in small, unmarked bills. Honestly. Do you really and truly think
she would stay with you?

What if Brad Pitt (or whoever the latest Hollywood Heartthrob is nowadays)
met your chick in a bar and started hitting on her…..and asked her back to
your place? Guess who’s getting laid that night.

These are some very extreme examples, but it just goes to show that you cannot
implicitly and blindly trust someone to the point where you have your head up
your ass all of the time.

2. Checking out other guys in public
Ok, #1 pretty much summed it all up. You need to keep your eyes open
at all times. The remainder of these “signs” are a few traits that my buddy
noticed in his ex girlfriend. On more than one occasion when they were
both out in public, he noticed her checking out other guys…..not a sly
“checkout” like most women are able to do (and get away with) but rather
she was catching the eyes of the guy she was looking at and holding the
gaze.

3. Mysterious cell phone calls
I’m probably going to get in a boatload of trouble for saying this….but
do you know every single guy/phone number that is on your girlfriend’s
cell phone? Yes, you should respect the privacy of the one you are
with ….blah blah blah……morals…..blah blah blah…..trust. Ok, are
we off our moral soapbox now? If you start to suspect anything, her
cell phone is one of the first places you can look. I would not advise
going this route unless you have mounting evidence that she is cheating
on you. This is the best way to confirm that suspicion. Check with
an attorney before you do it though…

4. Emails/Twitter/instant messenger/text messages
In this day and age there are so many ways to stay in contact with someone.
She could have joined an adult online dating service looking for love or she
actually could be a member of an online dating service. Without going on her
computer and going into her account, there really is no way of finding out.
What you can do, is take the first part of her email address and pop it into
Google and see what comes up.

eg: If her email address is “PinkFuzzyBunny82828@gmail.com” then take the
“PinkFuzzyBunny82828″ part and run a Google search. Believe it or not, most
people re-use the same email address/screen name over and over again when
signing up for new online services. Think about how many online accounts she
must have…..Her Myspace account, her Facebook account, her twitter account.
And so on and so forth. Google is your friend. Learn how to use the various
operators when performing a Google search. It is a VERY powerful tool if used
correctly.

5. Her friends
Women cannot keep a secret if they were rubbed down with super secret musk,
put in the middle of a field with a bunch of other horny no-secret tellers in the
middle of no-secret-telling mating season. I’m not trying to come off as sexist here,
but every single girl I have ever know could not keep from telling her girlfriends
whatever I told her. So use this to your advantage. If your girl is cheating on
you, one of the first people to know are usually her friends (or her sister). Learn
how to use social engineering to your advantage. Run a Google
search to find out just how to do it. The next time you are out with her friends,
chose your words carefully and you might get one of them to slip up.

If you aren’t currently on medication for a mental disorder and you still
got a funny feeling that “something just ‘aint right” with your girlfriend,
chances are you are right. Do what you need to do in order to confirm/deny
your suspicions so you can make a rational, intelligent decision as to
what to do next (DUMP HER). However, just because you think your
girl is screwing around on you does NOT give you the right to violate
her privacy and do illegal stuff. Be smart about how you go about
finding out the information that you are seeking.

How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you (or about to) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Inside the mind of a cheating boyfriend
2. 10 creative ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend

A few months ago I wrote my infamous post about why
girls don’t call guys back after the first date. That article
generated so much buzz that I felt it might be good to do
a follow up article. Over the past few months I have been
watching the dating lives of my single girlfriends very carefully.

These women can be described as nothing more than “Serial Daters”.
It seems as if they have a new guy every week. Aside from
being flakes and fakes, these women all have one thing in
common. They are undeniably “cute” by any guy’s standards.

Granted they are not a perfect 10, but just the same they
turn heads more often than not while walking down the street.
They are the type of “cute” girl that any average guy honestly
and truly thinks he has a chance with, and more often than not, does.

1. Your Hunting/Gathering skills suck.
If this were the “caveman” days, what kind of caveman
would you be? Would you be the type of caveman that
always has Brontosaurus meat on his table every night?
Would you be rocking the latest Gucci Tyrannosaurus Rex
shirts and skins? Is the size of your club smaller than
most other cavemen?

Not much has changed since those days. Women still look
for a guy that can provide on some level or another.
The primordial instinct is hardwired into women’s brains
to find the best caveman that can drag her by her hair
back to his cave, show her the bounty of food he has
collected and impress her with the size of his club.

2. Porno Pete
Guys, if you are out on a successful date and it somehow
winds up back at your place, take the time to hide your
computer pornography collection prior to inviting her back.
As ridiculous as it might sound, it is a somewhat common
occurrence (from the anecdotal stories I have been told)
for a guy to invite a girl over to his place, then for whatever
reason open up his laptop/desktop to go online to look up
something…..and the first thing that greets her eyes is:

“Lesbian-Nymphos.avi”

Believe it or not, that isn’t the worst “file name” that has
been accidentally seen on a guy’s computer by his date.

3. The Stand Up Comedian

And for next joke, I will put cat down pants of Senior Citizen !

Newsflash Gallagher: She is laughing AT you, not WITH you.
Don’t try to be a funny guy if you aren’t. There is a big
difference between an attempt at a joke (that falls flat on its face)
and repeated lame attempts at jokes throughout the date.
Not saying that you shouldn’t attempt to interject some
lowered form of humor during the course of normal conversation
(all women love to laugh) but when it gets to the point where
she starts to notice herself having to politely laugh repeatedly
throughout the date, it gets old fast.

4. The Old Guy
Let’s face it. What 30-something guy doesn’t want an 18
year old hot piece of ass vs. an aging jaded girl his own age?
Generally speaking women only like to date guys within a 2-5
year age range. There are many exceptions to this rule, but
I am going off personal experience and anecdotal evidence.

Trust me on this one, as a I am a 33 year old female and
have been in this same situation myself many times over.

So let’s say that you and that 22 year old girl (10 years your junior)
had a great date. So she thought you were “really cute”
and the funniest guy with the nicest car she had ever met.
So you two got along real well. Guess what? Unless you
can relegate yourself to the “friends” genre, she isn’t going
to give you a second date. 8 more years on you and you are
old enough to be her dad. Even if you somehow managed
to sweep her off her feet, you still have only won half of the
battle.

Just wait until she gets on the phone with her over-protective
girlfriends the next day and they start in on her about how
“He’s just some creepy old guy trying to get down your pants”.
Which leads us right into #5:

5. Her friends
For most women, their friends are like their mother/preacher
/counselor all rolled up into one. Women tend to look out
for their friends much more than guys do. It’s almost like
a circle of closely related sisters. So you think that the
last date you went out on was nearly perfect. Maybe you
made a faux paux or two or said one or two “interesting”
things that stuck in her mind. No worries, right?

Sure. Until she gets on the phone with her (single)
girlfriends the next day (who are probably a bit jealous
that she was lucky enough to go out on a date) . Let
the catty-ness begin !! These friends are going to
be analyzing every single word out of her mouth and
interjecting their opinions based nothing more on hearsay.
The girl who went out on a date will most likely takes
their advice at face value (no matter what) on an
almost religiously feverish level.

After all, they are friends and friends look out for each other.

One thing that I have noticed that sometimes works is to
get her to talk about her friends while out on a date.
Get a story or two to be told to you, then no matter what,
compliment that friend on whatever it is that she said/did.
This way when the phone call is made the next day, more
likely than not, that same compliment will be transmitted
to that friend, effectively neutralizing her willingness to
say anything negative. Damage control. Use it wisely.

BONUS TIP:
Probably THE most common reason why women don’t call guys back after the first date:

She felt more of a connection with the guy she went out on a date with last week than she did you.

So why didn’t she call you back? Is it because
the dating pool is bigger for her than an “average girl”,
and therefore has more options to choose from?
Is it because her standards are higher because she
has been out with almost every type of guy imaginable,
from the artsy-fartsy artist types to the up and
coming “C” level executive?

It’s hard to say.

Do you really know yourself and the person you are
coming off as? Most people really don’t know who they
come off as while out in public or meeting new people.
Sure your friends of 10 years know you well, but just
how well do you make a good first impression?

There are many free tools online that you can use to
get a good guage on your personality and how you come
across to others. One freebie that I recommend is the

What’s great about this tool is that no credit card
is required and you are no obligated to sign up.

After you are done filling it out, they will present to
you a detailed 5-6 page analysis of how other people
view you. A great tool for getting an honest look at
how you might come across to others.

5 More Reasons Why Women Won’t Call You After The First Date is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Top 10 reasons why I won’t call you after our first date
2. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You
3. Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date

My intentions on writing this post are to give a clue to the
guys that consistently fail at attracting women, or at the
very best, fail to get a second date. There are many reasons
why a female won’t call you back after the first date. It could range
from she just wasn’t attracted to you, to the simple fact that she took
one look at you and decided she would be better off in life as full
fledged lesbian.

The following 10 “types” are a compiled from a poll that I took of
over 50 women from all walks of life. I realize that women can be unfair
judgmental you-know-whats at times, as I too have been wrongly
accused of being one (or two or three) of the following types.
If you constantly fail at attracting and/or keeping a female in your
life, you need to take some time to figure out just how women view
you. More on that at the end of the article….

1. The world is my urinal cake.
This is the guy that is constantly (and literally) pissing on everything
he comes in contact with. He is the master of his domain and nothing
stands between him and what he wants. He is generally narcissistic,
rude to others, extremely competitive, and probably drives a Corvette.
His Caesar like attitude towards the world most likely stems from severe
penis envy…to the point where any man-made object over 3” is seen as
a direct threat. Women tend to run from guys like this because they know
at the end of the day, they will always play second fiddle to the image in
his bathroom mirror.

2. The Al Bundy
This is the guy that seems to be stuck in his high school glory days when
he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game….which is fine, but if you take
into consideration his next biggest accomplishment in life was to become
lead fry chef at McDonalds, probably not the best dating material.
The Al Bundies in life tend to still live in the same town they went to high
school in. They also tend to hang out with guys much younger than them
(by about 10 years). They usually seem to watch a ton of sports (shock)
and they seem to have a somewhat childish mentality. Al Bundies tend
to masturbate, a lot. (don’t laugh !! Don’t you know how hard it is
nowadays for a 30 year old man to pick up an 18 year old high
school girl ??). Al Bundies generally can be found in any local
sports bar, but for some strange reason their greatest concentration
can be found on any given weeknight at your local community college.

3. Pretty Boys

Pretty boys make Brad Pitt look like Brad Garrett. Their
hair is meticulously coiffed, eyebrows plucked, jeans way
too tight. Think of pretty boys as being one snip of the
scissors away from changing the “M” to an “F” on their
drivers license. No matter how good looking they guy is,
women tend to not want to date guys that make them
feel like they are the man in the relationship.
(unless they are into that sorta thing)

4. Pity Party Pete.

His dog just died. His boss made fun of him at work today.
The Steelers lost the SuperBowl. (what?)

There is always something wrong with poor ol’ Pete and
his girlfriend is the first that he runs to tell his problems to.

Most women want a MAN in their lives, not some sniveling
little, touchy-feely, emotional bitch. I personally don’t know
too many pretty boys in life, but I do know more than a
few guys who get emotionally clingy with girls that they
are dating. They are always telling their troubles and
problems to their girlfriends….to the point where she becomes
less of a girlfriend and more of a mommy.

5. Big Balla, Shot Calla

There is a time when skinny pencil necked white boys
are allowed to act like inner city gang bangers. This
time is called “High School”. Anyone that is not
living in the inner city and does not have an active
affiliation with a local street gang, please take
off the baggy pants, 25″ rims off your Honda Civic,
take out your gold toof and get back into reality.
There is a reason that gang bangers dress/walk/talk
they way they do. It is because they have a hard life
and are expressing themselves in their own unique
fashion. If you are not one of them, give it a break.
Nothing turns off women more than a 30 year old
grown man wearing size 50 baggy pants from the
local swapmeet yelling out “cuz” this and “fo’ sho’”
that.

6. The George Bush

Thank God/Jesus/Hare Krishnah/Buddah/Flying Spaghetti Monster
that the loser is now out of office, yes?

Just like in real life, a “G.B.” is the guy
that is completely and utterly clueless as to just
how badly he screws things up. Crashes his car
after a night of drunk driving? Most normal males would
be a bit ashamed, even remorseful. Not dear ol’ Dubya.
He wakes up the next morning with a huge goofy grin
on his face and proceeds to play Super Mario Kart on the
Wii. Life is too short to care about anything or anyone
else than your own self. He just doesn’t give a shit,
why should you?

Hell, why not invade the local elementary school and
lay claim to their swings, sandbox and monkey bars ?? !!
I’m sure the G.B.’s in life could make a good case by claiming
that little 7 year old Timmy had stockpiled weapons of
mass destruction in the form of water balloons and
a carton of 2 week old rotten eggs.

(someone please have an attorney email me for legal
advice regarding the above posting….The past 8 years
have really raised some doubts in my head regarding my
freedoms as an American citizen and I am not quite sure
if I legally have the right to express my political opinions
in the form of satire anymore…)

8. You wanna get hiiiiigh, maaaaaaan?
(does Howdie-Doodie got wooden balls?)

In this day and age, you would probably be hard-pressed
to find someone who hasn’t puffed on a fat doobie at least
once (or twice) in their lives. I know there are many people out
there who haven’t “taken the pot” and if so, good for you.
You should probably go back to your elementary school teacher
who told you to “Just Say No” and ask for an award or something.
I am not condoning pot use, as I don’t smoke it myself, but I do
know of people that do on a semi-regular basis (read: every waking
breath). I can tell you from my second hand
(no pun intended) experience that these pothead have a
REALLY hard time at keeping a girlfriend. Most women have
dated a pot head once in their lives, and that was enough.
Most women see pot heads as lazy losers who …..well…..
just sit around and smoke pot all day.

9. Mr. complainer

This guy bitches moans and complains more than an 80
year old man with a hemorrhoid the size of a dinner plate
stuck up his ass. Nothing is right for this guy and no matter
what you do or say, he will always find something to
complain about. The thing about complainers is that they
are usually aware of their actions and try to hide them
from a potential date until they really get to know them.
A good way to find out of the guy you are dating is a
“complainer” is to simply look for the little clues…..
Some of the early warning signs of a complainer:

1. Road Rage when driving
2. Always seems to have a slight negative attitude
3. Is usually an “internet tough guy”. If you see a bunch
of computer geeks preparing a lynching party outside
your home, run fast. Internet tough guys generally
go hand-in-hand with Mr. Complainers. They usually
belong to many different chat board forums and are
always talking smack to other people, trying to make
themselves look tougher.

10. Inspector Gadget

This guy has every single electronic gadget known to man.
iPhone 3g this, High Definition that, his entire apartment
can double for a Best Buy showroom with the amount
of computers and cables strewn about. These types of
guys not only piss their money away on useless electronic
crap, but spend the majority of their time accumulating
even more electronic crap that they don’t need.

They somehow think that they will impress a girl with how
many pixels their new High Def. t.v. has, and tend to
get slightly butt-hurt when the girl indifferently nods
her head when he is explaining the advantages of
1080i vs. 720p resolution on a plasma t.v. screen.
Generally speaking, women find all of this stuff to be
completely boring and in reality, are just happy that
you have a roof over your head and that the t.v. you
are both about to sit down to watch a movie on is in
Technicolor. It is usually a pissing contest between
these types of guys to see who has the latest and
greatest electronic gear.

——————————————————————-
So how do we as guys figure out how females who
we just met tend to view us?

The exercise here is to actively seek out potential
negatives that females could plausibly come to a
conclusion about you and nip them in the butt
(the conclusions) before another girl makes a rash
decision about you and decides not to pursue a
relationship.

Take the free
and then compare the results as to how you see yourself.

Might be in for a big shock…

The eHarmony personality profile was designed to give you
a clear picture of how other people view you. You answer
several multiple choice questions and based upon your
(honest) answers, they give you a multi-page report on
your personality. It can give you a great insight into
how other people view you and will only help you to further
understand yourself.

10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 types of women that men avoid
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women)

From the women that I have spoken to, at least
1 out of every 3 dates they go out on result in
the guy not calling them back for a second date.

Why is this? If this has happened to you, you
might find yourself scratching your head thinking back…..

“The email exchange seemed normal”….
“When we spoke on the phone, he seemed interested”….
“When we met up for coffee, the conversation seemed to be there”….

Most guys are quick to make snap judgments about
women, especially when it comes to online dating. If the
guy thinks that there is even one small thing amiss, he
would simply not call you back and move onto the next
girl. Why is this? Well, let’s face it; if you lived in a small
cow town in the Midwest with a population of only 100
people, chances are the guys would take what they could
get. But when it comes to online dating, and the hundreds
of potential dates that guys could have…..why should they give
you a second chance?

I recently polled over 50 guys and asked them to give me
10 types of women that they avoid like the plague. Now,
YOU may not consider yourself to be one of these “types”,
but the guy certainly did….

p.s. If any of these apply to you, scroll down to the
bottom of the article for a quick and easy way to figure
out “why wasn’t that one guy interested in me?”.

1. Cindy Chatterbox
Cindy Chatterbox is the type of girl that just won’t shut her
trap.

“Blah blah blah my job, blah blah blah my cat, blah blah
blah purple monkey elevator.” is what a guy hears when
he is talking to little little Cindy-Lou.

“Does this women ever shut up?”

It is one thing to tell a semi-long winded story, but when
you just dominate the conversation it gets old, fast.

2. Flirts.
Nothing turns a guy on more than a woman that flirts.
Nothing turns a guy off more than a woman who flirts.
Confused yet?

Guys like it when you flirt with them. But if they perceive
you as a flirt, then it’s pretty much all over. Keep it to
a bare minimum, lest you risk being labeled as a chronic
flirt.

3. Desperation
Unless they are out for sex, guys hate women that come
off as desperate. Generally speaking, this really doesn’t
apply to most women under the age of 35-ish. You may
fall into this category and not realize it…..just like men,
women give off subconscious signals. Men are quick
to pick up on them and it just turns them off. If you are
35 years of age or older, ask youself the following question:

“Am I looking to quickly get into a relationship so I
won’t feel lonely anymore?”

/Discuss amongst yourselves

4. The Cat Lady.
Every guy in their life has had the (dis)pleasure of going
on a date with the Cat Lady. Cat Ladies are generally
mildly neurotic and sometimes have wild mood swings.
They tend to be all over the place during the course of
normal conversation and by most guys standards, are
easy to get into bed…..it’s getting them out that is the
hard part.

5. Clingy-ness
Clingy women tend to be a bit…..clingy. They have
the unique ability to change their exact physical shape so it
fits perfectly in the shadow that the guy casts when
he walks down the street on a bright sunny day. They
tend to call too much…..they tend to write long-winded
emails, when a few words would suffice. In fact, after
a guy decides to not pursue a relationship with a woman
he deems as “clingy” she tends to show him just how
mistaken his is……most notably by carving her name into
the side of his car and leaving a 5×10 glossy photo of
herself (complete with hair clippings) on the doorstep
of his house.

6. The Judgmental bitch
Every woman has the right to express her opinion…..
just like every guy has the right to not call the girl back
after the first date. How to avoid being (mis?)labeled
as a judgmental bitch? Simple. If you have to express
a negative opinion about something a guys likes or talks
about, don’t go overboard. Just say that you don’t like
it and give a short explanation as to why.

7. Hoodrat, Hoodrat, Hoochie-Momma !!
There are many ways a guy could plausibly label a girl
as a hoochie momma. The way she dresses, the way she
talks, the way she acts. One or two little things combined
shouldn’t cause a guy to turn tail and run…..but when you
show up to the first date in shirt that shows off your boobs,
talk about your “special talents” in bed and then proceed to
demonstrate said talents in the bathroom at Denny’s…..

Chances are, you might be a hoochie momma. Best thing
to do is head off to Sears or Target to buy some respectable
clothing, and try not to have intercourse along the way?

8. Girls with guy friends. LOTS of guy friends.
For some reason, most guys don’t like it when a girl
has a lot of guy friends. Be it jealousy or whatever else,
it can turn a good portion of the general male online
dating population off. If you do have a lot of guy friends,
try to play it down a notch or two.

9. PaRtY ChIcKs !
What guy doesn’t love a fun, outgoing girl? It’s just when
it is a 24/7 type of ordeal, it can get old, quick. Guys don’t
see party chicks are potential relationship partners. So don’t
give off the impression that life to you is one big party (even if
it is).

10. Subservient Slaves
Unless you are a member of the newest online dating site called:
“Barefoot and Pregnant in the Kitchen Singles”, chances are they
guy you are out on a date with does NOT like women that are
subservient. Just because the guy is “hot” and whatever else,
does not mean that you have to bow down to his every whim
and agree with every statement that he makes. Once you do
so, the challenge is gone and the guys attention is quickly drawn
to the other girl who is playing hard to get. There is a fine line
to walk between coming off as a judgmental bitch and/or coming
off as a spineless wimp.

So after reading all of these “types”, are you getting a bit
paranoid now? Especially since in no way/shape or form
do you consider yourself to have even the slightest iota
of any of those traits? Sometimes we see ourselves
differently than other people see us.

A great way to figure out if you come off that way is to
simply ask a friend or family member to constructively
criticize you. Be forewarned that even your closest
friends and family members may sugar coat the truth
as to how they see you. A great way to get an honest,
unbaised look at how others view you is to take the
.

The personality profile is a free tool that many
people use to gain a better understanding of how
others view themselves. You are asked a series
of questions, in which you are expected to answer
as honestly as you can. eHarmony then takes your
answers and analyzes them using their scientifically
based system and gives you a 5-6 page analysis
of your personality and how others view you. You can
then print it out for future reference.

eHarmony spends tens of thousands of dollars every
year in academic research and they use their findings
to continuously improve their personality profile system.

Take advantage of it and you might find yourself looking
at a totally different person than you see in the mirror….

10 types of women that men avoid is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. Why men like skinny women (the cold hard truth)

Online dating has been around for over 10 years now
but only recently has it become more “mainstream”
wherein people aren’t embarrassed to tell others that
they are or were a member of an online dating service.
With the advent of such “high end” online dating
services such as
and their commercials running 24/7 on the television,
more and more singles who have never tried online
dating are giving it a shot.

So why join an online dating service?

The short answer to that question is: quantity and quality.
The long answer is a bit more complicated.

There really is no “right way” or “place” to meet
new people in this day and age. You could get
lucky and meet the guy/girl of your dreams
while you are standing in line in the supermarket.
(this has NEVER happened to me, but I have heard
it happens on occasion). You could be introduced
to your future boyfriend/girlfriend by a common
acquaintance.

In light of all the potential ways and places to
meet someone new, I have chosen to compare/contrast
online dating versus a tried and true method of
meeting new men and women: The bar scene.

Love it or hate it, the bar scene has been the
proverbial Serengeti watering hole for singles
looking to mingle for hundreds of years. Long
before the advent of the internet and online
dating, singles would generally congregate
at their local bars in the semi-high hopes of
meeting a local hottie. Of course, with all
the booze and beer that is served in a bar,
“impaired judgment” was a very common occurrence
and you really couldn’t get an accurate picture
of the person that you were talking to in a bar
because …..well let’s face it. Alcohol makes
people horny and looking for your soulmate
was probably the last thing on your list when
a pair of “DD’s” planted themselves firmly
on the barstool next to you…..

So why choose online dating over the bar
scene?

1. Checking out the dating pool, without
having to interact with the old, slobbering
drunk guy staring at your breasts.
With online dating, you can check out other
people’s profiles from the comfort and saftey
of your home. You choose who you want to
communicate with and that communication
stays within the email or instant messenger
service until the time of your choosing.

2. Safety.
Online dating is one of the safest ways to
meet new people. You have complete
control over the interacting experience
and chose when and where and if
you so chose to give out your personal
information. Many online dating sites
such as eHarmony screen potential new
users so that only the creme de la creme
are allowed to join their services.

3. Diversity.
Are you into any less than mainstream
alternative lifestyles or dating? There are
many online dating sites out there that
cater to Gay dating, Lesbian dating,
Asian dating, Hispanic dating, “hookup”
dating and so on. With these sites you
know that the person that you are
talking to is looking for the same thing you are.

4. Price.
Most of the online dating sites cost anywhere
from $19.99 a month to $39.99 a month. When
taken into consideration, that is what you would
pay for a Friday night out at your local bar
(probably less, depending on what you like to
drink).

5. No embarrassing moments.
Ever been to a bar and saw a hottie that
you thought was checking you out….and
you walk over and come to find out that
they were actually checking out
one of your friends. Yikes !

With online dating, you know instantly
whether or not someone is interested in
you because they too have the ability to
choose whom they wish to communicate
with and who they don’t.

6. Law of averages.
How many times do you go out to a bar
every month? Let’s say the average person
goes 4x a month. Now how many new
people (that you would give your phone
number out to) do you meet every time
you are out? Again, let’s shoot low and
say “2″. So that’s 2 people every week for
4 weeks. 8 new people you meet
every month who might have “potential”.
Now how much money do you spend on
going out every month, with the high hopes
of meeting someone new? When you finally
add it all up, it can be quite costly to maybe
meet 10 new people every month.

With online dating, you have access to a pool
of thousands of people who are in the same
situation you are. Looking for someone new
and tired of the “bar scene”.

If you have never tried an online dating service,
then my advice to you would be to take a
break from the bar scene. Turn down the next
blind date your friends set you up on and give
online dating a shot. The bar scene is full
of scumbags and losers and that’s on a good night !!

If the bar scene is your thing, try to use is as just
a social gathering for you and your friends and don’t
go out with the specific purpose of meeting someone
new. Chances are it won’t happen or if it does, you
will wind up with the wrong person.

Good luck !!

Online Dating vs. The Bar Scene is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Christian Online Dating
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. Online Dating Tips

Ever wonder why the best looking guys out there always
seem to date the skinny “hot chicks” ?

What makes guys jump to attention and break their necks
when a skinny hot chick walks into the room?

Here are just a few reasons for you take into consideration.
This post is not intended to make anyone feel bad, but rather
shed some light on some of the (stupid?) reasons as to why
most guys are only really attracted to skinny women.

<caveat> This article doesn’t apply to all guys. There
are plenty of guys out there that find “not so skinny” girls
perfectly attractive. It’s just harder to find them.

1. Society

Take a look at any magazine cover or t.v. show
and you will see nothing but size 2 and under women.
Hollywood and the media perpetuate skinny women
as being “hot”. Back in the 1600’s, this was not the case.
Women that were “pleasantly plump” (even downright obese)
were seen as beautiful because their size suggested that they
would be good child bearers and mothers. Skinny chicks back in
those days were looked upon as poor and malnourished.
I think any guy that is having a problem getting a skinny chick
in this day and age should devote his efforts to building a time
machine back to the 1600’s. Jackpot, baby.

2. Porn

A good portion of the guys out there watch insane amounts of
porn. Almost all of these porn models have perfect asses,
skinny legs and arms and big breasts. To a guy, porn is like
a sacrament. It is how most guys learn about sex and what
a girl looks like with her clothes off. I would go as far as
saying that porn for most guys is like having a second girlfriend.
She doesn’t care how hung or buff you are, she is always there
whenever you need her and in those times when a real woman is
hard to find…..She will be only a few mouse-clicks away.
With all that being said, is it any wonder why guys tend to
think that chicks in real life with “banging bodies” are hot?

3. Sex

Guys don’t like to see arm fat and belly fat and insane amounts
of leg fat on a girl they are having sex with. Most guys would
say that this is a complete turn-off. When a guy sees a girl
in real life, he sometimes pictures what she would look like
having sex with him. If all he can see is a big belly, he might
get a bit (read: totally) turned off.

A skinny girl can also do things in bed that a “bigger” girl
would have a hard time with. The word “spinner” comes
to mind….

4. Bragging rights

Most guys like to show off their skinny trophy girlfriends to
their friends and the public in general. It gives them a sense
of pride and ownership of such a “valuable asset” and some
might even go as far as to revel in the fact that they are
making other men jealous. Guys are also keenly aware
that if they are dating a “fat chick”, their friends would
have a ton of material (no pun intended) to make fun
of them with.

5. Low self esteem
This one goes hand in hand with the #4 reason. Guys that
tend to like to show off their girlfriends usually have low self
esteem. By having other guys (including their friends) look
at their girlfriend and in some cases act jealous, it reaffirms
their self worth on a daily basis.

6. The protector

Some guys want to feel like they are the sole
protector of their girlfriend. As such, a skinny girl
would fit snugly inside his arms and he could hold her
and feel that she is his little angel. He could curl
up with her on the sofa when watching a movie and
she would fit right into the couch.

7. A sense of accomplishment

Generally speaking, skinny “hot” chicks have a ton
of self confidence, and as such, are a bit harder to
get a date with (because a wider dating pool is open
to them than to girls that are “bigger”). Guys that can successfully
score a date (or more) with a skinny girl tend to feel
that they have actually put in work and were rewarded
greatly for their efforts. Don’t believe me? Take any
normal looking guy out to a bar and set him off on
a mission to get phone numbers. Chances are that
the majority of the phone numbers he will get are from
girls that aren’t secure with the way their bodies look.
Girls that are willing to take anything that is thrown their way.

Chances are if he is very lucky, he might get that
skinny chick at the bar to give him her number. More likely
than not, she won’t because almost all the guys in the
bar are vying for her attention. This potential denial
in and of itself makes a guy want a skinny chick just
that much more. You always want what you can’t have.

And the final reason (and most likely) why some guys
are really and truly only attracted to skinny women:

8. Guy that only date skinny girls are shallow
assholes that will one day wind up being 40, single,
and balding with a huge beer belly, going to community college
classes at night with the sole intention of trying to pick
up some 18 year old piece of ass.

Not that there is anything wrong with that….because if you
are a guy that is 40 years old, fat, balding and taking community
college courses at night for the sole intention of getting a younger
female (and you are successful), my hat is off you.

Rock on brother !!

….

My advice to you? Don’t worry about your weight, unless
it is for health concerns only. If you do choose to embark
on a diet plan or want to start exercising to lose weight,
do it for yourself. Don’t do it because “one day I will be
skinny and hot”. You are only setting yourself up for failure
that way.

Why men like skinny women (the cold hard truth) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site

Why get creative when breaking up?

The socially acceptable way to break up
with someone is to do it in person, be calm
and explain the reasons and then distance
yourself from your ex as much as possible.

Sometimes this doesn’t work. Maybe your
boyfriend/girlfriend is very controlling and
persuasive and you know that if you try
to break up, they will only wind up convincing
you to stay with them. Maybe you don’t
like confrontation and the inevitable negative
emotions that go along with breaking up
with someone in person. Maybe you
just want to leave town tonight, fly
to Tahiti and paint nude men/women
on the beach for the rest of your life….

Whatever your reason, I now present to you
10 creative ways to break up with someone:

1. Take out a billboard.
Figure out which route/street they take to
work every morning and buy billboard space
for a week. If you really want to rub it in,
buy the space for a month, and make sure it is in
an area where they cannot take a detour
to work. If you REALLY want to rub it in,
then find a hot guy/girl and take a picture
of the two of you together and put that
on the billboard.

2. Text Message
Nothing says: “It’s over” more quickly
and to the point than a simple text message.
No mess, no having to listen to them bitch,
moan, cry and complain and best of all
you can turn off your cell phone to avoid
having to hear them whine and moan.

3. “I’m not gay, but I can learn”.
Tell them that you recently developed
a sudden attraction to a member of the
same sex.

Guys:
Start speaking with a lisp and tell
her that you found this “really cute” bar
in the gay district of your local area. A thick
bushy mustache and black leather pants
with a hole cut out for your ass-cheeks
to breathe will only add to the ambiance.

Girls:
Butch hair cut, Dickies boots, flannel shirt
Then, learn to roll your own tampons
and buy a vibrator that requires you to
kick-start it in order to turn it on.

4. Hire a Barbershop Quartet.
Nothing says “I want to break up with you”
better than 5 guys showing up on their
front doorstep, dressed in white and red
striped uniforms with straw top hats singing:

It’s over
oveer
oveeer
oveeeer !!!

5. Send them on a treasure hunt.

Pick 5 spots in the area where you live. It could
be the mall, the park, the beach, Starbucks, wherever.
Leave a note that leads to the next spot in a hidden area.
At the final spot leave the breakup note. If they are
not too bright, they will entertain themselves for hours
on end before the find the final breakup note.

6. Let yourself go.
Stop taking showers, gain a few pounds, don’t use
deodorant, whatever it takes to make yourself
SO physically repulsive that the dirty deed will
handle itself. Just make sure you can reverse the
damage, lest you be stuck with a penis tattoo
across your forehead for the rest of your life….

Girls: dress like a total slut when you go out.
Let your boobs hang out, short mini skirts and
gobs of makeup will surely do the trick.

7. Dine and ditch.
Suggest that you and your significant other
go out to dinner. Right after the food is delivered
to your table, excuse yourself to the bathroom
to go wash your hands. Find your waiter in the back
and hand him a note that you wrote and ask him
to give it to your significant other. Then leave.

BETTER YET:

Before you leave: Tell your waiter/waitress
that it is your significant others birthday.
Ask them to hand them the breakup note
and wait for them to read it, before 7 waiters
spontaneously bursting out into
“Happy Birthday to you” !!!

If you really think about it…this is his/hers
very first “being single” birthday. Why not
celebrate ??!!

8.   Bait and switch
This works better for girls, but guys can do it too…

Girls: Find another girl that you think your boyfriend
would be attracted to. Then tell her that you want
to set her up on a blind date with “a really hot guy”.
It works best if she doesn’t know he is your boyfriend.
Then make plans to meet up with your boyfriend one
night. As soon as you see your boyfriend, introduce
him to the girl and tell him that you are breaking up
with him, and send him on his way with the new girl.
That way he won’t feel lonely or sad, he will have a
new girl to get to know and everything will be better.

9. Brother can you spare a dime?
Start acting like a total cheap-ass. Don’t buy her
things, don’t take her out at night. Why stop there?
With gas being so expensive nowadays, why do you
have to pick her up when the both of you are going
out for the night? Give her a bus pass with a small
note saying that you “wanted to do your part in saving
the environment and minimizing your carbon footprint”.
Break up with your evil girlfriend, save the environment
AND save a buck or two ????

Yes.
Please.

10. Jesus Freak !!!
Nothing will make your significant other turn tail
and run the other way faster than you taking her
to your local Jehovah’s Witness hall for a fun filled
weekend of going door-to-door passing out pamphlets
and trying to find ways of “being more moral”.

There you have it. 10 ways to break up with your
boyfriend or girlfriend. Take these 10 items with
a grain of salt, or expand upon them and really
go out with a bang !!

When you finally decide to get back into the dating
game, make sure to visit this site for comprehensive
online dating reviews so that you can pick the correct
online dating site. This way you will hopefully never have
to break up with someone like this ever again.

Good luck !!

10 creative ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Top 10 signs he is about to break up with you
2. How to impress your new boyfriend/girlfriends parents
3. How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you (or about to)

Whatever it is, whatever the reason, low self esteem
is only going to harm you when it comes to dating.
People naturally are attracted to other people who
have high self esteem. Low self esteem is seen by others
as “low self worth”. If you are single, you are naturally
looking for someone who is of value in one way or another.
This means that people naturally put a “value” on other
people that they meet during the course of their lives.
High self esteem is very important to attracting
(and keeping) someone that you want to date. The question
now begs: “How does one go about getting high self esteem?”

Not all of us are super models. Not everyone
has a “perfect body”, not everyone has money and a nice
car. First off you have to analyze yourself and try to see
how others view you, then you need to figure out what
things in life, or what qualities you have that are great.
Whenever someone asks me “how do I go about trying
to figure out how other people view me”, I simply suggest
they ask a close friend, or loved one to give them their
thoughts. Although sometimes their thoughts and views
can be biased (”well, my mommy told me I was good”….).

I suggest you take advantage of some of the free tools
out there on the internet. One very good tool is the
.

eHarmony spends hundreds of thousands of dollars every year
in researching human compatibility/relationships. They then take
their findings and incorporate it/update into their free online
personality profile quiz. I have people take this personality
profile because it is completely free, with no credit
card required (you are not obligated to sign up for
eHarmony if you take their personality profile quiz)
and it gives you an honest view as to
how other people see you. The results of your
personality profile are several pages in length
and go into great detail about your personality.

Once you have that in hand, print it out for
future reference.

Now it is time to begin building on your self esteem.
Take a look at the personality profile then compare
it as to how you see yourself. What qualities do you
bring to the table? What unique things can you
offer that special someone? Why should someone
chose you over that hottie they gave their phone
number to last week?

The answers to these questions may take some
time to figure out. In the meantime, here are
some short-term solutions as to how you can
improve your self-confidence:

1. Don’t think negative thoughts.
Ever heard the saying “You are what you eat?”
Well in this case, you are what you think. If you
constantly think you can’t do something, chances
are you are right. If you have never really
experienced success in life, I would suggest this
be the first thing you work on. In a matter of a
few short days/weeks or months you will begin
to experience that little thing in life people call
“success”.

2. Envision yourself in your mind the way you
want to be seen by others.
So you have a fat stomach, so you aren’t that attractive,
so you think everyone laughs at you…..Big deal !!!
The only reason people think those things
about you is because that is how you see yourself.
You may think that the thoughts inside your head
are private and only heard by you…..but you are dead
wrong. What goes on inside that little head of yours
is subconsciously transferred to your outside persona.
Try thinking about yourself in a good light, instead
of a bad light. Instead of you being “fat”, you are
merely just a few pounds overweight.
You walk a few miles a week so you are trying to
lose the weight. etc. Get the idea? Think about
yourself in a good light….and it will come to fruition.

3. Stop the inner critic.
This one kind of goes hand in hand with #2.
Simply put: Don’t put yourself down inside your head !!
Thomas Edison had a saying:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

It’s as simple as that. You only fail when
you stop trying, so quit being so harsh on
yourself. Would you like it if someone in
real life kept putting you down as much as
you put youself down inside your head
on a daily basis? Hell no !! You would
probably want to punch that person in the face
a few times.

4. Be your own cheer leading squad.
The exact opposite of #3. Cheer yourself
on a daily basis, even for the most mundane
accomplishments in life. This may seem
a bit stupid, but over time this happy thinking
reinforces good self confidence.

5. Avoid negative comparisons to others.
I have seen this all too often. A guy goes
out on a date with a really “hot chick” and
he thinks that he can’t get her because he
doesn’t have a lot of money, or isn’t that
good looking compared to other guys. This
is a great way to reduce your value with a
member of the opposite sex. Once
you start comparing yourself to others in
that (and other) regards, you have set
yourself up for failure. If you feel that
you must compare, compare against yourself
against how you were 1 month ago. Once
you start thinking along those lines, you
will see success and progress will follow suit.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments in life so far
I really don’t need to explain this one.
Just do it and you will start to realize
that your low self esteem is nothing more
than:

“In your head”.

God Bless and good luck with your online dating endeavors !!

How to overcome low self-esteem and succeed in dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

No related posts.

This week, I am posting the guy’s point of view. I sent out an email
to over 100 different guys (thanks to my University contacts) and asked
them the same question. Their responses ranged from the mild to the
wild (since this is a “g-rated” website, I will spare you the story of the
dominatrix girl that one guy met).

I have compiled the answers from over 100 guys surveyed and
these next 10 types of women seem to pop up more often than
not in an online dating service:

(Again, these are NOT my answers. If you disagree with any of these,
blame the guys you meet online for giving the responses)

1. Rosie O’donnel
The girl who just won’t shut up. Apparently some girls like to chat too
much. So much, that when the guys are talking to them on the phone,
they cannot get a word in edge-wise. To make matters worse, the girl
talks AT them, not TO them. These types of girls are great for guys who
are just getting into online dating and really don’t know what to say. Just
sit back, grab a beer and every now and then go:

“Hrmm, that’s interesting !” followed by a few accepting grunts here and there.

2. The Serial Dater (a.k.a “Attention Whore”)
This is the girl that comes online with the sole purpose of getting as much
attention as she can from as many guys as she can. She may have recently
broken up with her boyfriend, or may have been dumped so bad that her ego
has taken a boo-boo. Generally speaking, she is very attractive and her
online personals email inbox is probably too full….so full that it takes her a few
days to answer your wink or email. She might have a few scantily clad pictures
up, with ample cleavage showing, or may have such phrases as:

“Am open to meeting all kinds of guys”
or
“I value a guy’s personality over his looks”

Unless you are a guy that has a perfect body and is the long-lost
identical twin of her ex boyfriend who just dumped her….I would have
to say your chances are slim to none with this girl. Her sole purpose is
to make herself feel better, and at the same time, toy with the emotions
of the guys she talks to.

Remember that epic 4 hour instant message convo you had with her
the other night? Sorry to break this to you, but she was talking to 3-4
other guys at the same time she was talking to you. Aha ! Now you realize
why it was taking her so long to reply to your instant messages?

3. Totally hot chick looking for an “average guy who understands me”.
Ok, my “bullshit meter” is going off the hook here. While I am trying to
fix it, here is how this one goes:

A cute (borderline beautiful) “girl” creates a online personality profile.
In it, she states that she is tired of the games guys play, and is looking for
an honest and open and genuine man to be her boyfriend. She might say that
“looks don’t matter” and she only cares about the size of a guys heart.

Stop for a minute before you respond to her personal ad.

Do you honestly believe that a totally “hot chick” has resorted to an
online dating service to find a boyfriend and she really doesn’t care about
what you look like and who you are? Ok….it could happen, I suppose. But
more often than not, it is someone trying to get your personal contact
information so that they can send you emails on how to enlarge your male
genitalia as well as any and all porn website advertisements.

How many “average looking guys” do you think that are on any given
online dating service, as compared to “totally hot guys”? I would say
10 to 1. So these people realize this and use it to their advantage.

4. Females they aren’t attracted to

Out of the 100 guys that I surveyed, a great majority of them said
that the “unattractive females” were a type of girl that they found
online.

5. Wham-Bam-ThankYou-Sir
I really don’t think this one needs any explanation at all.

Face it guys, no matter what you say….if a girl you are dating offers to
have sex with you on the first date….how many of you HONESTLY would
turn them down?

There are several adult online dating sites that carter to men (and women) who
are only out to have sex. True, if you look hard enough (and if that
is all you are out for) sooner or later you will find a women who is willing
to have sex with you within the first one or two dates. Chances are,
unless you specifically stick with the online dating services that cater
to the “hookup” types of people, you will most likely get rejected more
times than you can to imagine.

6. Girl that is looking for children or marriage
These are the types of women who are out for one thing and one thing only:
To get married/have children.
Generally speaking, you can tell that they
are out for this by just talking to them for a few.
She might be extremely picky, then again, a simple “let’s goto Vegas
and get married” will land you the prize fish. Good luck with that !!

7. Average girl
Average looks, average body type, average job, average sense of humor.
In short, an average girl. If you join an online dating service with any
sense of reality in your expectations, then you should look for one of these
girls to try and date. True, she may not be a size two….hell, she may not
even be a size 3-9, but one thing is for sure. If you two hit it off personality-wise
you have got yourself a honest and reliable girlfriend for a long time.

My advice? Go for the “average girl”. She will make you 100x more happier
than the blonde hair, blue eyes, size DDDD nympho that you met last
night online. Trust me on this one. I’m a girl.

8. Psychopath Patty
Hold on to your hats cowboys, you got yourself a live one here !!
Prozac, Xanax, Zoloft, you name it, she’s on it. Usually the relationship
starts off innocently enough….until you hit her “trigger”. Then all hell
breaks loose and you might start to realize that the gates of hell hath
just opened and out comes a personality that is slightly less than what
you expected.

Sidenote: More than a few guys have claimed that these so called
“psycho bitches” are GREAT in bed.

9. Must love (lots of) children
This is the girl that already has a few children and is looking for a guy
to accept her for who she is. She will usually come straight out and tell
you that if you don’t like children, don’t bother emailing her. I can
personally relate, since my sister is a single mother, and it can be hard
to find a good man.

The guys I surveyed however, reported a few girls that were just out
for money and a daddy for the youngins. I would advise you to keep
an open mind when talking to a single mother online, and never discriminate
just because she has children. But, I would also advise (until you feel that
you can trust her) to always keep an open eye for the few gold diggers
that might be out there.

10. The fat chick who thinks she can do better than you

Wow. Apparently this was a big one for the guys…..

A good portion of the guys I surveyed felt that they had been “discriminated”
against by women who they felt that were completely in their league.
Some guys reported that they had lowered their standards by talking to
these women, only to be rejected time and time again.

If I could strap on (no pun intended) my “P.C.” cloak for a minute and
try to save the guys some face by translating what they are trying to say:

Some girls are just too picky and unrealistically try to date
guys that are out of their league.

Fair enough?

There you have it. 10 types of women that over 100 guys have reported
meeting and dating online. Of course, these are just the most common
reported examples and you may or may not come across one of these
girls in your online dating experiences.

Good luck !

10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 kinds of guys you can expect to meet in an Online Dating Site
2. 10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating
3. 10 types of women that men avoid

After I sat down and analyzed the responses
I noticed that there were about 10 different
types of guys that seemed to be common-place
in any given online dating service.

Next week I will print the “top 10″ types of
women you might find in an online
dating service as reported by over 100
different guys (from all walks of life) in a
poll I sent out this week.

The purpose of this list is to give you guys an eye opener
as to the types of people you might find in an online
dating service. Of course, there are guys and girls out
there that are members of an online dating service that
do not fall into any of these categories.
—————————————–
1. Don Amore

This is the guy that falls head over heels for a girl
in a relatively short period of time. If you are still
in the “email exchange” process, he might send you
an email every morning, with a small anecdote of what
he did the night prior and wishing that you “have a super-dooper
day at work”. Every night at 8pm, he anxiously awaits
on GoogleTalk to see if you have logged into cyberspace
so he can begin the epic 3 hour chat with you.

After you two have met, the flowers and candies seem
to be never-ending. Romantic dinners, sweet nothings
being whispered in your ear, offering to fix the broken
window on your Honda Civic, this guy is a jack-of-all-trades
and ready to get to work ! He seems to be planning your futures
together, (even though you just met two weeks ago).

Ladies, if you believe in love at first sight, or think
with your heart, then this guy might be the right one
for you.

2. Saturday Night Evening Post guy

This is the guy who seems to be stuck in the
America of yester-year. Emails, internet and
generally everything tech may befuddle him.
He wishes for the “good ol’ days” when men were
men (and still in the closet) and women weren’t
as empowered as they are today.

Life to him is very simple. Man wakes up in morning,
goes outside and kills Brontosaurus with club.
Man comes home, sits down in his
recliner and smokes his pipe while awaiting wife
to serve supper. Right before bed, missionary sex
(sorry, no orgasm for wife) and another day as a
productive citizen of the United State of America
has been fulfilled.

2.5 kids, a white picket fence in the middle of the
suburbs and you are livin’ the dream baby !!
—————————————–
3. SexBob-HorneyPants

This is the guy who chronically masturbates when
talking to women online. Then after you meet
his only mission is to get down your pants.
Funny how every single email that he writes to
you, has some sort of sexual innuendo or connotation
to it. Most of the time you can tell who these types
of guys are from their first email. Bad grammar and poor
punctuation coupled with such questions as “ever do
a lesbian-clown-midget threesome?” could be a giveaway that he
is out for nothing else. He sometimes tries to play it off and
run it up the flagpole to see if it flies.

According to some of the responses I got back, this individual
has somewhat evolved over the years women have been
members of online dating services. Darwin, eat your heart out.
Back in the day, you could instantly tell that the guy
was out for nothing more than a wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am
in a mater of a few minutes.

Nowadays, these types of guys have taken their game to
the next level. Their first few emails and subsequent chats
might come off as completely innocuous and totally sincere.
They seem like “the perfect guy”. Then after they have you
mentally hooked, the “sex question” game starts….When talking
to a girl for 3 hours on instant messenger and at 11pm at night,
it usually doesn’t take much in the way of words to get the girl
“all warm and tingly” inside. If this is your thing ladies,
then go for it. If not, then let this serve as a red-flag.
—————————————–
4. Pity-Party Pete

His dog died, he got a speeding ticket last week,
the Angels lost the ball game.

If it isn’t one thing he is complaining about, it’s another.
Why does life have to be so hard ??????

This type of guy generally needs a woman in his life to
nurture him and take care of him. Someone hurt his feelings at
work? No worries, as you will hear all about it when he
calls you that night. Women that like to nurture their
men and play the mommy role are a great match for this
fella. Sex-wise….she might be the dominating one in the
bedroom.
—————————————–
5. Average Joe.

Average looks, average job, average sense of humor,
average everything. This is the type of guy that
you probably will be MOST compatible with. I realize
that there are a good portion of women out there
that join online dating services with unrealistic
expectations. Sorry ladies, you probably aren’t
going to find a buffed out hunk with 10 inches and
7 digits in his bank account.

If you can’t be with the one you love,
then love the one you’re with….

Doo do do doo doo doodoo do.
—————————————–
6. 5 year old photo guy.

Online dating. So simple, yet so complicated.
There are many different reasons why online
dating is so different than meeting people in
“real life”. Looks are definitely not one of them.

As in real life, women looking for love online
go for guys that they are physically attracted to. Being
that online dating is not “live”, some enterprising
fellows post outdated pictures of themselves (or worse yet,
pictures of other people). Gain a few pounds over the
past 5 years? Has Al Gore made another environmental
video about the depleting hair-zone on the top of your head?
No worries !! Just post an outdated picture and then hope
to all hell that the girl’s memory of what she thinks you look
like is outweighed by your wit and charm when you meet up in real life.
(believe it or not, there are a good number of women who really
don’t notice the guys picture is outdated)

There is no real way to tell if a guys picture in his online
dating profile is up to date. If for whatever reason
this is a concern to you, then ask him to take a current
picture of himself and email it to you. If you are still
not convinced then ask him to hold up a current copy
of the daily newspaper. If you still aren’t convinced
then hire a body double and let the body double
meet him in real life.
—————————————–
7. Herr Holy Roller

The guy that like to pass judgment on you. No matter
what you do, you will always feel inferior to him. He could
be a holy roller, going to church 2x a week, he could be Mr.
Morals and that one wine cooler you had last night is a sure
sign of an alcoholic (even though you don’t drink on a regular basis).
This guy generally likes to be in control, with absolute and
complete authority. He may have a really high education,
drive a really nice car and really care less if he remembers to
call you back after the first time you put out.

Women that are submissive and
like to be dominated (in or out of the bedroom) seem
to match well with this type of guy. (practice your delivery
of the words: “Yes Daddy” on the off-chance you
both wind up in a romantic sexual relationship……err I mean,
if he allows you the privilege of being his girlfriend).
—————————————–
8. The married guy

He has a wife (and maybe a few children he isn’t telling
you about.) and for whatever reason he has joined an
online dating service. It could be a harmless curiosity thing,
or it could be him trying to get out of the relationship
that he is currently in.

There is no real way of telling if the guy you are talking to
is married or not. Some sites like
will not let you join if you are married.
—————————————–
9. Artsy Fartsy guy

To these guys, life is one big paint-by-numbers canvas.
Their online personality profile photos may be….well…..

Weird looking.

Pot smoking, coke snorting, licking dead toads….
All ways of getting inspired and in touch
with his inner Jackson Pollack (Anyone catch the
irony?). He may not have a lot of money,
but is rich in personality and life. Shoes and socks
are definitely optional. Sex will most definitely be good
….Tantrum, anyone?

This is the type of guy that most girls find either:

1. Totally and completely repulsive.
2. Hot as hell (“and probably a great way to piss daddy
off for not giving me a new BMW on my 16th birthday”).
—————————————–
10. Mr. Perfect

In short, the man of your dreams.

A total hunk. The shirtless picture of himself that he posted
in his online dating profile makes you start to think you could
wash your clothes on his rock hard abs. Perfect smile, perfect
teeth. He has trouble deciding whether to drive the BMW to the
yacht club or take the Mercedes (image is so important !!).

He knows exactly what to say at the right time and as hard
as you try, you cannot find one single thing wrong with him.
After you exchange a few emails with him, you find yourself
getting butterflies in your stomach when you think about him
while at work. It might even get to the point where you imagine
your “B.O.B” as him pile-driving away on occasion.

THIS IS WHY YOU JOINED AN ONLINE DATING SERVICE !!

To find a true man, the man of your dreams, the man who
will take you to greater heights than you ever have been before.

Guess what?

That “hunk” whom you were talking to for the past 2 weeks
online who still refuses to call you on the phone or meet up
for a date in real life? That was the 24 year old brother
of one of the women who answered my poll. Apparently,
he was so fed up with how some women were so superficial
and only went for looks, that he created a fake profile on
an online dating site just to show them that it goes both ways.

Just goes to show you. You never know who you are talking
to while online.

Food for thought….

- K

10 kinds of guys you can expect to meet in an Online Dating Site is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
2. Online Dating vs. The Bar Scene
3. 10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating

Over the years I have met with many people who have used
various online dating services. Some people had good experiences,
others had great experiences in where they met their current
wife/husband on an online dating service, and still others
have not had much luck using online dating service.

Every single person that I have talked with has given
some great insight in how to (and how not to)
date successfully online just by relating their
personal experiences with it.

I have compiled these “life lessons” into an easy to follow
list. My original intent was to take each item and turn
it into a post, but after reading through it, I could only
come up with two or three sentences….which doesn’t
make for a good article.

So here are some online dating/relationship tips that I
would like you guys to print out and review every so often.
Some of these may seem a bit trivial, and others may not
apply to you. It is my intention that someone, somewhere
will benefit from these little dating tips. If you have any others
that you would like me to add, e_mail me at karenk3030 at
gmail dot com.

Bookmark this page because I will be updating it at random
intervals whenever I come across a new tip. Some of these
tips are life lessons experienced by me, others are from
random people.

If you yourself have an experience you would like to relate
please email me and I will add it to the list. It is my intention
to come up with the internet’s most comprehensive online
dating tips article ever.
————————————————————–

1. Women do NOT like it when you bring up your
ex-girlfriends during the course of conversation. Even if
your intentions are good, they still don’t like it.
2. Checklist to prepare your house/apartment for the
first time you bring the girl you are dating over there:
- Clean toilet
-Vacuum Floors
-Wash comforters/bedsheets
-Empty over-flowing Trashcans
-Hide porn on your computer.
3. Clean your car inside and out before picking
up a girl for a date
4. Have realistic expectations of the women/men
you are trying to attract.
5. If you haven’t dated in a while, go out
and buy yourself some new clothes before
you go out on your first date. Confidence levels
will rise accordingly.
6. If you go out on a blind date/meet someone
off the internet and it just isn’t working for you,
do the honorable thing and tell them as soon as
possible. Don’t string them along.
7. Groom yourself accordingly prior to going
out on date. If you think you might be
“getting some action”, take proper precautions
lest you turn them off for good. Ladies, if
aren’t into the “shaved” look, then try a landing
strip. Small enough to land a Cessna, but not so
big that you can land a Boeing 757. Guys, bust
out the weed whacker. “The Hitler” is a big no-no.
So are smiley faces and other random landscaping
designs.
8. Brush your teeth
9. Guys: for the first few dates, try “rubbing one out”
prior to going out on date. It might save you an
embarrassing bulge when pressing up against her
to hug her good night.
10. Compliments are nice, too many compliments
and it goes from flattery to pandering.
11. Jealously is bad, mmkay?
12. “First date jitters” are completely normal.
Don’t take it as a bad thing. “Fifth date jitters”
and something might be amiss.
13.Don’t judge your date.
14. Going to the movies on a first date
makes for an entertaining experience, but not so good for
getting to know the other person unless you have dinner plans
before or afterwards.
15. Take your time in getting to know your date.
Don’t rush things, it sometimes tends to scare potential mates off.
16. Perceived danger sometimes turns women on.
17.If you make boastful claims, be prepared to
back those claims up.
18.Women love mystery.
19.Men love to be touched playfully.
20.Crotch stuffing is a big no-no.
21.Bra stuffing is a big no-no.
Be proud of what God gave you. Chances are
your date likes the way your body looks.
22.Trim your toenails.
23.Mentally prepare yourself
before you go out on a date.
24.If you find yourself not being
able to go out on as many dates as you would like,
make yourself more socially available. Love comes
when you least expect it.
25.Boat-rides are really romantic
unless your date gets sea-sick.
26.Fuzzy little puppies in a pet
shop will make any woman melt. Unless she likes to
eat said puppies, then she will salivate. Either way,
consider yourself ahead of the game.
27.Chocolate create a chemical
reaction in some female’s brains that is a similar feeling
to love.
28.Don’t be late on a date. If you are,
call ahead to let them know you will be late.
29.Bars are only good to meet people
who want to hook up.
30.Some women get turned on by porn.
31.All men get turned on by porn.
32.Keep the first date short and sweet.
33.When talking to a guy/girl you meet online,
don’t spend hours upon hours talking on the phone or via instant
message. Save some discovery for the actual first date, lest
you run out of things to talk about that you haven’t already talked
about.
34. Alcohol on a first date can lead to hooking up,
just don’t expect a phone call the next day.
35.30% of all women surveyed who met someone
online, have had sex on the first date.
36.“Dating” is just that. Getting to know someone
and learning about them.
37.Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you
are not, just because you happen to think she likes a certain type of guy.
38.Women like guys with big penises
39.Women like guys with small penises
40. Women like penises. Get the idea?
41. Men like boobs.
42.Turn off your cell phone, or at the very least
set it to vibrate.
43.Most first dates go a little something like this:
Meet up, both of you are nervous. Idle chit-chat/small talk, still nervous.
You go home, not nervous anymore. Pretty simple huh?
Don’t psych yourself out over the first date.
44.You may drive a Mercedes and you
may have a 7 figure bank account, but you’re still an asshole.
Don’t brag about yourself. Be modest and she will like you
for you who are, not what you have.
45.Take everything I have told you so far,
and throw it out the window. There are no rules for a successful
first date. Each person is unique and each date you go out on
will be different than the last. What turns one girl on, will turn
another right off. Change your game plan on the fly.
46.Don’t look at other women/guys when
you are out on a date. You may consider it innocent enough,
but what if your date reads it as you being a flirt.
47.Guys: zits on your face can be covered up
by a little foundation. Use too much and you fail.
48.Wash your ass.
49.Try not to say negative things while on
the first few dates.
50.Don’t over-do it on the cologne/perfume.
51.Some people are allergic to pets. Before you
bring your date over to your house, ask your date if they are allergic
and then lock Fido and/or Kittah in the garage.
52.When you first email someone you are interested
in (from an online dating service), keep the first email short and sweet.
Long-winded emails are a no-no. You don’t even know the person yet.
How would you feel if some random person came up to you off the street
and starting rambling on and on then asked you for your number? Capice?
53.These so called “art of pickup” websites that you
see online are full of crap. With one exception. Google “David Wygant”.
No-nonsense approach to picking up women. David has a few videos
on YouTube as well.
54.Make sure the picture you have in your
online dating profile is recent. If it isn’t, then I give you a 50/50
chance of your date ever calling you back once you meet.
55.If you are not happy with your weight
and/or size, try taking a picture from the side or at a funky angle
for your online dating profile.
56.Shirtless/topless pictures in your
online dating profile will only attract one type of person.
57.Too shy to post a picture of yourself
for your online dating profile? Take a digital camera and set
it to “black and white”. Set it at eye-height and step back 5 feet.
Smile. Then take more pics and if someone ask you to post more pics,
tell them that you would rather email them instead.
58.Keep your political views to yourself, unless asked.
59.Don’t talk about sex on the first date.
60. If you run out of things to talk about
on the first/second date, try making observations about the
environment around you. That could lead to an interesting
conversation.
61.Don’t blab on and on about yourself.
Take the opportunity to get to know the person you are with.
62.Women: Don’t overdo it on the makeup/lipstick
63.If you get overly nervous on the first couple
of dates, suggest walking activities. This way you won’t be stuck
having a face to face conversation at a Starbucks table. Instead,
get Starbucks then take a walk around town or down by the beach.
64.If you still find yourself running out of things
to talk about, here are a few suggestions:

- music
- current events
- hobbies
- pet peeves
- favorite places to travel
- craziest thing you have ever done
- name the thing you are most afraid of
- favorite restaurant/pub

65.If you are unsure if you
will like the person you are meeting for the first time,
set a time limit on the date. “Well, I have an hour
free on Saturday, why don’t we meet up at….”
This way, you will have an “out” if your instincts are
correct.
66.NEVER check your dates cell phone
or address book without permission. That goes for the
computer as well.
67.The divorce rate for couples in
Orange County, Ca. is significantly higher than the rest
of the country, so next time you see “Real Housewives
of Orange County” on t.v., take solace in the fact that a good
majority of them will be calling themselves Orange County
Singles soon enough. My point being that money does
not necessarily buy happiness. Choose your date for
who they are, rather than how much they make.
68.Women who date online
generally get taken out to dinner on the first date.
Here are some alternative suggestions to set yourself
apart from the rest:

- Starbucks
- Walk on the Beach
- Window shopping
- Comedy club
- Charity event
- Bike ride through the park
- Rollerskating down by the beach
- Blues club/live music
- Get a tatoo
- Goto a pet shop

69.Before you go out on a first date,
take 1/2 hour to practice deep breathing techniques.
This is a good way to cut down on the nervousness and
will help your brain from drawing a blank when it comes to
conversation.

Online Dating Tips is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Online Dating vs. The Bar Scene
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. 10 kinds of guys you can expect to meet in an Online Dating Site

Next time around, try signing up for . eHarmony attracts
quality men who are looking for long-term, lasting relationships.
———————————————————————————

This past Monday night around 9pm, I get a sobbing phone call
from my girlfriend Lauren. Her boyfriend of 1-1/2 years had sent
her a text message that read:

“It’s over”.

After a few frantic text messages back and forth, it was painfully
obvious that she had been dumped….and in a rather cowardly
way I might add. She came over to my house tonight and over
a few glasses of wine, we tried to make sense of it all. I was
just as shocked as she was. Whenever I saw her and Phillip
together, they seemed like the happiest couple around.
There was no indication whatsoever that he would even be
slightly capable of pulling such a chicken-shit stunt like this.

At first I thought he was joking around but after she showed me
the entire text message conversation, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
She also showed me the 5 phone calls she tried to make to him,
that were ignored. Apparently he did not have the common decency
to accept her phone call.

This was something that completely caught her off-guard. She had
no indication whatsoever (until this conversation) that anything was
amiss. As we were going over the events of the past 3 months, she
couldn’t recall any one particular instance that would have given her
a clue as to his future intentions….until we started looking at what
I like to call:

The little things

When people first enter into a relationship, they tend to notice
things about their partner. Little quirks, whether or not he
called you last night, the last affectionate thing he did for
you…..etc. After the initial joy and excitement of a new
relationship wears on, people generally tend to become
complacent with the day to day grind. Things that you
might normally notice during the first few weeks/months
tend to get overlooked as time goes on. This is because
you have become complacent with this person, and have
allowed them to enter your comfort zone. While allowing
someone to enter into your comfort zone is perfectly natural,
it can also cause you to let down your defenses and overlook
the “little things” that might have caused you to think
otherwise about this person when you first met.

Things like:

- How he acts around his guy friends vs. how he acts around you
- The sincerity of his tone of voice
- his actions matching up with his words (eg: he does what he says he will do)
etc et al

Now, by no means am I saying to bust out the Puritan costume
and go on a witch hunt because he left the toilet seat up last
night, but at the same time, keep your eyes open and your mouth
shut. No need to grill your boyfriend/girlfriend with an accusing
tone of voice because something they did doesn’t “mesh well”
with how you think they should act. This will only cause more
problems than it will solve.

Over time, if you begin to notice any of the below tell-tale signs,
keep a mental record. After a while, a picture will begin to
emerge and as the Romans used to say:

“Res Ipsa Loquitur”

Caveat: These “signs” are just that. Signs. They are not to be
taken individually, but rather as a sum of the whole. If you are
concerned that your boyfriend/girlfriend is about to break up with
you the last thing you want to do is act irrationally or foolish. What
if they were just having a bad week and all of a sudden you go off
the deep end about something they did? Now you are the one who
has instigated an issue and that is counter-productive to what you
were trying to accomplish in the first place.

After I wrote this article, and as I was spell-checking it, a huge red
flag popped into my mind, so I have decided to give you 11 signs he
is about to break up with you. Before I do so, I want you to take a
few minutes after reading this article to think about what that one last
sign could be, then scroll down to the bottom of this article for the sign
and a short explanation. Here’s a little hint: It is right under your nose.

1. A noticeable change in his behavior towards you.
For the most part, guys are creatures of habit and only change their
patterns when they are up to something new. Does his attitude towards
you seem a tad distant? Does he not make direct eye contact when
talking to you anymore? When he comes over to your place, does he
walk up to you and give you a hug or does he flop his fat ass down
on the couch to watch some t.v.?

Guys, same thing: When she walks in your front door does she
smile and give you a great big hug or does she casually stroll on
in and immediately start talking about her day? (which leads us
to the second sign)

2. Me, Me, Me.
Whenever someone wants to cease interpersonal communication
with another person (aside from not talking to them), they generally
more and more start to focus conversations on themselves. This is
so that they don’t have to make a concerted effort to maintain that
interpersonal relationship with you. In other words, they are mentally
checked out. How to tell if someone is mentally checked out of a
relationship? There is no easy answer for this one. People are
different. Sometimes he will use the word “I” instead of “we” when
talking about the two of you. Over time this can be a big indicator
that he is no longer interested in you. Look for a pattern in his
behavior that might suggest something is amiss. I would advise you
to be careful on this one though…..Psychologists have told us that
when you like someone, you tend to sometimes subconsciously emulate
different things about them. So after a few weeks of noticing your
boyfriend only talking about himself, you will find yourself having to
consciously steer the conversation away from him and back towards
you. This in and of itself can cause an issue.

3. “I don’t like the way that dress looks on you”.
What guy in his right mind would tell a girl he just started to date
that she needed to lose a few pounds? None that I know of. When
you are out shopping with him….has he suggested out of the blue
that you buy or wear a dress or shirt that you normally wouldn’t wear?
Or, does he suddenly not show an interest in how you look? This can
be a huge sign that he is no longer interested in you.

4. Gotta go, gotta go !!
In this day and age, most people are busier than they were 10-20
years ago. Cell phones, email, internet etc have opened up a whole
new realm of communication and have in many ways made our lives
easier, but at the same time these innovations have allowed us to
sometimes take on more than we can handle. This is not an excuse
for him to break date plans with you because “he is too busy”.
Staying late after work? Suddenly he is hanging out with his friends
more than he did when you first started dating? That “thing” that he
had to do early Saturday morning that wound up taking him all day?
These all can be construed as ways for him to try to start separating
himself from the relationship. Again, just because he stayed out late
one night and forgot to call you doesn’t necessarily mean he wants
out of the relationship.

5. James Bond.
Do you ever wonder if your boyfriend works for the CIA? Phone calls
that he doesn’t answer while you are in the car together….immediately
hiding his emails or whatever he is doing on the computer when you
walk by…..acting “shy” around that perky 18 year old girl who works
at the Starbucks counter?

Hrmm….

6. Blitzkrieg !!
Fighting is sometimes an inevitable counterpart of a relationship.
But when you start to notice that the fights are getting more and
more frequent, or are about trivial matters, this might be a sign he
is on his way out. No one likes to fight, unless they want something
out of it.

7. He went from “cock-strong, a-block-long” to a “2 minute man” overnight.
I don’t know about you guys….but when I first get into a serious
committed relationship, the sex is just fantastic. Over time, it does
get to be a routine thing and there are sometimes when either partner
is just not up to it. But when you start noticing him not doing the little
things in bed that he used to do when you first started dating, this might
be a good sign he is over it.

8. Silence is golden, let us be rich.
Has the conversation ceased to be meaningful and interesting?
Are you starting to notice him only talking when it is required by
conversation etiquette? Did he used to tell you funny anecdotes
and make witty comments, now only to throw out a half-assed
reply when it is dictated? You can test this theory by asking him
one or two questions that you know that would have made for a
great conversation early on in the relationship.

9. No future talk.
Is there any talk about your future together? Has he made any
plans for you to go out on a vacation or holiday somewhere lately?
Try making plans with him for a future event and watch closely his
reaction. Does he willingly agree to go with you, or do you get a
“We’ll….let’s play it by ear” type of response?

10. “I need some alone time”
This is so painfully obvious that I am really hesitant to list it here,
but I have noticed over the years that a few of my friends have
been so blinded by their love/infatuation with another person, that
they cannot get a hint even if he hired a Barbershop Quartet to
knock on your front door and sing in unison:

“It’s over, over, overrrr !!!”.

There you have it. 10 signs your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is about to
break up with you. Again, I cannot stress how important it is that you
keep an open mind and look at these so called “signs” objectively.
People are different and as such I cannot give you specific advice
unless I know you and your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Are you ready for the ultimate sign he is about to break up with you?

11. You have the idea stuck in your head that he is about to break up with you
Ever hear the old saying: You are what you think? If on a daily
basis, you constantly think negative thoughts, chances are negative
things will happen to you. If on the other hand you think good and
happy thoughts, chances are these things will come. The logic behind
this reasoning is simple human psychology. You are what you think.
If you think you are a rockstar, eventually you will start to act like a
rockstar in real life. The same goes for being paranoid that a guy is
about to break up with you. Unless you have hard empirical evidence
that supports this theory, you are only setting yourself up for failure.
I would advise you to think long and hard and start keeping a mental
checklist before you go off the deep end. This will wind up saving you
face as well as your mental sanity.

I wish you the best of luck !!

Top 10 signs he is about to break up with you is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 creative ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend
2. 10 Signs He’s Not That Into You

Here is a nifty little divorce guide to dating:

I usually write articles about dating advice and relationships with singles in mind. Today, I want to specialize for a minute and talk about dating for divorced people. If you are not divorced, but know someone who is, email them this article in the hopes that it will help them out.

One of my best friends is recently divorced. She put up with 7 years of an abusive relationship and I literally watched her disintegrate before my very eyes. All of her girlfriends told her to leave the loser time and time again, but it wasn’t until she caught him cheating on her (on Thanksgiving, of all times) that she finally saw the light. Over the past few months she has tried various online dating services and is now currently a member of eharmony.com

When I asked her the reason (as a divorced person) why she chose eHarmony, she replied that she joined because it seemed that the people on there were generally more serious about a relationship, rather than just a one night stand. She also told me that her attorney had briefly mentioned that several of his prior (and current) clients had joined eHarmony a few months after their divorces.

I did a little research after we spoke and was told (source requested to be un-named) that there are a surprisingly large number of divorced people on eHarmony. This isn’t to say that 1 out of every 2 people you meet on eHarmony are divorced, but rather divorced people seem to flock to eHarmony after the fact because their pastors or counselors had suggested it. Another reason that was given was due to the fact that while you are married, you are completely out of the dating game. Over the years your “game” goes from pimp-daddy (or single-foxy-chick) to not being able to get a date if you were rubbed down with horny dater musk, put in middle of a field full of horny daters in the middle of horny daters mating season. eHarmony was a safe and relatively easy way to dip your proverbial big toe back into the dating waters. There is nothing more pitiful than going to a bar and watching your recently divorced best friend friend trying to desperately hit on guys half her age. True, she may be still hot and still able to attract young guys, but she isn’t thinking clearly. Psychologically, she wanted to fill that void that her (asshole) ex-husband filled all those years. Her choice in men (especially at a bar) was not the best and she was in no mental shape to be going out to bars trying to meet men after her divorce.

I personally take a keen interest not only in online dating, but relationships as well. I did my dissertation on online dating and am always curious about increasing my knowledge about relationships and online dating. I asked my friend if she would put together a little “dating after the divorce” guide and she agreed to let me post it here:

Dating after the divorce

Imagine me handing you a pamphlet entitled: “So you decided to get divorced”.

In it, would be a few suggestions that are based upon my recent experience with dating after a divorce.

1. While the divorce is still being finalized, it is NOT a good time to go out there and sow your wild oats. Granted, you may have been in a loveless, sexless relationship for “x” amount of years, but think about what the judge is going to think when your ex hires a private investigator and you are seen cavorting, half drunk, and going home with a guy you just met at a bar. Also, keep in mind that you are technically still married, until the judge bangs his gavel and pronounces you free from the ball and chain. Some eager attorney (Lord knows there are no shortages of them) could try to use that fling against you in court.

2. Let the old relationship go. It can be hard to just walk away from someone you have been married to, but the quicker you cut all ties (unless a child is involved) the quicker you can be on the road to recovery. There will be many hard nights and you might find yourself crying your head off a time or two, but realize that life goes on and you left your ex because you wanted a better life, and there is someone out there who will bring you that joy and fulfillment. With all this being said (and pretty obvious) don’t go back to your ex for breakup sex. It can only lead to bad things…

3. Bars. The first week after the divorce was finalized (and I got his Mercedes..yay me !!) I felt lonely. There was a huge hole in my house and heart that my ex used to fill. Even though he was the demon spawn of satan himself, I still felt alone. My friends tried to take me out to a bar the week after to cheer me up. Bad idea. A few (read: 7 or 8 ) drinks into the night, and I found myself acting like an 18 year old school girl in the boys locker room. Anything that moved I was instantly trying to hit on. My friends understood my situation, but told me afterwards that I made a complete ass out of myself that night. Lesson learned.

4. Dating. Meeting guys at the bars probably wasn’t the greatest idea, and I wasn’t surprised when what seemed to be a promising date, turned into the date from hell. I then joined up with Match.com and Yahoo Personals (I asked Karen to post the “7 day free trial to Yahoo Personals” link at the bottom of this page. I went on there for 1 week for free), and met a few guys on there, but it seemed as if noone was really interested in 37 year old recently divorced female. I saw a commercial on t.v. about eHarmony and that reminded me of what my divorce attorney had advised me to do. So far I have been on there for just under 1 month, and have gone out on one date. The communication process is lengthy and it actually gave me time to sit back and analyze my potential dates. Needless to say, the last guy I went out with has some real potential…..

So far I have been single for about 2 months, so I really can’t give you any more advice than what I have been through. Here are 10 little pieces of advice that I can give to you:

1. Get closure with your ex and leave it all behind you.
2. Allow your friends to support you, and cherish it. They are there to help.
3. Don’t jump back into the dating game, willy-nilly, and for God’s sake, don’t have sex right afterwards. It only leads to empty feelings and even more confusion (or so I read…)
4. Expand your social circle. Try joining a night class at your local community college. The idea is to put yourself back out there because the longer you sit and have a pity party for yourself, the harder it is to get back on with your life.
5. Assess your self worth. Make a list of what you are good at, and the good qualities you have to offer both yourself and someone else. Keep this list handy and refer to it daily for the first few weeks.
6. Don’t fall into a downward spiral. If you are an ex-smoker, or an ex-drinker, now is definitely not the time to take either habit back up. While it may kill the pain temporarily, it will inevitably lead to even more pain down the road, and you won’t see it until it’s too late.
7. It’s ok if you fail. After your divorce, you may realize that you need to be stronger than you ever have been before. This is true, but when you fail, it can be a damaging psychological blow to your psyche. Take each day in stride. I remember reading somewhere that even Abraham Lincoln failed in life at various things he tried, until one day he found himself President of the United States. Keep your head up.
8. Don’t slack up at your day job (if you have one). Divorces can put such a mental strain on you, that you start to slip in life….and nothing is worse than getting fired for poor performance on the job.
9. Make some “you time”. Make time to do something that benefits you. Be it shopping, a walk in the park, going to the movies, whatever.
10. Keep on keeping on. Realize that divorce is not the end of something….but rather it is the beginning of something: Your new life. Think of how many people in life wish they had chosen a different path, but for whatever reasons are stuck. Now that you are single again, you can do what you have always wanted to do.
——————————————————————————————————————-
Thank you to my friend for the above thoughts and comments on dating after divorce. I will continue to follow her trials and tribulations and report back on her progress. From time to time she will come back here and post her thoughts and advice on dating for divorced people.

Here is a freebie for you guys: (as requested by my friend)
Yahoo! Personals 7 Day FREE Trial offer

Did you know? attracts
the most divorced people of all the online dating sites out there?
I was told by someone in the industry that divorced
people flock to eHarmony because it is perceived
as a safe and easy way to get yourself back into
the dating game, without all of the pressure.
Online dating for divorced people is a great way
to “get your groove back”. There is nothing
more horrifying than getting back into the
dating game after several years of marriage.
eHarmony takes most of the pressure off
and lets you go at your own pace, a bonus
to that is that eHarmony attracts quality
singles, not the floozies you might find at
your local bar. Use this divorce guide to dating
as a road map to geting back into the game and
putting the past behind you and preparing for
a happy and successful future with the
love of your life !

Dating after the divorce is a post from: Online Dating Matches

No related posts.

When I began my online dating adventures some 6 months ago, I really didn’t know what to expect. As time progressed, it seemed to me as if there is some unwritten rule that a guy HAS to take a girl out to dinner on the first date. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be wined and dined like the best of them…but I think this unwritten rule needs to be changed up a bit for us folks who are active members of an online dating service.

Why?

For people who aren’t members of an online dating service, how often do they meet someone in “real life” that they are interested in getting to know? I don’t have an exact figure in mind, but let’s pretend the average single meets one person per month that they are interested in getting to know better. “1″ is a good number because for those of use with careers and hectic schedules, I can attest to the fact that I could go for as long as 3 weeks (completely engrossed in my busy life) without meeting anyone new.

So once a month you find yourself on a dinner date, trying to put your best foot forward and make all the right impressions (or not). The date goes great and you both have a great time (or not).

Now let’s look at the average female who actively participates in an online dating service. Let’s assume every week she meets on average 5 people that she might be interested in. During the course of that week she whittles those 5 down to 1 or 2 that she would be interested in meeting in real life. Now let’s do some basic math: 2 X 4 = 8. Two dates per week times four weeks in a month equals an average of 8 dates per month. Some might think that this is a little gung-ho, but for argument’s sake let’s pretend our average female dater is really set on meeting Mr. right in a fairly short period of time.

8 dates in a single month. Coincidence or not, back in October of this year I went on a total of 8 dates. Guess how many of those 8 dates started in a restaurant and ended with a hug after a boring movie? All but one. Guess who got a call back for a second date? All but one.

After the first 3 dinner dates, I found myself getting bored with the same ol’ same ol’. The dates went well, the conversation was there, but there was something missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I started comparing dates and realized that the best date that I went on was the one where I actually had fun while getting to know the person.

I think that guys should try to mix things up when taking a girl out on a first date, so I have compiled a little list of ideas of where to take a girl for your first date. This list may not apply to everyone, but the gist of this post is for you guys to use your imagination (without having it go too wild and having the date turn into a Tim Burton masterpiece).

1. Take a walk on the beach/strand/outdoorsy area.

2. Goto Starbucks and then take a walk around the immediate shops and area.

3. Art museum

4. Local charity event (eg: pick up trash in a marshland area or the beach…just make sure it is some sort of sponsored event, lest you ruin the romance by asking her to grab that hypodermic needle sitting off to the side)

5. Shopping !!! Every girl loves shopping, even if it is window shopping.

6. Cooking dinner together. This is a lot different than going out to dinner, as it involves interactive activities and is a really fun thing to do.

7. Riding bikes/rollerskates on the beach or trail.

8. DANGER !!! It is a well-known fact that some women are turned on by danger. Try suggesting bungee jumping or skydiving or something of that nature. Just don’t bring your 9mm along (with Snoop Dogg in tow) and go rob a 7-11 with your date still in the car and lead the cops on a wild police chase…..Keep it safe and keep it sane. Perceived danger is the best kind of danger because no one gets hurt (unless your parachute fails to open while you are sky diving….)

9. Animals. Nothing softens a girl up more than being around cute fuzzy little animals. Try going to a pet store or maybe take her out horseback riding.

10. Something she has never done before, but always wanted to do. I am going to leave this one open because every girl is different. Although I don’t endorse being sneaky and sly, I will make an exception for this one. When talking to a girl you just met through an online dating service, try to find out where she has been taken out on a date before and where she would really like to go. Ask your question during the course of normal conversation, and don’t make it too obvious. Then when it comes time for the first date, surprise her (with whatever it is she told you she wanted to do) and you will already have made a favorable impression on the girl (by showing her that you are a guy that DOES have a good memory) and you might find yourself already having a leg up on the competition.

Good luck !!

Why guys need to get creative when taking a girl out on a date is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date
2. Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women)
3. 10 kinds of guys you can expect to meet in an Online Dating Site

This is why I give you: Mike D.

Mike sent me an email complaining about how “women nowadays are too picky and have unrealistic expectations of the men they are looking for”. His email was long, and at times ranting. For some strange reason his email made me stop and question myself for a minute: “Do I as a female, have unrealistic expectations of the men that I date?”

Do females in this day and age have unrealistic expectations of the men we date as compared to how it was when our parents were dating? My mom once told me that “back in the day”, a “fella” would walk over to a girl in a poodle skirt and ask her out to an ice cream social. Two months later, BAM. Married with 10 kids, a job in the Aerospace industry and a Brady Bunch station wagon…… If some random guy walked up to me in the street and asked me if I “wanted to go get a hot fudge sunday”, I would probably kick him square in the family jewels and call the cops.

What has become of society?

Why have we become a society that places so must distrust in strangers? What happened to the good old days when you knew the names of everyone on your block and society overall seemed like a nicer place to be? I am 30 years old (give or take a year or two….mostly “take”) and old enough to remember part of the 70’s and how things were different back then. Are other 30 year olds out there experiencing the same things I am? What is your take on all of this?

While I pontificate further on the above pontifications, I would like to reprint part of the email (with his permission) that Mike sent to me. He did his own “top 10″ list and dared me to reprint it.

Here ya go Mike:

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….to the girl who made the “top 10 reasons why I won’t call a guy back after the first date” post, I just wanted to say that I think you are being nit picky and unrealistic. There is a reason why women like you can’t get a date….you fly off the handle at the smallest things and wind up going off the deep end for no reason at all. So I was a few minutes late for a date…is that any reason for you to not call me back? Let’s talk about the things that females do that make guys not want to call them back after the first date:

1. Your looked NOTHING like your picture on your online dating profile.
If the girl has some sort of weird camera angle in her online dating pictures, guys: turn and run. There is usually a good reason why a girls pictures look like Pablo Picasso arose from the dead, bought a cheap $25 digital camera and decided to experiment with photography. I am not trying to be mean here, it’s just that everyone in life has different preferences in the opposite sex. As cheap and shallow as it may seem, I want to have a fairly good idea of what you look like before we go out. Still think I’m being mean? Look at it this way: If you were in line behind me at the grocery store and we made eye contact and you found yourself not physically attracted to me, would you be inclined to carry on a conversation with me and give me your phone number at the end? It works both ways, sweetheart.

2. Yack yack yack
Is there anything more rude than answering your cell phone and yacking away with your girlfriend while out on a date? I understand if your Aunt Martha fell down a flight of stairs and forget to recharge the batteries in her life-alert bracelet and she just happened to be carrying her new iPhone in her pocket with your number on speed dial….I really do. But when your girlfriend calls you in the middle of our date and you start blabbing away about what you did last night for more than 5 minutes, I find myself slowly reaching into my pocket to fake a phone call from my Uncle John who happened to fall down a flight of stairs with his discharged life-alert bracelet and his new iPhone…

3. I am not sure whether to buy you dinner or ask your hourly rate.
I realize you may have certain “assets” on your body. Most women do. And being a guy, I do like eye candy. But if I am looking for a potential relationship out of you….there is nothing that will make me turn tail and run than if you come dressed with your boobs half hanging out in a short miniskirt and flirt with every guy that you see. (prolonged eye contact with other males does indeed constitute “flirting”). I realize that I may have broken the “guy code” here by telling women to cover up, but it is not what it seems. When guys (at least me and my friends) are looking for a potential relationship with a female we are interested in, we want to know (or at least think) that our girl is as pure as the driven snow when she is out in public.

4. Say you, Say me, Say it for always, that’s the way it should be…
If during the course of normal conversation the lyrics to the above Lionel Richie song start popping into my mind, I find myself looking for any excuse to end the date. I am not a male model, but I do realize that some women find me pretty attractive/borderline “good looking”. If while talking to me your eye gaze starts suggesting that I should don a 1980’s JerryCurl and neon Miami Vice overcoat and get down on my knees and start singing you a ballad, I’m outta there man. Read this article and hit “crtl” “f” on your keyboard and enter in “eye contact” to take you to the part of the article that dictates how proper eye contact should happen. Great, now I got that stupid song stuck in my head.

5. Pull my finger…
I am sorry, I realize that ladies do act like ladies most all of the time. But if you accidentally “let one go” and it is audible enough to ring the bell on the church 5 miles away….that just killed it. I realize that accidents do happen, but…..still. You might be able to salvage the date if there is a dog nearby and you deftly try to blame it on the dog. I am a big 3 Stooges fan, so the comedic value just might outweigh the shock value. A perfectly executed “Curly Shuffle” afterwards will result in bonus points.

6. I’m feelin’ it, you facial expressions and body language show otherwise, but deep down inside, you really are.
Guys are not mind readers. When I go out on a first date with a girl, I am a little bit nervous. Even though I can cover it up really well, I am most likely walking on broken eggshells until I find that comfort zone. During the course of the date I try to watch a girl’s facial expressions and body language to get a guage on whether or not I might get rejected if I ask her out on a second date. If I am not getting any perceivable signs that she is interested, chances are I won’t call you back or write you another email. I hate getting rejected and probably most guys do too. I have had more than a few girls call me back after I neglected to call them back after the first date, telling me how big of an “a-hole” I was for “leading them on”. Well if they had shown me some sign (any sign !!) that they were in the least bit interested in me, then I would have. Guys fear rejection too, ladies.

7. I just wasn’t feeling it
I really can’t break this one down any further. I am sure this goes both-ways without saying. If I am “not feeling it”, I will not lead you on, and you will know that it just isn’t happening for me. I would only hope that you have the same courtesy to do that to me instead of leading me on.

8. Red Flags
I am writing this “top 10″ list from the perspective of a guy who is looking for a relationship. If I was looking for anything else, I would probably not be as picky. I look for little “red flags” in women that suggest certain things/traits that I am not looking for. It’s a scientific fact that some women lie. I don’t know why this is, nor do I know the name of the scientist that made this incredible discovery. You will have to trust me on this one. So when I am out on a date, I purposely ask carefully worded questions during the course of normal conversation. If something isn’t adding up, I will slowly but surely zone in on the area that I don’t like, which brings us to reason #9:

9. Rule of 3
I am probably going to get shot by the “man counsel” for giving out this little gem, but a general rule of thumb (intelligent discretion must be applied) is that you take the amount of men that a girl says she has slept with, and multiply it by 3. I realize that there may be other formulas for this one….but my hippie community college professor once told me to stick with the rule of 3. Why am I telling you this? Because when I am looking for a relationship with a girl, I don’t want to know how many men you slept with (but i do). Does this make sense to you ladies? If not, then my work here is done.

We now come to the final (and most important) reason why men never call women back after the first date. This will undoubtably go down in history and will make me untold millions of dollars and I will be featured on Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer.

The last and most important reason why men don’t call women back after the first date:

10. There was a good football game on t.v. the next day and we plain forgot.

To the author/owner of this website, I can only give you one piece of advice here. You need to lower your standards, sweetheart.

To all the women who are wondering why a guy never called them back, I have just one piece of advice: FORGET ABOUT IT. There is a reason (be it good/bad or otherwise) why the guy didn’t call you back. Maybe he didn’t like you, maybe he did like you and is too shy to call you back, maybe he lost his cellphone that had your number on it. Whatever the reason, he isn’t calling you back. Get over it and move on. There are WAY too many proverbial fish in the sea to get all worried and bent out of shape because a guy didn’t call you back. I can’t even begin to count how many women in my life haven’t called me back. It’s just the name of the dating game and the nature of the beast. Cry yourself a river then build a bridge and get over it.

Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Top 10 reasons why I won’t call you after our first date
2. 5 More Reasons Why Women Won’t Call You After The First Date
3. Why guys need to get creative when taking a girl out on a date

Edit #2: The second part of this “top 10 reasons why guys won’t call” is now posted. In it, I reprint an email sent to me by a guy who had a bone or two to pick with the following article:
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Valentines Day has come and gone. Have you found that special someone yet? Chances are if you are reading this article….maybe? not?

I am a current member of , and have been for almost 5 months now. I have met some really nice guys on there, and am currently dating one of them. In looking back at some of the dates I have gone out on from guys that I met through friends or in real life, a few guys have probably wondered why I did not call them back.

So without further adieu, here are my top 10 reasons I will NOT go out on a second date with you. I have to be honest….this is going to be pretty brutal on some people. I’m sorry. These are just common courtesy things you must do in order to make a great first impression on someone.

1. You showed up late to our first date without calling.
This one is pretty self explanatory. Unless you are a heart surgeon and the triple bypass surgery you were operating on went into double overtime, you had better have a good explanation as to why you were late. I understand that traffic issues and transportation issue can cause people to be late to a date. Wildly assuming you don’t have a cell-phone, forgot your morse-code device at home and the blanket used to make smoke signals is tattered and torn, for pete’s sake, when you finally do arrive late try to have at least a plausible excuse. Alien abduction/subsequential probing/you helped a little old lady escape a burning house fire, anything will do. Just don’t waltz on over to the table and pretend that nothing happened. This shows that you are unreliable, and if I can’t trust your word on the first date, how am I supposed to trust you in a relationship?

2. Baby stink-breath (and jacked up teeth)
If I can smell your stank breath from 10 feet away, what in god’s green earth makes you think I would want to kiss that sanitation dump? Try brushing your teeth before a date. I realize that not everyone has perfect teeth (me neither) but at least bleach those suckers so that they don’t look like an army of miniature gold miners have set up camp in your grill. If your teeth are seriously jacked, and you can’t afford the $10,000 cosmetic dental procedures, then try looking up your local dental school. They offer discounted rates to get quality dental work done by students (under the stern supervision of their instructors, of course).

3. Nervousness
Granted. Everyone gets nervous on their first date. But it shouldn’t get to the point where your hands are physically shaking and you stare at me with a blank stare on your face. I went out on dinner date at a local sports pub/diner and I immediately noticed something was wrong when the guy did not make eye contact with me when we first met. After we had sat down and ordered, there was absolutely no small talk. I had to carry the entire conversation and it was downright painful. Every question that I directed at him was a cue for him to take the proverbial ball and run with it. His answers were a short “yes” and “no” and the lovely “Umm, I don’t know” followed by a nervous laugh and another blank stare at me. Not everyone can show complete confidence and even fewer people can fake their way through it. Before you go out on another train wreck of a date, try to spare yourself the embarrassment before hand. Join a local Toastmasters club or take a night class at your local community college. This is a great way to get over the jitters that are accompanied by meeting new people for the first time. I might take you a few months to get your proverbial game in check, but at least this way the next time you go out on a date, your hands won’t be shaking so violently that you get more salt on the table than you do on your fries.

4. Psychics
I cannot stand it when I am out on a date with a guy, and during the course of a normal conversation he starts talking in a future tense. Example: I was out on date with a guy and we hit it off pretty well. 1/2 way into the conversation, he starts talking about “our next camping trip” (I like to go camping) and that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. True, I had told him that I like to camp, and was planning a trip in the not to far future, but for him to assume that I am going to take him with me after only knowing him for a few hours was completely out of line. Throughout the night, he kept planning future dates and future events for us. I mean, if I had found the love of my life (and had a few glasses of vino) then I might have played along. But not for someone who I have only known for a few hours. The creepiest part of the date was when he asked me “what should we name our first born son?” CAMERIERE !! IL CONTO, PER FAVORE !!!

5. Stalkers
Oh lordy….I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have had to change my email address to avoid the guys who just couldn’t take a hint. We had gone out on one date, it was pretty obvious to the both of us that there was no chemistry whatsoever and we agreed to end it on a pleasant note. The very next day I got an email from him, asking me if I wanted to come over and “watch a movie” at his place. I politely responded back that I was still not interested and wished him the best of luck. Whoops….looks like I touched on a raw nerve because the very next day I got a 3 page email blasting me for being a “total and complete bitch” and how “women like me deserve to be single”. He then went on to very eloquently say that he couldn’t understand why all women did this to him……yikes. So he continued this email barrage for another two days until I sent him a strongly worded cease and desist complete in my best legalese to date (I knew all those years spent in law school would come in handy someday) and he finally got the message. Girls, if you have an email stalker, the best thing to do is to Google a “cease and desist” letter and change it to your liking. Tell him that he is “walking a thin line between communication and stalking” and make it clear that you have no further intention of continuing the conversation with him. That usually does the trick. If it doesn’t, contact your local police department via email and forward them a copy of the emails and “cc” them in your cease and desist email.

6. Einsteins theory of stupidity.
Nothing turns a girl off faster than some anal-retentive jerk who talks down to us in a condescending tone throughout the entire date then expects us to fall head over heels for them. I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I just can’t wait to call a guy back the next day after he stomped all over me like a dead carcass the night before. If it smells like a rose and looks like a rose and sounds like a rose on a date, it is probably a stinking pile of you-know-what. I met a guy once for a dinner date who was a supposed prominent attorney, only to come to find out he had failed the bar 3 times in a row and was working as a administrative assistant for a local attorney. During the course of the dinner date I could not get a word in edge-wise over how many court cases he had won and how he was “this close” to becoming a partner etc. et al. Loser.

7. Rudeness to your waiter
I recently read on CNN.com that the majority of CEO’s worldwide say that you can tell a man’s character by the way he treats others, waiters in particular. People that are rude to others or treat them like dirt usually have a bad character. If you are rude to someone who is trying to help you enjoy your dining experience, what are the chances you will treat me the same way? For me, this goes beyond eating in restaurants. I like to give guys who pass muster with me on the first date a little test on the second date. I will take him to Starbucks or anywhere else for that matter. Not any Starbucks, but one with the most incompetent cashier/server that I have ever encountered. Someone SO bad, that most people go out of their way to be nicer to this person. If my date is rude or starts getting huffy or pissy with the server, I will instantly fake a phone call from a friend and leave mr. big shot to sit and wonder why I left after only 10 minutes on the date.

8. Rapmaster “B” and the Funky Bunch
Maybe I should have entitled this one “How to speak proper English”. Nothing turns me off more, than someone with bad grammar. When first communicating with a guy via email, he has the luxury of using the spell check before he sends off his letters of woo to me. On a date, if I hear any of the following words during the normal course of conversation, it’s over: (guys take note)

Ummm Bro, if you was like gunna come to me with that kinda language on the first date…..bro, you had better prepare for the shortest date in your life cuz I’m fixin’ to bail on your sorry no-grammar-having a$$.

9. Nice shoes, wanna screw?
There is a proper time and a proper place for strong sexual innuendos. The first couple of dates are NOT said proper time. Don’t say it, don’t even think it. There is nothing more pathetic than someone who turns every word a girl says into something sexual. I don’t care how big you are, how many girls you have been with, how “great of a lover” you are. Maybe the last ho-bag that you dated did, but as a proper respectable female, I do not. I am pretty sure most other women will agree with this statement. Treat us like the proper ladies we are !!

10. Not taking a hint.
Guys: Women look for chemistry on a date. In this day and age, men with good looks and lots of money and tons of charm are a dime a dozen. I don’t care how big and buff you are. I don’t care what kind of care you drive. What I do care is the chemistry that I perceive to feel on the first couple of dates. If it isn’t there, cut your losses and end it. Most women are too nice to break it off with a guy they aren’t really “feeling it” with, so they agree to go out on one or two more dates. You should notice something’s amiss when we aren’t making direct eye contact, or our body language suggests that you take a long walk off a short pier, or you catch us smiling and flirting with a cute guy that happens to be sitting near us.

Well there you have it. 10 reasons why I will never call you after our first date. I realize that I did not give any ground-breaking insight into the female mind here as that was not my intention. I think that in this crazy day and age of online dating, people should really start getting back to the basics. Common courtesy will do us all some good. After your next failed date, come back to this page and reread the above 10 tips and ask yourself if you did any of the above.

If I can summarize this entire post into one statement it would be this: Treat everyone you meet in life with the same respect and courtesy you would wish upon yourself. I think this entire world has gone ape sh!t nuts and the root cause of it is simple lack of respect for one another. It’s as simple as that folks….let’s try to respect each other. Life is too short to be angry or walk around with a chip on your shoulder. If there is a problem, instead of blaming it on someone else, try to fix it yourself.

Hopefully this post will help some clueless soul out there become successful one of the dating sites this holiday season.

Top 10 reasons why I won’t call you after our first date is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 5 More Reasons Why Women Won’t Call You After The First Date
2. Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date

Let me know if this particular scenario sounds familiar:

You are at the local coffee shop (or bar) and right in front of you stands a really cute girl. She feels you looking at her, so she looks over at you and flashes you a smile. Your heart starts beating faster, your face turns a little red in color, and you instantly become self-conscious. Your mind starts racing a hundred miles an hour, trying to think of what to say to her.

Your mind is drawing a blank.

You want to talk to her, you know you can keep up a conversation, but you can’t think of “the right thing to say”.

As a female, and a “hot chick” , I cannot even begin to count how many times I have had guys wuss out on talking to me. It never fails….I am at a bar with my girlfriends and across the way I see a cute guy. I try my best to make eye contact with him and give him a smile. What does he do? Throws a half-assed, forced smile back and instantly breaks eye contact. Little did he know that if he had the balls enough to walk over to me and say “hello”, that he could have easily gotten my phone number. It’s that easy.

Then, later on that night as you are driving home, you instantly think of 100 things you could have said to me, and swear to yourself that the next time you see a cute girl, you will walk up and talk to her. Funny….wasn’t this the same thing you told yourself the last time you blew it by not having the courage to walk up and talk to a girl?

Well I might be able to help you.

Simon has spent the past 20 years of his life perfecting his game. He teaches men not only how to pickup women, but gives out dating advice and relationship advice. In the truest definition, he is the ultimate ladies man. He has created a very successful career for himself by teaching guys how to pick up women without using cheesy pickup lines and without looking like some loser who is just out to get a number. Simon has been featured on E, Starting Over, Dateline, ABC News, CBS Good Morning, Inside Edition, MTV, Fox News, The Learning Channel, Party at The Palms, BBC, WB, Blind Date as well as many other daytime talk shows.

As a female, I honestly hate it when guys try to “pick up” on me. Nothing looks more pathetic than some loser ambling over to me, fumbling around, stuttering his words, not making eye contact, with the sole intention of only getting my phone number. Simon’s approach is simple and genuine. This is how men SHOULD be picking up women in bars and at coffee shops. You don’t even have to have good looks, a six digit bank account and packing 10 inches…..you just need confidence, and Simon is the man to help you with your game. I honestly don’t like the word “game”. “Game” suggests that you are doing just that. Playing games. I (and almost every other girl out there) like to be approached in a genuine, honest manner.

(edit by Karen) (Removed the link and changed the name of the person for editorial reasons. Will update this post when I find someone else that fits the bill above.).

How to pickup women 101 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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1. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You
2. 5 tips on how to talk to women (and not put your foot in your mouth)
3. How to Talk to Women if You are Shy and Nervous