If you are thinking of hitting the sheets with a guy right after your first date-don’t! I repeat…This is a bad idea. You know your local bag guy at the corner grocery store better than you know this guy. Even if he has said all of the right things, you do not need to be bedding down with him. If you wait, it’ll be even better after the fourth date or the date after that. I don’t have a steadfast rule on how many dates you need to go on before you do sleep with a guy but it really needs to be at least after a few. Guys like the chase. If you give in right away, where’s the mystery? There isn’t any. And for great sex, you need to have a build up. There’s no build up if you are sleeping with him right away. You just come across as easy. It’s true. Go on; ask some of your guy friends. They’ll tell you the same thing.

A good way to avoid nooky on the first date is to avoid a lot of alcohol. I know, alcohol helps you to relax but too much and you’ll lose your inhibitions and your shirt by the end of night. And no one likes a sloppy drunk. Have just a couple of light drinks and drink water the rest of the night. Your head and you dignity will thank you the next day.

If you are worried about what the guy will say then be prepared with a response if he asks you about it. You can tell him that you are interested in him but you feel like in order for things to move forward, you will need to wait until the time is right. Tell him that you are sure that he can understand that because he has been such a gentleman all night long. If he pressures you, this should send up red flags that this is not the guy that you want to be with. You deserve better!

Sex does not equal love. And girls, just because you sleep with a guy this does not mean he is in love with you. It also does not mean that by sleeping with him, you’ll be able to make him fall in love with you. You are much smarter than that and you need to show him that there is more to you than what is between your legs. Sex, I repeat, does not equal love.

Think of it like this…If you wanted ice cream, right now, and you went out and bought some and ate it, then it would be good. But if you could not have the ice cream, then your desire for it will grow stronger and stronger as the days or weeks go on. And when you finally do taste that Chocolate Chip ice cream that you have been dreaming of it tastes amazing!

I don’t know any guy, worth dating, that doesn’t respect a girl for waiting awhile to sleep with him. It also shows him that you are not sleeping with just any guy that pays for your dinner. You will show him that if he treats you right and you two continue to have a good time together, then and only then, will he get some.

You deserve to value yourself and by “saving” yourself until you feel that the time is right, you will be doing just that. You will be making your relationship with this guy stronger by making him wait. You increase his desire and we all know that increased desire is a good thing. You are his Chocolate Chip ice cream with whip cream and cherries on top. I’m all for a good roll in the hay, just make sure that you are rolling around with the right cowboy.

Should you sleep with a guy on the first date? is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Last week I was at a local pub with one of my buddies. He met a girl and they seemed to hit it off really well. After a few hours I left (by myself) and figured he would call the next day telling me about how he scored with this pretty hot chick. About 2am, I get a phone call from him telling me that he wasn’t able to close the deal.

I kinda shook my head as I was certain that he was going to (at the very least) get this girls number. My buddy is not a shy guy and he has no problem striking up conversations with beautiful women. So much so, that I try to take a few lessons from him when we are out drinking together. In short: his social skills are about 10x that of any normal guy out there.

Being that my day job is coaching guys and girls on how to succeed in dating, I decided to research this a bit further. Turns out this little issue affects more guys that I knew about. They go out at night and meet a cute girl, chat her up for the entire night and aren’t able to close the deal. I was always under the impression that it should be the other way around…..how TO talk to a girl….once you have her attention, the rest just falls into place. So let’s take a minute here and go back to basics.

Availability

Sometimes guys make themselves too available to the women they are talking to. They agree on everything she says, and really don’t challenge her mentally. It’s not that the guys aren’t smart, but rather they let their defenses down for a minute thinking that this girl represents home base (and an easy score). Once you have a girls attention at a bar and find yourself talking to her for more than a few minutes, take a few to analyze the situation. What are you guys talking about exactly? Business? Pleasure? Her great Aunt Mary whose cats just had kittens? If you notice her starting to listen more than she speaks, this could be a sign that she isn’t being challenged enough.

Play hard to get….

Example (and true story): I met this smoking hot Polish girl a few years back. 5′10 blond/blue perfect body. In short, she was waaaay out of my league. Whatevers. I’m a “what you see is what you get” type of guy, so it really didn’t bother me. So on our second date, we went out to a club. Being the lush wino that I am, I set my sights on getting plastered in the first 15 minutes. Not because I was nervous…but dammit, I wanted to drink ! When I’m that drunk my fat mouth and quick wit start doing their own thing.  It was enough to say that at that particular point in time, a shit I gave not. I knew this girl was a little bit out of my league and I honestly didn’t care. I was out to have fun with a smoking hot chick that night, period.

As the night drew on she invited me out on the dance floor. I got out there and started doing my thing. There were several other cute girls on the dance floor and I couldn’t help but stare at their breasts and rub up against their asses. The girls seemed to reciprocate so it was all good. The next thing I know the girl that I was with was physically pulling me away from the other girls so I would be dancing with her. This happened about 3-4 times before she finally dragged me off the dance floor and sat down in my lap on a barstool.

Needless to say, she became my girlfriend a few days later.

Psychologically speaking, what happened here was that I was dating a girl with semi-low self esteem. I don’t think she fully realized her value “on the market” and as such the act of me dancing with other girls whom she deemed “cuter than her” was enough to trigger a predatory response. Not all women are like that….but a good portion of them have low self esteem. Want to potentially get to first base that night? Make yourself less available by talking to other women. Don’t be a dick about it, do it with style/class and a smile on your face so that she doesn’t think you are being an ass on purpose. Your goal is to make her think that she is going to lose you to another girl who is cuter than her (in her mind).  It’s kinda like playing a fish on the line….give it enough line and it will swim away.  Pull hard and tight on the line and it will most likely break.   You need to find the perfect balance so that she is thinking to herself:

“God, why does every guy I talk to always go for the girls who are cuter than I am?”

Throw in a few shots of vodka into her head….and you kind Sir, will be knee deep in the good stuff that night or at the very least get her phone number.

There are many “self help” websites out there that show you little tricks on how to pick up women. I’m going to skip over all of that stuff assuming that you either already know it (common sense) or aren’t buying into it. The little story that I just related is just one of many ways to “set the hook” and get the girl’s full undivided attention.

It’s 2am. The bar is closing and you are getting tired. If you are like most guys, the first words out of your mouth to that cute chick you have been talking to all night are probably somewhere along the lines of: “Hey, so why don’t we continue this conversation over at my place” or the ever-popular “Can I have your number”.

NO, NYET, NEIN, NAUGHT, NO !!

If you aren’t 100% certain that she will do what you ask….why set yourself up for failure?

For that entire 2-3 hours that you were talking to her, you should have been mentally and subconsciously laying the ground work for either

a. Taking her back to your place
b. Getting her phone number

If you find yourself talking to a girl you met at a bar for more than 30 minutes, you should have enough information about her to give her a reason to want to see you again. Did you have anything in common?

Save the whales?
Keen on Jesus?
Release the hounds?

There has to be at least some common ground you guys found during that conversation. Take said common ground and subtly use it to get her back to your place or her telephone number. I can think of a million reasons to ask a girl for her number.  You should have gotten her number prior to the night ending. That way the pressure is off and your aren’t (in a drunken stupor) trying to figure out how to get her back to your place after last call.

Good luck, fellas ! dcvt2yexs8

How to close the deal with a girl you just met is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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2. Why guys need to get creative when taking a girl out on a date

So since one of my favorite holidays is coming, I got to thinking about costumes. Every year, women everywhere start to workout a bit harder and eat a little less just so they can fit into their “sexy fill-in-the-blank” costume. And I got to thinking, which costumes are the sexiest. Now, mind you, there is a fine line between sexy and slutty. You want to show enough skin so that men are definitely drooling but not too much that someone offers you a hundred dollar bill to go with them into the backroom. So what are the best sexy Halloween costumes? Well, here is my list:

1. Sexy Little Red Riding Hood – What man could resist a little lost woman in a hot red outfit looking for her grandmother and turned on by wolves. No one. This is a surefire way to get men everywhere wishing they were lost in a forest with you and playing Mr. Sexy Wolf.

2. Sexy Alice in Wonderland - Oh, Alice. This is essence of what men think about when they think of pure and sweet and so sexy. They will want to hit the sheets with you just to see if you are like little Alice or more like a queen of hearts in the bedroom. This costume is sure to turn any man mad with delight!

3. Sexy Witch – It is Halloween after all. So what is Halloween without a sexy witch? It is like Christmas without Santa Claus. You are the star on Halloween night. Just don’t forget your broom to beat off any unwelcome guests.

4. Sexy Devil -Ah, the devil. Every reason a man wants to be bad. You can make a good boy turn to the dark side with this costume. It screams HOT-literally. You will be like a billboard that reads “Go on be, naughty.”

5. Sexy Cat Woman – The Black Leather Goddess. It conjures up great memories of Halle Berry that every man still has locked in his head. You get to be a badass with a whip and that, is purrrrrfect.

6. Sexy Cheerleader – This is a costume sure to please. What man hasn’t had a cheerleader fantasy? Come on. It has everything rolled up into one. The idea of sports, sex and a hot cheerleader. Include a cold beer and a man has definitely died and gone to heaven. Goooo Cheerleaders!!

7. Sexy Prep School Girl – Yes, the cute plaid skirt. School memories have sent men reeling for ages over the thought of this outfit. Then there are the wonderful memories of Britney hitting us one more time in it. You will move to the head of the class in this Halloween costume.

8. Sexy Little Bo Peep – Poor Little Bo Peep. She lost her sheep. Now what’s a girl to do? She needs to find a studly Sheep Farmer to go find them. And while he’s at it he will probably run into Sexy Little Miss Muffet. Where that goes from there is anyone’s guess…

9. Sexy Officer – No one likes to see the Law Enforcement come a knockin’ unless you are playing a sexy female cop in a very small costume. Then the guys will all beg to be handcuffed and put away by you. Make sure to read them their rights first and use force if necessary.

10. Sexy Nurse- Every man you meet will suddenly have a sore throat when you are doing your rounds. Watch out for their blood pressure when they see you in this costume. And for every good nurse out there, there is always some sexy doctor who is willing to give you a checkup, too.

If not listed, what’s your favorite sexy Halloween costume to wear at a party?

Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costume Ideas for 2009 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Read the below paragraph. If it sounds like something you would do, it’s probably in your best interests to pay close attention to the rest of this short article.

Close your eyes and think back to the last time you were at a bar on a Friday or Saturday night with a group of your guy friends. After the first couple rounds of drinks and your buddies started mixing and mingling with the lovely females that surrounded you, did you notice yourself starting to glance around the bar (perhaps nervously) looking to make eye contact with a cute chick in the high hopes she would reciprocate? When you made said eye contact, did she wink slyly at you, make the “come here, you big stud” motion with her finger or did she glance away withoutsomuch as even a smile?

As the night drew on, did you find yourself standing (or sitting) in the corner of the bar by yourself….grasping the bottle of beer in your hand and nervously sipping it…to the point where you started to notice how much you were drinking?

When you finally got enough liquid courage inside you and figured “it’s now or never” and walked over to a girl….did you actually know what the hell you were talking about when you were trying to spit some game to her? Was the (nervous) laughter that was coming out of her and her friends mouths laughing with you, or AT you?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Here is the secret on how to talk to women if you are nervous or shy:

Practice, practice, practice. You can search the interenets far and wide and will not come up with better advice. Practice makes perfect, young padowan.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Let’s analyze the above bar scene and see just what you did wrong that night:

1. You went out to a bar, knowing full well that you are shy/nervous and “not too good at talking to the ladies”. You set yourself up for failure the second you walked out your front door with even the slightest hope that you would meet a girl that night.

2. You let your buddies leave you at the bar (to go talk to the women) by yourself. Women can smell desperation a mile away and even if some chick was looking for a pity f#@% that night, the sight of you by yourself…..looking like a deer caught in the headlights was cause enough to make her rethink her original plans of going home alone back to someone named B.O.B.

3. As you struck out alone you decided to get even drunker to mask your nervousness….not fully realized that it exacerbated it by about 150%.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————–

To save yourself from future failure, I would advise you to do the following:

When you go out to bars with your buddies, take some time to relax and realize that you probably aren’t going to get a girls number that night. Once you have the “anything goes” mental attitude, the battle is halfway won. This relaxed mindstate allows you to be you, and if by chance a female does strike up a conversation with you, you won’t be as nervous as you would have if you were expecting it.

Going back to my original statement: Practice, practice, practice. Here are 3 easy ways to get practice in talking to women:

1. Goto local coffee shops and pick a seat and sit. Don’t bring your laptop, don’t bring a book. Just park your ass in a chair and sit. Force yourself to sit even if it feels uncomfortable. If you are lucky, a girl might sit down next to you, but I wouldn’t expect it. If someone does strike up a conversation with you, go with the flow. The point of this exercise is to force yourself to stay in situations that you might deem “uncomfortable” or “awkward” due to the fact that you are surrounded by strangers and have no idea who might come by to talk to you. It is critically important that you de-program the “wall flower” out of your subconscious prior to moving on to step #2.

2. After a week or two of the coffee shop (or any public place) you are probably a bit more relaxed now being in public in social situations. Good, but you’ve got a long way to go. Join an online dating site. I would advise Match.com or Yahoo Personals. The reason being is that both dating sites are more casual than some of the higher end online dating sites (like eHarmony). Create a profile, using clear pictureS (plural) of yourself. When it comes time to write the “about me” part, just be honest. Now, start browsing your ass off at the females on the personals site and send at least 50 emails. Do it canned style. We are going for quantity, not quality here. Chances are that at least 1 female will write you back. It is now your mission to get her phone number and start chatting your little ass off over the phone.

Do this repeatedly with as many women as you can, then set up a few dates. After a while you will start noticing your confidence building ….so much so….that you don’t even think twice when it comes time to talking to a girl you have never met before in public. It is just second nature.

I used to work for a very small company that showed guys how to overcome shyness in public and give them the tools and abilities they needed to talk to women in real life. I used the exact same methods/techniques in real life for my clients. For the entire 1 month program, we charged $1500.00. Every single guy (about 40 of them) that I worked with came out a confident, new man.

So pretty much I just gave you a $1500 crash course in how to talk to women if you are shy or nervous. For free. It will take you about a month (give or take) to develop the necessary skills to be good enough to stand on your own when it comes time to talking to women. Feel free to leave a comment or question below and I will respond within a few hours (give or take).

I don’t know what else to do/say to help you out…? Does shock treatment work best for you?

Have you considered dating men, perhaps?

How to Talk to Women if You are Shy and Nervous is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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2. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You
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If you or someone you know is always saying “I’m tired of being single” but doing nothing about it…..join an online dating site. Pick anyone.
If you think it costs too much, simply cut back on other things in your personal life. Don’t go out to lunch (when you are at work) on Fridays.
Instead pack a lunch.

Make it a point to send no less than 3 emails a day for 2 weeks straight. Playing the odds game, sooner or later you will meet someone you click with. Right now the online dating sites are experiencing a tremendous upswing in new members. This is partly due to the economy (NY Times had a recent article about how the online dating sites are experiencing huge membership levels due to the economy) and partly due to the fact that the weather is getting a bit colder and those that are single are starting to realize they had better get on the proverbial ball if they want to meet someone in time for the upcoming holiday season. Nothing sucks more than to be by yourself on the holidays (trust me, I know).

If you are looking for a specific online dating site, check out the reviews in the right hand corner. Each site that has online dating has their own particular strengths and weaknesses. One this is for sure….your chances at finding someone are almost 25 times greater with online dating than it is by going out to the bars or hoping for a chance encounter out in public.

Online Dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Hey Ladies !  My name is Matt and I was asked by the owner of this site to come on here and confess my sins:

I am currently cheating on my girlfriend of 4 years, and to be quite honest I have no intention of stopping.  The reason(s) I am cheating are many and varied.   I didn’t agree to come on here to be crucified by a bunch of jilted women.   If that’s the only thing you can say about me, take it somewhere else as you won’t be telling me anything I haven’t already heard.

It is my intention to explain to you how I have been able to get away with cheating on my girlfriend over the past 6 months.  A quasi penance from a mildly guilty conscious, if you will. For the remainder of this article, you will be taken inside my head as I go about my daily routine while trying to cover my tracks so my girlfriend doesn’t find out.

Here is some background information for reference:  I am 30 years old and have a college degree.  I am currently employed and make decent (not great) money for a guy my age.  I live with my 31 year old girlfriend of 4 years.  She has her college degree as well and works full time.  I have been cheating on her for the past 6 months with a 22 year old girl (Kelly) I work with.   At first I was paranoid about getting caught, but as the months flew by it’s gotten so easy that I honestly don’t give it a second thought.  Oh, and Kelly has no idea I have a girlfriend.

-  Rise and shine !

It’s 9am on Saturday morning as I roll out of bed next to my still sleeping girlfriend.   Last night I told her that I was going to go out and watch a movie with my buddies (and they were instructed to cover for me, should she call).  In reality I was having sex with Kelly at her apartment.   As I am making my way towards the bathroom, I quickly scoop up the shirt/pants/underwear I went out in last night and drop them in the clothes hamper.  Have you ladies ever found one of those “static cling” freshener sheets inside your laundry hamper?  That’s a great way to automatically get rid of any scents that should not be on your boyfriends clothes.  The greatest part is that if you happen to find it, you probably won’t think twice as it kinda sorta makes sense that you found one in your laundry hamper…

I grab a washcloth and bar of soap and immediately wash my hands, neck, face and “below the waist”.  That gets rid of any incriminating odors right off the bat.  I buy manly smelling bar soap that has a hint of a musky scent to it.  It is great for covering up scents that should not be on my body.   Any brand will do, but I find the best manly smelling soap comes from the .99 cent store.  It is so god-awful smelling that I could get sprayed by a ravenous pack of skunks and still come out smelling like a rose.

I look at myself shirtless  and do a quick once-over in front of the mirror to check for any bruises or nail marks that I might have gotten the night before.   All good !   I finish up in the bathroom and crawl back into bed ready to sleep in for a few more hours.   James Bond is my bitch.

-  The Best Defense is a Great Offense.

Like most guys, I watch a lot of football games on t.v.   The football teams that win more often than not have a great offense.  I try to apply that theory intelligently when it comes time to getting in fights with my girlfriend.   During the first 2-3 years of our relationship, my girlfriend repeatedly accused me of cheating on her whenever we got into a fight.  The funny thing is that I didn’t start cheating on my girlfriend until 6 months ago.  (Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Freud).

Even though I am good at covering my tracks…there are times when I swear she knows I am up to no good.  It is around those times that I intentionally pick fights with her and make cheating accusations.

Example:   A few months ago I accidentally feel asleep at Kelley’s house on a weeknight.   Woke up the next morning to my cell phone ringing at 6am.  It was my girlfriend, wondering where in the hell I was and why wasn’t I home getting ready for work.  I told her I got too drunk to drive last night while playing pool over at Chris’s house.  It got late and I forgot to call her.  Told her I was on my way home.  After she hung up, she immediately called my friend Chris and asked to speak to me.   Chris told her that I had just pulled out of his driveway in a bloody rush to come home.   All of my guy friends know what to say and when to say it.  It’s part of the “guy code”.

So the next day was Saturday and we were at Target shopping for misc. stuff.   She still didn’t quite believe my story and that entire morning I was being given the cold shoulder.  So while we were in line waiting to check out in Target, I noticed a good looking teenage kid who was working the cash register.  Luckily the line was shorter than the one we were in so I told her to move into that lane.   As I was getting my credit card out to pay, the good looking cashier kid started to make small talk with my girlfriend.   That’s all the ammo I needed.

On our way back to my car, I purposely accused her of flirting with the good looking kid and we fought for a good portion of the morning.  Needless to say, the heat was off.   Phew.

-  Bro’s Before Hoes.

Speaking of friends….you can forget about asking your boyfriends guy friends if he is cheating on you.  That’s like walking up to a parrot and asking it to recite the Gettysburg Address. It can’t be done.   My guy friends have a prepared script of answers and know how to stick to it.   Best of all, if you do start questioning your boyfriends friends about him cheating on you….how soon do you want to bet it will be before they run and tell him?

-  American Beauty.

When I first met my girlfriend, I had the body of any given average guy out there.  Not too fat, not too skinny.  So did my girlfriend.  When I met Kelly (5′8 blonde/blue 36C, perfectly flat stomach) it was lust at first sight.   Kelly only seemed to date guys that were big, buff and had arms like cannons.  Lucky for me she thought I had a great personality and was “really cute”.    After the first night I saw her naked, I realized I had better hit up the gym and hit it up fast.  I started working out 3-4 times a week hoping to get my 6pac and chest and arms buffed out before the end of summer.   My girlfriend was all for it and even suggested which protein supplements I should take.   Win-win situation !

-  Secret Agent Man

Text messages, emails and cell phones can leave a very incriminating trail.  So what’s a cheating boyfriend to do?  Cover Your Ass.   Since I work with Kelly, it doesn’t make any sense to text message/email or call her on the phone.  I simply come into work and occasionally bump into her in the hallway or break room.  Our coworkers have no idea as we treat each other like anyone else in the office.  Whenever it comes time for a booty call later that night, she simply walks over to my desk and places a unopened soda can on top of my inbox and vice versa.  If for whatever reason said booty call cannot take place, the soda is simply returned to her desk.

What about the weekends/holidays/random horny times when you aren’t at work ?

For the past 6 months I have been getting phone calls from a collection agency looking for a dude by the name of “Bob”.  My name is Matt !!   Sometimes my girlfriend picks up my cell phone when it is ringing from a blocked number.  The professionally sounding girl on the other end of the line identifies herself as “Shaniqua, from XYZ collection agency” and goes on a little spiel about how “not paying your bills can adversely affect your credit“.     Sometimes, I call that number back and tell them to “take me off your calling list or I will report you to the FTC”. Those are the times when I don’t go to Kelly’s house for sex.   Read in between the lines if that doesn’t make sense.

I’m going to give you ladies a free tip.  I cover my ass pretty good, but I’m sure there are guys out there who don’t.  Perform a Google search on your boyfriends email address, chat screen names and any identifiable piece of information about him you can think of.   Chances are if he went online to the car forums that he belongs to and posted a topic about how “I’m so over my current relationship” and asked for advice…..Google will have caught it in all its glory for you to read in the search results.  Google is very powerful and you should learn how to perform advanced searches.  You would be surprised what you can find with a little due diligence.  If you are certain that he is cheating on you via his home computer, perform a search engine query for the term “keylogger”.  When the FBI kicks down your front door, you didn’t get the idea from me.

Cell phone/Credit card bills (in print and online):  All of my passwords on my computer are changed once a month.  My emails/etc are locked down tighter than Fort Knox.  Cell phone bills?  I checked the “do not receive paper bills” for my AT&T wireless bill.  My iPhone has a “lock” feature to it where a 4 digit passcode must be entered prior to unlocking the phone.  Again, all ways of covering my tracks.

-  The-Low-Ride-er-is-a-Little-Higher…

Sometimes Kelly and I go out together on the town.  Yes it is very risky, but hell…when the words “I can has cheezburgerz?” come out my mouth at 2am on a Friday night, I’m having myself a cheezburger.  Kelly is 5′8 tall and weighs about 110 pounds.   My girflriend is 5′2 tall and weigh a little more.   So every time Kelly gets into my passenger seat, she has to move the seat back a bit and adjust the headrest etc.   I drive a 8 year old Audi and it has programmable seats so all I need to do is just push a little button and the seat goes back to the normal position.

I also ask my girlfriend to help me keep my car clean.  That means she cannot leave her shit in my backseat, including but not limited to:  Hairbrushes, purses, chick cd’s, anything that would give any indication that another female had been in my car.   I swear, most women have never heard the phrase:  A man’s car is his castle.

- Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign…

Women are adept at picking up “signs”.  Any slight deviation from the norm and their little ears perk up like cute little bunny rabbits, sharp forked tounges ready at the draw to nag us men to insanity.    With that being said, I keep my routines/schedules/etc to-a-“T”.   I make sure to let her know exactly when I’m going out, who I’m going out with and how long I will be gone for.  This takes all of the guesswork out of it for her.   Think back to when a certain dimwit was in office…whenever public opinion about him went down, the “terror alert” mysteriously went up.   Same goes for me.  Whenever I feel that my girlfriend might suspect something, I force-feed her pre-packaged information to let her know that I’m being the best possible boyfriend that I can be.   Halo over my head !   (pitchfork behind my back).

That’s pretty much about it.   The point I’m trying to make here is that if your boyfriend is determined enough, he will get away with whatever he wants.   If you suspect your boyfriend of cheating, it can be very hard if not impossible to prove such things.  You ladies cheat just as much as us guys do….and I’m sure more than a few of you get away with it right under your boyfriends nose.

- Matt K.

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- edit by Karen:  Matt sent me this article 2 weeks ago.   Good thing I waited until today to post it.  Apparently there has been an update in his situation.  Read on:

…I was busted last week.   My (now ex) girlfriend apparently had one of her guy friends that I didn’t know follow me out one night.  Told her I was going to Chris’s house when in reality I was making a beeline to Kelly’s apartment.   I don’t know the exact details, but from the bits and pieces that I garnered, he started following me 1 block from where I live.  When I got to Kelly’s house, he took a picture of my car and of me at her front doorstep.   This is where it gets a bit strange…..apparently he went into her backyard (she lives in a duplex apartment) and through the windows took a few more photos of me and Kelly getting it on.  I was confronted by my girlfriend last week and busted out with the “3 D” defense…you know:  Deny, Deny, Deny.   After about an hour of putting me on the hotspot, I thought I had gotten away with it….until her guy friend showed up at our front door with pictures in hand.

Just goes to show you that no matter how good and how determined you think you are….chances are that someone better and more determined (in his case, his girlfriend) will come along and expose you for the cheating scumbag that you are.    – Karen

Inside the mind of a cheating boyfriend is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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What about those times when you get a girls number and call her and she never calls back? This type of situation has more to do with the short period of time you spent talking to her and getting her number. In other words, your game. These types of situations are much harder to figure out why she wasn’t interested (or gave you the same phone number that the last 3 girls gave you: 555-1212) because of the short period of time that you spent talking to her. I am going off the assumption that you are spending anywhere from 5 minutes to less than an hour in your conversation with this new girl.

The aim for this article is to take a look at the first impressions a female gets from a guy she just met and examine the reasons as to why she declined to continue communication further. There are thousands of situations in real life that you could encounter a female. For this article, I’m going to pretend you are in line at a local store….be it the video store, CVS, bank, wherever. You are standing in a semi long line and there is a cute female right in front of you. So cute, that you feel the need to talk to her in an attempt to get her number. A good portion of the men out there don’t have the balls to at least try to talk to a female in that situation, so consider yourself 2 steps ahead of the game if you have made the decision to give it a shot and talk to her:

1. Lack of physical attraction

This one is a no-brainer. Simply put, you really had nothing to say to her that caught (and held) her interest and your physical looks aren’t attractive enough to her in order for her to overlook the fact that you are yet another horny guy looking to score some tail. Best advice: Join a gym, brush your teeth, buy better clothes….do something that compliments your looks.

2. Cute as a puppy, dumb as a rock

On the other side of the token, we have guys that could probably put someone like Brad Pitt to shame in the looks department…..but they tend to lack the cranial capacity to carry on an intelligent conversation. Guys like this generally don’t have a hard time picking up women. Sooner or later they will encounter a girl that is superficial enough to overlook the fact that he considers “Hop on Pop” a literary classic.

3. Creepy looking pervert guy

When women are out in public, they tend to have their defenses turned on. Especially if they are attractive. They are so used to guys staring at them that they tend to ignore it with a thinly veiled sense of hostility. If you find yourself staring at a female while in line, and she notices you….and doesn’t smile….there’s a good chance that she has already judged you as some creepy guy. Best thing to do is not make eye contact (don’t even think of giving her body the once-over with your eyes) and treat her like you would treat any other female that you weren’t attracted to. That way when you do open your mouth to speak, you have a clean slate.

4. Desperate Dan

Guys that are desperate REEK of desperation whether they know it or not. Subconsciously they are so desperate that their actions mirror their thoughts without them realizing it at all. Women are highly sensitive creatures and can smell desperation a mile away. Believe me when I tell you, it is a total turnoff. If on the day you are in line about to talk to a girl….ask yourself “am I feeling desperate today?” If so, save yourself some heartbreak and look the other way.

5. Can’t close the deal

So you finally found the balls to approach a female out in public. You got her attention and the first words that come out of your mouth are: “Sooo, I see you like the Tampax brand of tampons.” (The song “Shot Down in Flames” by AC/DC is going through my head right now…)

You need to step up your game in these types of situations. “What in the hell can I say to break the ice with a cute girl who is in line in front of me at the local drugstore buying tampons?” Good question. I can’t give you a right or wrong answer. This all depends on who you are as a person. Let your personality do the talking and if it clicks, you got yourself a phone number. If I were a guy in the same exact situation, I would think twice about talking to girl in line at a drugstore buying tampons. She might be a bit embarrassed in the first place (because you are talking to her while she is holding a box of tampons). If you absolutely have to talk to her, try your best to ignore what she is holding in her hands and instead make a comment like:

“Man these cashiers are sure slow today” or something that effect. Observational humor is probably your only recourse in a situation like this.

There are many more reasons why she didn’t give you her number. Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she isn’t into men…..maybe she just had a bad day and doesn’t want to deal with guys talking to her. My only advice to you guys is to play the numbers game and sooner or later you will meet the right female. Just don’t take it too personally when she gives you a dirty look and starts looking around for store security.

Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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“These things happen”.

There really isn’t much you can do when meeting the parents for the first time of your significant other. Either they like you, or they don’t. First impressions are hard to shake off and even harder to change once someone has judged you in their mind. Keep in mind that they are only trying to figure out if you are the right person for their little Johnny or Susie and will most likely have you under the proverbial microscope the entire time. You can’t change who you are, so instead try to tread lightly when meeting your boyfriend or girlfriends parents for the first time. I have compiled a few suggestions that you should keep in mind when meeting the parents of your significant other. Just because the first “meet and greet” went off without a hitch, doesn’t mean you are off the hook. Depending on each person, it could take months for their parents to accept you (if they are really judgmental). Best thing to do is keep a smile on your face and try to avoid doing anyone of the following faux pauxs:

I’m only listing 5 items this time. Everything else would be a waste of your time in reading this article. I could go on and on about “how to dress”, “what to say”, “proper dinner manners” etc, but I’m sure you already have that down pat. My intentions for this article are to help you with a few curveballs that might be thrown your way:

1. Discussing politics.

This reminds me of the time when a friend of mine was invited out to dinner with the parents of his new girlfriend. Over the course of conversation, the topic of the troubled economy was brought up and he took a few swipes at former President Bush. In his mind, it was a “safe bet”, since everyone he knew hated Bush and thought he was the Anti-Christ. Well, it turned out that her parents were HUGE Bush supporters….and after a few (well meaning) verbal pot-shots, the dinner became very uncomfortable.

2. Foul language/thinly veiled racism.

Just because his/her Dad is the re-incarnation of Ralph Kramden, doesn’t mean you need to follow suit in order to impress him. Even one small off-color joke overheard by a distant relative at whatever function you are attending can come back to haunt you. People talk. Relatives gossip. Keep your “F-You’s” and “those damn….” to yourself at the dinner table and beyond. Even if you don’t have one biased belief in your entire body….just one relative (cousin/brother/sister) who happens to overhear something you say, can take it out of context and really screw you over. Save the cusswords and off-color jokes for your friends/bar.

3. I’m not a Lawyer, but I play one on the internet !

Whatever you do, do not lie in order to impress his/her dad or mom. This is not a job interview, you can’t get away with stretching the truth a little bit. These people will be involved in your life the entire time you are dating their son/daughter and people have really good memories. People aren’t stupid and can tell the difference between “being nervous” and “trying too hard to impress”. The former is forgivable and quite natural, the latter might lead them to believe you have some to hide.

4. When in doubt, shut your fat mouth.

Ever heard the saying “Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself” ? Same goes for meeting the parents of your new boyfriend or girlfriend. If by chance his/her dad served in Army as an interrogator and you find yourself getting the third degree, just go with the flow. If you don’t know the answer to a question they are asking you, just tell them that you “aren’t sure”. Tis better to be thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and confirm it.

5. Sisters/brothers/cousins/aunts/uncles are all watching you….and making mental notes.

Just because her dad slapped you on the shoulder and called you “Son” in the first 10 minutes you meet him, doesn’t mean you are off the hook. If you are at a family function (especially one that is serving alcohol), keep in mind that the entire family is watching you. Even if they don’t act like it, trust me….your words and actions can come back to haunt you. Keep this in mind when you are talking to Uncle Tony and he starts telling you stories of “how much pot” he used to smoke back in college. Now is NOT the time to brag about the 10′ bong you and your buddies bought the other day. (a similar situation happened to me, although it didn’t involve pot. I met her Uncle at a family function and he started bragging about how many bar fights he got into “back in the day”. I related a few stories of my own in the spirit of the conversation. About a week later my girlfriend asked me “so how many fights have you been in”. Doh !)

Keep in mind that if her parents want to find out more information about you, they will. The first place they might start (in this day and age) is the internet. Ever “Googled yourself” ? Check and double-check your Myspace and Facebook pages and clean them up a bit. I have never heard of a parent hiring a private detective, but that doesn’t mean that their parents don’t have friends in high (or low) places that can get more information about you. I’m not just speaking to the potheads and Billy-Bad-Asses out there….ever go out on a night on the town with your girlfriends and a picture might have been taken of you kissing your girlfriends boobs? Gee, wonder where that picture is now? The point here is try to do some reputation management and get your ducks in a row prior to meeting your new boyfriend or girlfriends parents.

How to impress your new boyfriend/girlfriends parents is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Ladies:

I recently emailed Karen and asked her to allow me to give you a few tips on how to tell if a guy is or isn’t into you. I decided to write this article because I have run into a bit of a challenge in my dating life:

I would meet a girl, go out on a date or two with her, then suddenly realize that I was not interested in dating her anymore. Being that I am a guy…it was kind of hard to tell her that “Hey look, it’s just not working out for me, you’re a swell gal and will make some lucky fellow very happy”. I would try to drop little hints here and there, and for most girls that would be enough. With other girls….I don’t think I could give them a clue even if I were to rub them down with horny-clue-musk, put them in a field full of horny clues in the middle of clue mating season.

So to save me an countless other guys out there the headache and heartache of having to spell it out in plain English for you….here are 10 signs that a guy just isn’t into you.

1. Missed Connection

Think back to the last guy you dated for more than a few weeks. Did you find yourself talking to him on the phone much? Send more than a few text messages back and forth during the daytime? How quickly were your attempts at getting a hold of him reciprocated? Chances are he answered your texts or phone calls within a few minutes of you calling or texting, or at least freely gave you a reason as to why it took him a while to get back to you. When I’m not into a girl, my cell phone mysteriously does not get text messages from her and her phone calls tend to go straight to voice mail. Emails? Whoopsie, that stupid spam folder is acting up again.

2. Busy as a Beaver

“Gee Susie, I would love to hang out with you and your drunken slutty friends at the local bar tonight…..but I have been meaning to re-arrange my sock drawer now for ages. My socks have invaded the homeland of my underwear and my cowboy hat (you know, the real small one with certain “size issues”) has decided that my socks harbor weapons of mass destruction and are about to invade the drawer up on top. As you can see it’s a real Wild Wild West scenario going on here…

What am I doing tomorrow night? Uhhh…Need to go help Grandma dust her living room.”

In all seriousness, whenever I’m fed up with a girl I just met, I suddenly become super busy. I think 2-3 moves ahead so if she calls me out on anything, I always have a logical explanation as to why I’m busy. I would assume most guys out there are like that as well.

3. Me, Me, Me.

Whenever I’m just not feeling a girl, I tend to mentally check out. Like quicker than leaving a Best Western motel that smells like stale hookers and dead cockroaches. When I’m mentally checked out of the conversation/relationship, my thoughts and actions naturally turn to the most important thing in life: Me.
If she starts talking to me, I subconsciously steer the topic of conversation towards me. I quit trying to learn more about her and instead use her as a crutch for all of my issues/problems. Can’t beat free psychiatry while downing a pint or two at the local bar.

4. How YOU doin’ ?

If we are out in public and you notice me checking out other females….you can think to yourself one of two things:

1. “He’s a no good dog of a man.”
2. “Hrmm….Let’s see here….he is out on a date with me, but he is checking out other women. By George, I think I’ve got it ! He’s not into me !”

Oh how I wish #2 was the answer that was chosen more often.

5. Why can’t we be friends! Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be friends ??!!! @*#*$!!!

You know who you remind me of? My sister. I think you two would get along juuuust great. You sure are a swell friend. Knock, knock. Who’s there? (in a whispered voice: “your best friend”).

7. My own private strip club.

True story: (names and dates have been changed to protect my neck and legs, of which I have grown fondly attached to. Honestly, I think she was partially related to the mob and the last thing I want is for her to read this, get pissed and put a hit out on me).

So I was dating this chick who grew up in Antarctica. I liked her as a friend, but was having a very hard time getting her to understand that “friends” is the level where it needed to stay. So we decided to go on a nature hike one day…she wore a low cut shirt and some short shorts that day and the entire time she was brushing up against me. Even though I’m a guy, and even though most guys like me are clueless…I think it was a safe bet that she was trying to come onto me. So as we are finishing up our hike on our way back to the car she made the following random comment:

“My bra that I just bought is making my boobs pop out of my shirt”.

to which I replied (without skipping a beat):

“Did you save the receipt?”

8. You love me? I blehblahblah you too…

You see, it’s not that I’m incapable of expressing my emotions as a guy, but rather I am incapable of expressing emotions towards a girl that I’m not into. I tend to keep an active emotional distance from women that I’m not into and if you so much as dip your pinky toe over that line….it creates for a somewhat awkward situation.

9. Any Port in a Storm.

I will admit it. I have sometimes just stayed with a girl longer than I wanted to because the sex was so great (or I was in a real dry spell). A good way to tell that if a guy isn’t into you is to look at how often he wants sex and what happens after the sex. If he only calls you at 3am on a Friday night, drunk off his ass….and then leaves 20 minutes later, chances are he just isn’t into you. If he continually steers the topic of conversation towards the wants and needs of his ding-a-ling, chances are he just isn’t into you for anything else other than sex. At this point, you have 1 of 2 options. Dump the jerk faster than a bad habit, or continue to fool yourself thinking that sex will make him love you. (it never does from a guys point of view).

10. Survivor Man.

When it comes to females that I’m just not into, I try my hardest to not let them know where I live. Meeting my friends and family? Fugghedaboutit. Simply put: Let’s keep an amicable distance between us because I do not want you in my personal life.

There you have it. 10 signs that you can use to determine whether or not a guy is into you. Guys are not complicated and usually your first instinct is the right instinct. Don’t fool yourself, or waste any time/money/emotions on the guy. Move on and be the better person….

Even if you manage to change the guys mind, it will most likely be only for a while and even then you are just setting yourself up for future heartbreak. Just remember that you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. If it wasn’t meant to work, then it wasn’t meant to work.

10 Signs He’s Not That Into You is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Over the course of any given month, I get about 40-50 emails from people asking me for dating advice. Lately I have been noticing a trend amongst the females in which they are not able to get guys to respond to their emails. For illustration purposes, I am going to use my friend Sally who came to me with the exact same problem last week.

Sally is a very attractive 26 year old. She has a good job and comes from a great family. She is funny and witty and the exact type of girl that any guy would dream of dating. With one exception…

In the past week and a half, she has emailed about 15 different guys and not one has responded to her request for communication. I took a look at her personality profile, then took a look at her emails and found the root cause of the problem. I asked her to write an email to one of her matches, but not send it.

She gave me her permission to cut and paste the email into this post:

“Hi John ! I just got back from Pilates class and I’m tired. Work was just out of hand today…Had 3 meetings and the second one caused me to be late for the third one. Oh well, I shouldn’t complain because for the past 4 years I have been working towards this promotion and I guess it comes with the territory. After work I had exactly 30 minutes to drop my car off at the dealership before Pilates class began. The girl at the rental car place was taking her sweet time and the printer was malfunctioning so by the time I got out of there I was already 15 minutes late to class.

I guess this is just one of those days for me !

Well, hope you had a great day and ttyl !”

- Sally

Ok, so what we have here on the surface is a seemingly innocuous looking email from Sally to a guy named John. In it, she describes her hectic day and how nobody/nothing was on time. That nice….if “John” was the brand name of a diary that she picked up at Staples instead of a live human being.

When John reads this email, what is he going to think/say? I would consider myself a master linguist and even I would have a hard time responding to that email. Sally gave John nothing to go off of. She basically treated him as if he was her personal diary. This is extremely impersonal and basically says to John:

“Hey, I’m the center of attention here and TMZ and the Paparazzi should be following me around with a t.v. crew and camera to document the most mundane events in my life.” See you at 6:30pm on Fox Channel 11 right after the Simpsons !!

This email is a clear red flag to John that she might be somewhat self absorbed (perhaps a bit shallow) and atrocious at interpersonal communication skills. I have known Sally for almost 10 years and she does not fit into one of those categories. Sally is relatively new to online dating and doesn’t realize that there is an unwritten code of conduct when it comes to writing emails. I pointed this out to her and she told me that she really couldn’t think of anything interesting to say….

Sally met John through eHarmony. I told her that it was inexcusable that she could not think of anything interesting to say to him. Had she been a member of one of the “lower end” online dating services, wherein all you have to go off of is a cheesy picture and a couple of paragraphs of “about me” then I could plausibly understand….but not with eHarmony.

In a nutshell, before you are given the option to freely communicate with your matches on eHarmony, you must first go through something called “guided communication” wherein you have to choose 4 questions to send to your match. eHarmony already gives you the questions (or you can ask your own) and all your match has to do is respond to those questions either in their own words or pre-answers that eHarmony lists.

So before you get to the point where you can freely communicate back and forth in the eHarmony system, you have already gotten to know quite a bit about the other person. There is a ton of information that you can use to compose a very well written, thoughtful email to your matches on eHarmony.

I told Sally that she should have gone back to those Q&A “guided communication” section and pulled a couple of good questions from his answers. She could have asked him to expand upon his love for dining and cooking. She could have asked him where he plans on traveling this year since he told her that he loves to travel internationally. In the end, I took a look at her guided communication with John and created a sample email that she SHOULD have sent him in the first place:

“Hey John ! Well, we finally made it to open communication ! So tell me a bit more about your love for cooking….what’s your favorite cooking style? Mine is Italian. I don’t cook as often as I like to due to my sometimes hectic work schedule, but when I do I love to make the same pasta dishes that my Grandmother brought here from the old country. Any plans on going out of the country this year? I just got back from Hawaii a few months ago (for work). I haven’t been outside the country but am starting to do some research on flights as I would love to go to Italy this summer.

Anyways, hope you had a great day and talk to you soon !”

- Sally

The above email was short and sweet, yet to the point. In it, there are many topics of discussion that John can “pull from” to reply back with a great response. Trust me, if a man is into you….and you send him an email that is similar to what I just wrote, he will have no problem composing a great reply.

That email did not give out any irrelevant information about Sally (that would raise a red flag in John’s mind). Sally instead greeted him, picked out two things to further expand upon (that they briefly spoke about via “guided communication”) and then said her goodbye. Sally did not come off as desperate, needy, clingy or gave off any sort of red flags that would send John packing for the hills. It did however give John much information to pull from when he writes his reply back to Sally.

Long emails are fine….just not for the first 3 or 4 times you communicate. Long winded emails are a very good indication of chemistry and attraction, but when you start throwing out irrelevant information from the get-go, you are only scaring people away.

How to write a GREAT online dating email on eHarmony is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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…we somehow wound up in my bedroom. We were both heavily intoxicated and we wound up having sex. It was honestly the best sex I have had since….I honestly cannot remember when. After a few months of seeing each other (including a 3 some with his 20 year old friend) it kind of fizzled out. It was at this point I had apparently made a name for myself and had several young men in their late teens/early 20’s that were wanting to date me.

ODM: I see….so what exactly was it about 18 and 19 year old guys that did it for you?

Debra: At first it was the excitement of it all….then after a while it was really more about convenience than anything else. Everything was light and breezy….no pressure, no having to stress about going out or dealing with “issues” that most single men my age have. I did not need a man to take care of me financially, so that really only left one particular area that needed to be serviced.

ODM: What did your friends think?

Debra: I hang out with a loosely knit group of 30-40 year old professional women. We used to think of ourselves as the “LA version” of Sex and the City. Having a 19 year old boytoy by my side was just like rocking the latest Prada handbag. It was the one fashion accessory that most women my age could not get because Father Time had not been as kind to them as he was to me. A few of my friends who had sons that were 18 and 19 years old did frown upon it a bit but I paid them no attention. “Jealousy” was the first word that crossed my mind whenever someone said something negative…

ODM: So after the initial excitement died down….when did you start taking interest in seriously dating younger men for a committed relationship?

Debra: I would say probably after the first year or so. I only dated 4 guys in that period of time, and all were brief flings. I was at one of the local bars down in Newport Beach with a group of girlfriends. There was this one young man, impeccably dressed….and he had this air of confidence to himself that is normally found in professional men in their 50’s and 60’s. He was the one who approached me and we spent the entire night together drinking and dancing. He asked for my phone number at the end of the night and I really didn’t give it any second thought. I was not expecting him to call me back. Sure enough a few days later my phone rings and he was asking me out to dinner. One thing led to another and in a few short weeks we were boyfriend girlfriend. During the entire course of that relationship, it became very clear to me that dating younger men was the only way to go. An older man could NOT possibly give me everything this 25 year old had to offer. Great body, hot looks, funny, charming, not jaded, no ex-wife/alimony/child support baggage…..Just a great human being that loved to go out and enjoy life. Isn’t that what we are all looking for?

ODM: Are you still dating him?

Debra: No, it ended after about 8 months for reasons that I would rather not get into. We are still very good friends and I care a lot about him.

ODM: Are you single now?

Debra: Yes.

ODM: Where do you go to find younger men? How do you go about approaching them without it turning into a potentially awkward moment?

Debra: Well, truth be told….there have been no awkward moments when it comes to picking up younger guys. If I’m out at a trendy bar or even at the supermarket I can tell right off the bat that they are into me. If I can compare men to books for a minute…..the “older” men in their 40’s and 50’s are kind of like an advanced Trigonometry math book. Hard as hell to understand their motives/intentions and even harder to force myself to like. Younger men in their late teens/early 20’s are kind of like a Dr. Seuss book. Fun, entertaining and by just looking at the cover of the book, you already know what it’s about. Hop on Pop; Green Eggs and Ham, Thank you Ma’am.

When a 20 year old guy is staring at you from across the way, it is a pretty forgone conclusion that he wants to talk to you. Most guys that age are typically shy and as such I find myself being the one having to initiate conversation and breaking the ice. These same guys have told me that it was so easy to talk to me and that they felt very comfortable from the minute I walked over there and started to chit-chat. They also have told me that it is not the same way when it comes to talking to women their own age.

ODM: Let’s talk about the “S” word for a minute….

Debra: (nervous laugh)

ODM: “Sugar Mommy”. Do you find that most younger guys expect you to pay their way and shower them with gifts and whatnot?

Debra: Honestly? No. Most guys that age are poor, broke college students and are somewhat shy about going out because they feel that they have to pay because they are the guy. I make it a point to let them know from the start that I realize that they are just starting out in life and I have no problem footing the bill most (read: all) of the time. They seem to like it. My last boyfriend was a sophomore in college and was working as a waiter making minimum wage and tips. I think that amounted to a little under $250 a week in take-home. I took him out one weekend to South Coast Plaza (an affluent mall located in Orange County, Ca. – Karen) and bought him $2500.00 worth of new clothes. About half of that was spent on dress clothes. I would also give him $500 a week in cash to spend on food/etc. Life is tough when you are in your early 20’s, going to school and working a crap job. I had the means to support him and I also cared very deeply for him….so why not?

ODM: Where there ever any indications that he was just using you for sex and money?

Debra: Never did that thought occur to me. You can pretty much tell within the first few dates if it is going to turn into a real relationship or just some fling. I’m over the “flings” and am looking for a real relationship.

ODM: Have you ever tried an online dating service?

Debra: I am currently a member of 2 online dating services. There seems to be one in particular that for whatever reason attracts younger men looking to date older women. With online dating, it is very easy to weed out the good ones from the bad ones and at the end of the night I’m not stuck with a $150 bar tab and a hangover the next morning.

ODM: So where do you see yourself in 5-10 years from now?

Debra: In a loving, committed relationship with a man 15-20 years my junior. I realize that society in general is becoming more liberal and accepting than it was 20 years ago. Although, there are still people out there who frown upon my choice of lifestyle. I realize this and as such try to keep my dating preferences a secret as much as I can. At the end of the day and when it is all said and done, all that matters is that you are spending the night with the person that makes you happy the most.

ODM: Do you have any thoughts for young men/older women who are looking to try dating each other?

Debra: Sure.

Younger men: If it is just a sexual fantasy to “hook up” with an older woman, and you have no further intentions in life than that, please let them know from the beginning. Even though we are a bit “older”, we still have feelings. If you are looking for a relationship, be honest and treat us with respect. We have a lot to offer you (more than most women your age) and you will soon come to find out just how rewarding it is to be dating a woman that is older than you.

Cougars: This is it ladies. We have finally come to a point in life where we don’t need a man our age to take care of us financially. We are tired of the b.s. that is sometimes associated with dating men our own age. Be proud of the fact that you are a liberated, strong female and empower yourself in your daily life. When you are dating younger men, realize that even though they are younger, they are still men. There are good apples and there are bad apples. Keep your eyes open, and feet on the ground and when you do finally find that special guy you will find yourself experiencing a richness in life in ways you never thought imaginable.

Interview with a Cougar Part 3 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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In the past few weeks I have gotten more than a few
emails requesting that I post the entire interview. The interview
is quite long and thorough, so I have broken it up into 2 parts.
The first part (the part below) is an introduction. You will get
to know the “cougar” and her background story. The second
part picks up where the first part left off.

(I am using false names for the various people mentioned in this
story to protect their identity.)

ODM: Hello Debra, thank you for taking the
time to sit down and chat with me.

Debra: Hello Karen.

ODM: So let’s get right into it. Why don’t you
start off by telling our readers a little bit about yourself?

Debra: Well, I am a 47 years old and have been
divorced now for a little over 8 years. I have 2 teenage daughters
(18 and 19) and live in what I would consider a middle class
neighborhood. I received my M.B.A. from a local University,
although I put my career on hold to raise my family. I now sell real
estate here in Southern California.

ODM: Would you consider yourself a “successful
female”?

Debra: Lol, yes I guess you can say so. It took a
lot of hard work to get to where I am at right now in life and my
ex-husband was of little to no help. Once the divorce was final,
I set out to reclaim the life I had envisioned I would have, prior
to getting married.

ODM: So tell me a bit more about your dating
experiences after your divorce.

Debra: Like most females who find themselves
thrust back into the dating scene after a long marriage, I had
somewhat of a hard time meeting what I would consider “the right guy”.
I did the bar scene, went out on a few atrocious blind dates set up by
well meaning friends and none of those really panned out.

It was funny…the same type of guys that I dated prior to getting
married were just not doing it for me anymore. I got tired of hearing
the same old stories from guys my age….they either talked nonstop
about their divorce or their kids. Older guys also seemed to be a bit
jaded on dating as well as their schedules were unnecessarily complicated
with child custody time issues, ex wives and long hours at the office.

ODM: So is this when you decided to start dating
younger men?

Debra: I never really saw it as a conscious choice to
start dating younger men. The majority of the guys I dated after my
divorce were in their mid-to-late 40’s. I even went out with a few 60
year olds. It seemed as if each and every one of these guys were stuck
in a time warp. They pretty much listened to the same type of music,
dressed the same way and lived the same boring lifestyle. They seemed
to go on and on about their ex’s and their divorce, or I would have to sit
through an hour long presentation about their illustrious careers and how
great they were.

I was on a mission to find myself, to regain my individuality. This was not
going to be accomplished by sitting home on a Saturday night or going out
on yet another boring dinner date only to be taken back to his place and
have to “wait a few” before the Viagra starts kicking in.

ODM: Did the physical characteristics of “older”
men in their 40’s turn you off?

Debra: Honestly? Yes. A big fat beer belly and hair
where there should not be any hair just wasn’t doing it for me. Not to
mention most men over 40 tend to let themselves go physically. They
don’t take the time to work out like younger men do. After the divorce,
I found myself needing more physical contact from a man than ever before.

ODM: Tell me about your first experience with
dating a younger man.

Debra: You are going to change my name on here?

ODM: I will change it prior to publishing this interview.

Debra: About 2 years ago my 18 year old daughter
was planning on going to a party with some of her college friends.
The parents of the person having the party were out of town.
This would be the first party that she attended (to my knowledge)
in college. If the kids nowadays are anything like how we were
back in the 70’s….I knew there would be alcohol and quite possibly
drugs at the party. I suggested that she have a small get-together
at our house instead. That way I could at least cut out the drugs
part of the equation. I knew that the teenagers would find a way
to get drunk so I made the decision to allow alcohol at the party,
provided that everyone who was drinking would spend the night.
I know I am going to get some flak for allowing this…but I would rather have
the kids drinking at my place and sleeping it off on my couch than getting
into a car and driving drunk. This way, I could also monitor alcohol
consumption of the teenagers.

The night went off considerably well, no major incidents. There were
about 15 college students in total that showed up. I spent a good
portion of the night playing hostess and even joined the kids at the
table for a game of poker. I don’t quite remember the rest of the
details, but there was this 18 year old named Brian (name changed – Karen)
who was the life of the party. He was being a bit flirtatious with all the
girls (including myself) and I think I might have reciprocated here and
there. As the night drew on, one thing led to another and we somehow
wound up…

I have split this interview into 2 posts. The entire interview
is well over 2500 words and as such is kind of hard to read in one
long post. Click below to continue to the third and final part of
Interview with a Cougar.

Interview with a Cougar, Part 3

Interview with a Cougar Part 2 is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Interview with a Cougar Part 3
2. Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women)

I would like to take a few minutes to explain the process
as to why purchasing a 6 or 12 month eHarmony subscription
increases your chances at finding the love of your life or
even your soul mate for that matter.

They offer a free .
eHarmony designed this personality profile based
upon academic and scientific research and due to ongoing
human compatibility findings, they are constantly updating
the algorithm. This means that the people that eHarmony
matches you up with are compatible with you based upon
29 dimensions. There really isn’t any other system out there
that can do what eHarmony can.

Just because you are compatible with someone, does not necessarily
mean that they are your soulmate. Think of how many guys or girls
you have dated in the past where you both were like two peas in
a pod….but true love never manifested itself.

By signing up for a 1 or 3 month eHarmony subscription you are
basically limiting yourself to a short time using their compatibility
system. Do you honestly think you are going to find “the one”
in as short as a couple of week? It would be nice, and in fact
that is what we all want….to quickly find someone so we won’t
feel alone anymore. But the truth of the matter is that is wishful
thinking. Good things in life take time, dating is no different.

eHarmony will not only introduce you to highly compatible singles
(and perhaps your soul mate) but going through the process on
eHarmony will also allow you to enter into a self-discovery mode,
especially if you don’t date that much. You need to know yourself
and what you want BEFORE you can unconditionally give yourself
to someone in a relationship.

I have talked to many people who have met on eHarmony and have
gotten married and their stories are quite similar. They joined eHarmony
for 6 or 12 months and went out on more than 1 date. After a short
while they got the hang of it and were quickly and easily able to pick
out the person whom they felt an unbridled chemistry with.

Good things in life come to those who wait.

How to succeed on eHarmony is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. How to overcome low self-esteem and succeed in dating

I recently interviewed a female that most guys in their
20’s refer to as a “Cougar”. In case you aren’t
familiar, a “Cougar” is a female that is in her 40’s and
generally looks very good for her age and typically dates
men in their 20’s.

During the interview, I tried to figure out why a female
in her 40’s would be attracted towards a younger man.
It seemed as if the topic of “sex” was a recurring theme.
Duh !!

Here are 5 reasons (according to a self-admitted Cougar)
as to why men in their 20’s should date a female in her 40’s:

1. 40-50 year old men just can’t f#@% us good enough

Face it. Most guys in their 40’s and 50’s just can’t lay pipe
like they used to. These things happen. Some guys try to
make up for it by popping a few Viagra pills….ok, you got
the car started….but how long can the little engine
that could, keep it up? As some guys get older, their
stamina gets weaker. Pretty soon…..what once used to be
the Mighty Casey Jones, barreling down the train tracks, 8 track
player blasting in the wind, is now nothing more than a miniature
train ride at a local country fair. Atchison, Topeka and the
Santa Fe, you are not.

2. That “one thing” that your 20 year old girlfriend does…

…is nothing compared to what 30 some-odd years of experience
in the bed can do for you. That “one thing” that your 20-something
girlfriend performs so well in bed is nothing more than a cheap card
trick to a 40 year old female. Child’s play….not even worthy of
being featured on “stupid human tricks” on David Letterman.

3. Sugar mommy, anyone?

Allow me to propose two scenarios:

1. It’s Friday night and your 20 year old girlfriend wants to be
taken out on a night out on the town. Dinner….dancing…drinks
maybe even a late night stop at a local bar and grill for a snack.
Guess who is going to foot the bill? You and your $12 an hour
college job.

2. It’s Friday night and the hot 40 year old woman that you have
been dating/talking to wants to go out. She picks you up in her
car, then proceeds to take you out for dinner and dancing and
whatever else. Guess who is going to foot the bill?
Guess who will also slip a $100 bill in your pocket so that you can
buy lunch/etc while you are attending college courses next week?

Women in their 20’s: Causing men to go flat ass broke for centuries.

I rest my financial case.

4. No Strings Attached !!

Generally speaking, a cougar isn’t going to be calling you
10 times a day….asking you “how your day is coming along”.
They aren’t going to send you text message after text message
bothering you on an almost hourly basis. 40 year old women
aren’t going to follow you out when you go drinking with your
buddies and they won’t get pissed if you are seen talking to
a random female at the bar.

All a 40 year old female asks is that you be at her house and
in her bed when you say you will be.

Is that too much to ask?

5. You’ll be the envy of your friends.

Most guys nowadays talk about wanting to hook up with
that hot “MILF”. In fact, if you really want to score some
points with your buddies, find another guy in your circle
of immediate friends who you don’t particularly care for.
Make sure his mom is single (I don’t condone cheating btw)
and hook up with her. Nothing says “Screw you, dude” better
than you and his Mom walking down to the kitchen together
at 7am while he is sitting at the breakfast table eating a box
of Captain Crunch. Talk about a “Kodak Moment”…..

Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Interview with a Cougar Part 2
2. Interview with a Cougar Part 3
3. Why guys need to get creative when taking a girl out on a date

The reason I am posting this is because it is currently
Saturday night and (yet again) I am sitting home. Alone.
No date on the horizon. Hopefully, this little list of
quotes about being single will find some other soul out
there on the internet who is sitting home alone. Some
of these quotes are from famous people, others are just
quotes that were passed along to me. Still others I made
up as I went along. You’d be surprised what a few glasses
of wine does for inspiration…

So before you get any further depressed….just realize
that you aren’t alone. MILLIONS of singles are sitting
home alone tonight. Maybe even your future soulmate
or next boyfriend or girlfriend will be reading this list
at the same time you are….?

1. “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” - Wendy Liebman

2. “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” - Sex in the City

3. “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night.” - Woody Allen

4. “Being single isn’t bad. What is bad is giving up hope on finding
that someone special.” – Anonymous

5. “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already
three parts dead.” – Bertrand Russell

6. “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer
somewhere else.” - Mae West

7. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” - Billy Crystal

8. “I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.” - Garry Shandling

9. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile.”
- Mae West

10. “Live to love, not love to live.” - Anonymous

11. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

12. “Being single is not the end of the world. What is the end of the
world is when you stop trying to find your next boyfriend/girlfriend/soulmate.” - Anthony D.

13. “Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.” - Jim Bishop

14. “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” - Mae West

15. “It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.” - Sex and the City

16. “Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.”
- Anonymous

17. “Love is two minds without a single thought.” - Phillip Barry

18. “I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.” - Delta Burke

19. “I think, therefore I’m single.” - Liz Winston

20. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs bicycle”
- Anonymous

21. “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.” - Sex in the City

22. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

23. “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” - Lao Tzu

24. “A man needs a woman….well, a man needs a woman.” - Anonymous

25. “As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.” – Hermann Hesse

26. “I’m happily single.” - Paula Abdul

27. “About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.” - Judy Carter

28. “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.” – Lynn Lavner

29. “Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” - Sharon Stone

30. “Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” - Robin Williams

31. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” - Rod Stewart

32. “Do you believe in computer dating?”
“Only if the computers really love each other.” - Groucho Marx

33. One good thing about Internet dating: you’re guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. - Anonymous

34. My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. - Michelle Landry

35. “A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows.”
- Monica Piper

36. “You aren’t the only one sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Wonder if
your future boyfriend/girlfriend is doing the same thing you are…” - Me

Quotes About Being Single is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. What are the Disadvantages of Being Single?

“Because I don’t know what to say to to women when I first
meet them”.

Over the course of my professional career, I have noticed this
“phenomena” in many males. They instantly freeze up around
a pretty girl they are attracted to, their minds go blank and they
can’t think of anything to say.

I want you to take a minute to stop and think back to the past 30
days of your life. How many times were you out in public, at work
or at a social function and saw a girl that you were attracted to?
Did you walk over there and try to strike up a conversation or did
you find yourself staring at the girl from afar multiple times….to the
point that she noticed the staring and when you both made eye
contact, she gave you a dirty look because she thought you were
creepy….and then most likely you took this personally as if there
was something wrong with you, only adding to your low self-confidence
and lack of self esteem.

This is the #1 reason as to why guys set themselves up for failure
and start on a downward spiral towards low self esteem when it
comes to talking to women.

There really isn’t a set formula for what to say to a girl you just met.
You have to understand that when you first approach a girl, she is
most likely going to be as uncomfortable as you are. She was not
expecting you to walk over and start picking her up. This is another
critical area where most guys fail…..they walk up to a girl with the
specific intention of picking her up. Even if they don’t ramble off
cheesy pickup lines, the girl can still sense that they are just out
to get a number. In some cases like a bar or a club, this might be
perfectly normal, but in normal everyday situations it needs to be
tackled from a different approach.

The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath, and relax
your mind. If you aren’t feeling comfortable with yourself then
it will show up on the outside. Then you need to realize that
your only intention is to get the girl to talk to you. That’s it.
Then approach her with a smile on your face (not a creepy smile)
and simply say “Hi”.

Here are 5 tips on how to talk to women for the first time:

1. Breaking the ice
My cousin from Australia was in town and we went over
to Starbucks for a coffee one night. The barista that was
working was this really cute (early 20’s) blonde girl that
always had this really bad look on her face….the kind of
look that would make most guys think twice about walking
up to her and striking up a conversation.

As we were waiting for her to make our drinks, my cousin
saw that she looked stressed/whatever and simply asked
her “How is your day going?”. That was all it took. The
nasty look on her face disappeared and was immediately
replaced with smile. They talked for about 15 minutes
(while I was waiting impatiently) and at the end he got
her number.

2. Keep the topic of conversation to “about her”
Most people love talking about themselves. If you are having
a hard time finding things to talk about to a girl, simply ask
her questions that pertain to herself. Most women will take
the ball and run with it. All you have to do is listen and
she will subconsciously give you even more topics to talk about.
Simple as that.

3. Be yourself
Unless you are an actor chances are that you aren’t good at
fooling other people into thinking you are anybody else other
than yourself. Same goes for women. Don’t try to come
off as a suave smooth talker. Don’t try to show off for her,
or pretend that you are someone you are not. Women
have this ability to pick up on the small things that just don’t
seem right to them…..including a guy pretending to be someone
he is not. The only person that you are fooling is yourself.

4. Stay relaxed
This is probably one of the hardest things for guys to do. Even
though it might now show up on the outside (physical) if you
don’t stay relaxed it will manifest itself in your tone of voice
or other subconscious instances. I tell people who have this
issue to try to take 5-10 minutes every night and meditate.
Close your eyes and just let yourself relax and breathe deep.
Over the course of a month you will begin to realize a much
more calmer demeanor. I am not a meditation expert, so
I advise people to start off by buying a book or two on the
subject. “Meditation for Dummies” (I have no idea if this
book actually exists) would be a great start.

5. Tone of voice and speech.
Even though some guys are shy by nature, some of them
are very good at covering it up…..except when it comes to
the tone of their voice. This is a dead giveaway to women
that you are nervous/bullshitting/don’t know what you are
talking about. Practice your speech by talking to random
people on a daily basis and when it comes time to talk to
a girl, focus on speaking slowly and clearly. Don’t worry,
you won’t come off as a “mentally slow” person.

5 tips on how to talk to women (and not put your foot in your mouth) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. How to Talk to Women if You are Shy and Nervous
2. How to pickup women 101
3. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You

After a few days he told me that he should have seen the warning
signs as they were really evident. He was just so in love with her
that he refused to pay attention to what the rest of his friends
have been trying to tell him all along.

So this post is dedicated to my bro and the cheating ho that used
him for the past 9 months of his life. Hopefully this will help some
other guy out there see the writing on the wall before it is too late.

CAVEAT: This is just a general guide. There are so many variables
out there in life that you should NOT take this guide to heart. Just
because your girlfriend gets a phone call from a strange guy you don’t
know does not necessarily mean she is setting up a booty call for later
that night. What if that phone call was her boss from work asking her
to email him the TPS reports she didn’t finish the day before?

1. Things just don’t add up.
When you are in love with someone, or at the very least infatuated,
you tend to overlook logic because you are swept up in emotion.
I read somewhere that scientists have likened the human mental
emotion of “love” to that of being drunk. If you have ever been in
love you know how powerful of a feeling it is. With that being said,
you need to keep one foot on the ground and eyes and ears open
at all times, even if you trust her implicitly. This is just good common
sense.

Let me put it another way:

If I walked up to your girlfriend right this minute and told her that if she
would dump you and never speak to you again, I would give her 1 million
dollars in small, unmarked bills. Honestly. Do you really and truly think
she would stay with you?

What if Brad Pitt (or whoever the latest Hollywood Heartthrob is nowadays)
met your chick in a bar and started hitting on her…..and asked her back to
your place? Guess who’s getting laid that night.

These are some very extreme examples, but it just goes to show that you cannot
implicitly and blindly trust someone to the point where you have your head up
your ass all of the time.

2. Checking out other guys in public
Ok, #1 pretty much summed it all up. You need to keep your eyes open
at all times. The remainder of these “signs” are a few traits that my buddy
noticed in his ex girlfriend. On more than one occasion when they were
both out in public, he noticed her checking out other guys…..not a sly
“checkout” like most women are able to do (and get away with) but rather
she was catching the eyes of the guy she was looking at and holding the
gaze.

3. Mysterious cell phone calls
I’m probably going to get in a boatload of trouble for saying this….but
do you know every single guy/phone number that is on your girlfriend’s
cell phone? Yes, you should respect the privacy of the one you are
with ….blah blah blah……morals…..blah blah blah…..trust. Ok, are
we off our moral soapbox now? If you start to suspect anything, her
cell phone is one of the first places you can look. I would not advise
going this route unless you have mounting evidence that she is cheating
on you. This is the best way to confirm that suspicion. Check with
an attorney before you do it though…

4. Emails/Twitter/instant messenger/text messages
In this day and age there are so many ways to stay in contact with someone.
She could have joined an adult online dating service looking for love or she
actually could be a member of an online dating service. Without going on her
computer and going into her account, there really is no way of finding out.
What you can do, is take the first part of her email address and pop it into
Google and see what comes up.

eg: If her email address is “PinkFuzzyBunny82828@gmail.com” then take the
“PinkFuzzyBunny82828″ part and run a Google search. Believe it or not, most
people re-use the same email address/screen name over and over again when
signing up for new online services. Think about how many online accounts she
must have…..Her Myspace account, her Facebook account, her twitter account.
And so on and so forth. Google is your friend. Learn how to use the various
operators when performing a Google search. It is a VERY powerful tool if used
correctly.

5. Her friends
Women cannot keep a secret if they were rubbed down with super secret musk,
put in the middle of a field with a bunch of other horny no-secret tellers in the
middle of no-secret-telling mating season. I’m not trying to come off as sexist here,
but every single girl I have ever know could not keep from telling her girlfriends
whatever I told her. So use this to your advantage. If your girl is cheating on
you, one of the first people to know are usually her friends (or her sister). Learn
how to use social engineering to your advantage. Run a Google
search to find out just how to do it. The next time you are out with her friends,
chose your words carefully and you might get one of them to slip up.

If you aren’t currently on medication for a mental disorder and you still
got a funny feeling that “something just ‘aint right” with your girlfriend,
chances are you are right. Do what you need to do in order to confirm/deny
your suspicions so you can make a rational, intelligent decision as to
what to do next (DUMP HER). However, just because you think your
girl is screwing around on you does NOT give you the right to violate
her privacy and do illegal stuff. Be smart about how you go about
finding out the information that you are seeking.

How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you (or about to) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Inside the mind of a cheating boyfriend
2. 10 creative ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend

A few months ago I wrote my infamous post about why
girls don’t call guys back after the first date. That article
generated so much buzz that I felt it might be good to do
a follow up article. Over the past few months I have been
watching the dating lives of my single girlfriends very carefully.

These women can be described as nothing more than “Serial Daters”.
It seems as if they have a new guy every week. Aside from
being flakes and fakes, these women all have one thing in
common. They are undeniably “cute” by any guy’s standards.

Granted they are not a perfect 10, but just the same they
turn heads more often than not while walking down the street.
They are the type of “cute” girl that any average guy honestly
and truly thinks he has a chance with, and more often than not, does.

1. Your Hunting/Gathering skills suck.
If this were the “caveman” days, what kind of caveman
would you be? Would you be the type of caveman that
always has Brontosaurus meat on his table every night?
Would you be rocking the latest Gucci Tyrannosaurus Rex
shirts and skins? Is the size of your club smaller than
most other cavemen?

Not much has changed since those days. Women still look
for a guy that can provide on some level or another.
The primordial instinct is hardwired into women’s brains
to find the best caveman that can drag her by her hair
back to his cave, show her the bounty of food he has
collected and impress her with the size of his club.

2. Porno Pete
Guys, if you are out on a successful date and it somehow
winds up back at your place, take the time to hide your
computer pornography collection prior to inviting her back.
As ridiculous as it might sound, it is a somewhat common
occurrence (from the anecdotal stories I have been told)
for a guy to invite a girl over to his place, then for whatever
reason open up his laptop/desktop to go online to look up
something…..and the first thing that greets her eyes is:

“Lesbian-Nymphos.avi”

Believe it or not, that isn’t the worst “file name” that has
been accidentally seen on a guy’s computer by his date.

3. The Stand Up Comedian

And for next joke, I will put cat down pants of Senior Citizen !

Newsflash Gallagher: She is laughing AT you, not WITH you.
Don’t try to be a funny guy if you aren’t. There is a big
difference between an attempt at a joke (that falls flat on its face)
and repeated lame attempts at jokes throughout the date.
Not saying that you shouldn’t attempt to interject some
lowered form of humor during the course of normal conversation
(all women love to laugh) but when it gets to the point where
she starts to notice herself having to politely laugh repeatedly
throughout the date, it gets old fast.

4. The Old Guy
Let’s face it. What 30-something guy doesn’t want an 18
year old hot piece of ass vs. an aging jaded girl his own age?
Generally speaking women only like to date guys within a 2-5
year age range. There are many exceptions to this rule, but
I am going off personal experience and anecdotal evidence.

Trust me on this one, as a I am a 33 year old female and
have been in this same situation myself many times over.

So let’s say that you and that 22 year old girl (10 years your junior)
had a great date. So she thought you were “really cute”
and the funniest guy with the nicest car she had ever met.
So you two got along real well. Guess what? Unless you
can relegate yourself to the “friends” genre, she isn’t going
to give you a second date. 8 more years on you and you are
old enough to be her dad. Even if you somehow managed
to sweep her off her feet, you still have only won half of the
battle.

Just wait until she gets on the phone with her over-protective
girlfriends the next day and they start in on her about how
“He’s just some creepy old guy trying to get down your pants”.
Which leads us right into #5:

5. Her friends
For most women, their friends are like their mother/preacher
/counselor all rolled up into one. Women tend to look out
for their friends much more than guys do. It’s almost like
a circle of closely related sisters. So you think that the
last date you went out on was nearly perfect. Maybe you
made a faux paux or two or said one or two “interesting”
things that stuck in her mind. No worries, right?

Sure. Until she gets on the phone with her (single)
girlfriends the next day (who are probably a bit jealous
that she was lucky enough to go out on a date) . Let
the catty-ness begin !! These friends are going to
be analyzing every single word out of her mouth and
interjecting their opinions based nothing more on hearsay.
The girl who went out on a date will most likely takes
their advice at face value (no matter what) on an
almost religiously feverish level.

After all, they are friends and friends look out for each other.

One thing that I have noticed that sometimes works is to
get her to talk about her friends while out on a date.
Get a story or two to be told to you, then no matter what,
compliment that friend on whatever it is that she said/did.
This way when the phone call is made the next day, more
likely than not, that same compliment will be transmitted
to that friend, effectively neutralizing her willingness to
say anything negative. Damage control. Use it wisely.

BONUS TIP:
Probably THE most common reason why women don’t call guys back after the first date:

She felt more of a connection with the guy she went out on a date with last week than she did you.

So why didn’t she call you back? Is it because
the dating pool is bigger for her than an “average girl”,
and therefore has more options to choose from?
Is it because her standards are higher because she
has been out with almost every type of guy imaginable,
from the artsy-fartsy artist types to the up and
coming “C” level executive?

It’s hard to say.

Do you really know yourself and the person you are
coming off as? Most people really don’t know who they
come off as while out in public or meeting new people.
Sure your friends of 10 years know you well, but just
how well do you make a good first impression?

There are many free tools online that you can use to
get a good guage on your personality and how you come
across to others. One freebie that I recommend is the

What’s great about this tool is that no credit card
is required and you are no obligated to sign up.

After you are done filling it out, they will present to
you a detailed 5-6 page analysis of how other people
view you. A great tool for getting an honest look at
how you might come across to others.

5 More Reasons Why Women Won’t Call You After The First Date is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. Top 10 reasons why I won’t call you after our first date
2. Top 5 Reasons Women Aren’t Interested In You
3. Top 10 reasons why a guy never calls a girl back after the first date

My intentions on writing this post are to give a clue to the
guys that consistently fail at attracting women, or at the
very best, fail to get a second date. There are many reasons
why a female won’t call you back after the first date. It could range
from she just wasn’t attracted to you, to the simple fact that she took
one look at you and decided she would be better off in life as full
fledged lesbian.

The following 10 “types” are a compiled from a poll that I took of
over 50 women from all walks of life. I realize that women can be unfair
judgmental you-know-whats at times, as I too have been wrongly
accused of being one (or two or three) of the following types.
If you constantly fail at attracting and/or keeping a female in your
life, you need to take some time to figure out just how women view
you. More on that at the end of the article….

1. The world is my urinal cake.
This is the guy that is constantly (and literally) pissing on everything
he comes in contact with. He is the master of his domain and nothing
stands between him and what he wants. He is generally narcissistic,
rude to others, extremely competitive, and probably drives a Corvette.
His Caesar like attitude towards the world most likely stems from severe
penis envy…to the point where any man-made object over 3” is seen as
a direct threat. Women tend to run from guys like this because they know
at the end of the day, they will always play second fiddle to the image in
his bathroom mirror.

2. The Al Bundy
This is the guy that seems to be stuck in his high school glory days when
he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game….which is fine, but if you take
into consideration his next biggest accomplishment in life was to become
lead fry chef at McDonalds, probably not the best dating material.
The Al Bundies in life tend to still live in the same town they went to high
school in. They also tend to hang out with guys much younger than them
(by about 10 years). They usually seem to watch a ton of sports (shock)
and they seem to have a somewhat childish mentality. Al Bundies tend
to masturbate, a lot. (don’t laugh !! Don’t you know how hard it is
nowadays for a 30 year old man to pick up an 18 year old high
school girl ??). Al Bundies generally can be found in any local
sports bar, but for some strange reason their greatest concentration
can be found on any given weeknight at your local community college.

3. Pretty Boys

Pretty boys make Brad Pitt look like Brad Garrett. Their
hair is meticulously coiffed, eyebrows plucked, jeans way
too tight. Think of pretty boys as being one snip of the
scissors away from changing the “M” to an “F” on their
drivers license. No matter how good looking they guy is,
women tend to not want to date guys that make them
feel like they are the man in the relationship.
(unless they are into that sorta thing)

4. Pity Party Pete.

His dog just died. His boss made fun of him at work today.
The Steelers lost the SuperBowl. (what?)

There is always something wrong with poor ol’ Pete and
his girlfriend is the first that he runs to tell his problems to.

Most women want a MAN in their lives, not some sniveling
little, touchy-feely, emotional bitch. I personally don’t know
too many pretty boys in life, but I do know more than a
few guys who get emotionally clingy with girls that they
are dating. They are always telling their troubles and
problems to their girlfriends….to the point where she becomes
less of a girlfriend and more of a mommy.

5. Big Balla, Shot Calla

There is a time when skinny pencil necked white boys
are allowed to act like inner city gang bangers. This
time is called “High School”. Anyone that is not
living in the inner city and does not have an active
affiliation with a local street gang, please take
off the baggy pants, 25″ rims off your Honda Civic,
take out your gold toof and get back into reality.
There is a reason that gang bangers dress/walk/talk
they way they do. It is because they have a hard life
and are expressing themselves in their own unique
fashion. If you are not one of them, give it a break.
Nothing turns off women more than a 30 year old
grown man wearing size 50 baggy pants from the
local swapmeet yelling out “cuz” this and “fo’ sho’”
that.

6. The George Bush

Thank God/Jesus/Hare Krishnah/Buddah/Flying Spaghetti Monster
that the loser is now out of office, yes?

Just like in real life, a “G.B.” is the guy
that is completely and utterly clueless as to just
how badly he screws things up. Crashes his car
after a night of drunk driving? Most normal males would
be a bit ashamed, even remorseful. Not dear ol’ Dubya.
He wakes up the next morning with a huge goofy grin
on his face and proceeds to play Super Mario Kart on the
Wii. Life is too short to care about anything or anyone
else than your own self. He just doesn’t give a shit,
why should you?

Hell, why not invade the local elementary school and
lay claim to their swings, sandbox and monkey bars ?? !!
I’m sure the G.B.’s in life could make a good case by claiming
that little 7 year old Timmy had stockpiled weapons of
mass destruction in the form of water balloons and
a carton of 2 week old rotten eggs.

(someone please have an attorney email me for legal
advice regarding the above posting….The past 8 years
have really raised some doubts in my head regarding my
freedoms as an American citizen and I am not quite sure
if I legally have the right to express my political opinions
in the form of satire anymore…)

8. You wanna get hiiiiigh, maaaaaaan?
(does Howdie-Doodie got wooden balls?)

In this day and age, you would probably be hard-pressed
to find someone who hasn’t puffed on a fat doobie at least
once (or twice) in their lives. I know there are many people out
there who haven’t “taken the pot” and if so, good for you.
You should probably go back to your elementary school teacher
who told you to “Just Say No” and ask for an award or something.
I am not condoning pot use, as I don’t smoke it myself, but I do
know of people that do on a semi-regular basis (read: every waking
breath). I can tell you from my second hand
(no pun intended) experience that these pothead have a
REALLY hard time at keeping a girlfriend. Most women have
dated a pot head once in their lives, and that was enough.
Most women see pot heads as lazy losers who …..well…..
just sit around and smoke pot all day.

9. Mr. complainer

This guy bitches moans and complains more than an 80
year old man with a hemorrhoid the size of a dinner plate
stuck up his ass. Nothing is right for this guy and no matter
what you do or say, he will always find something to
complain about. The thing about complainers is that they
are usually aware of their actions and try to hide them
from a potential date until they really get to know them.
A good way to find out of the guy you are dating is a
“complainer” is to simply look for the little clues…..
Some of the early warning signs of a complainer:

1. Road Rage when driving
2. Always seems to have a slight negative attitude
3. Is usually an “internet tough guy”. If you see a bunch
of computer geeks preparing a lynching party outside
your home, run fast. Internet tough guys generally
go hand-in-hand with Mr. Complainers. They usually
belong to many different chat board forums and are
always talking smack to other people, trying to make
themselves look tougher.

10. Inspector Gadget

This guy has every single electronic gadget known to man.
iPhone 3g this, High Definition that, his entire apartment
can double for a Best Buy showroom with the amount
of computers and cables strewn about. These types of
guys not only piss their money away on useless electronic
crap, but spend the majority of their time accumulating
even more electronic crap that they don’t need.

They somehow think that they will impress a girl with how
many pixels their new High Def. t.v. has, and tend to
get slightly butt-hurt when the girl indifferently nods
her head when he is explaining the advantages of
1080i vs. 720p resolution on a plasma t.v. screen.
Generally speaking, women find all of this stuff to be
completely boring and in reality, are just happy that
you have a roof over your head and that the t.v. you
are both about to sit down to watch a movie on is in
Technicolor. It is usually a pissing contest between
these types of guys to see who has the latest and
greatest electronic gear.

——————————————————————-
So how do we as guys figure out how females who
we just met tend to view us?

The exercise here is to actively seek out potential
negatives that females could plausibly come to a
conclusion about you and nip them in the butt
(the conclusions) before another girl makes a rash
decision about you and decides not to pursue a
relationship.

Take the free
and then compare the results as to how you see yourself.

Might be in for a big shock…

The eHarmony personality profile was designed to give you
a clear picture of how other people view you. You answer
several multiple choice questions and based upon your
(honest) answers, they give you a multi-page report on
your personality. It can give you a great insight into
how other people view you and will only help you to further
understand yourself.

10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 types of women that men avoid
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. Interview with a 40 year old Cougar: (Why younger guys should date older women)

From the women that I have spoken to, at least
1 out of every 3 dates they go out on result in
the guy not calling them back for a second date.

Why is this? If this has happened to you, you
might find yourself scratching your head thinking back…..

“The email exchange seemed normal”….
“When we spoke on the phone, he seemed interested”….
“When we met up for coffee, the conversation seemed to be there”….

Most guys are quick to make snap judgments about
women, especially when it comes to online dating. If the
guy thinks that there is even one small thing amiss, he
would simply not call you back and move onto the next
girl. Why is this? Well, let’s face it; if you lived in a small
cow town in the Midwest with a population of only 100
people, chances are the guys would take what they could
get. But when it comes to online dating, and the hundreds
of potential dates that guys could have…..why should they give
you a second chance?

I recently polled over 50 guys and asked them to give me
10 types of women that they avoid like the plague. Now,
YOU may not consider yourself to be one of these “types”,
but the guy certainly did….

p.s. If any of these apply to you, scroll down to the
bottom of the article for a quick and easy way to figure
out “why wasn’t that one guy interested in me?”.

1. Cindy Chatterbox
Cindy Chatterbox is the type of girl that just won’t shut her
trap.

“Blah blah blah my job, blah blah blah my cat, blah blah
blah purple monkey elevator.” is what a guy hears when
he is talking to little little Cindy-Lou.

“Does this women ever shut up?”

It is one thing to tell a semi-long winded story, but when
you just dominate the conversation it gets old, fast.

2. Flirts.
Nothing turns a guy on more than a woman that flirts.
Nothing turns a guy off more than a woman who flirts.
Confused yet?

Guys like it when you flirt with them. But if they perceive
you as a flirt, then it’s pretty much all over. Keep it to
a bare minimum, lest you risk being labeled as a chronic
flirt.

3. Desperation
Unless they are out for sex, guys hate women that come
off as desperate. Generally speaking, this really doesn’t
apply to most women under the age of 35-ish. You may
fall into this category and not realize it…..just like men,
women give off subconscious signals. Men are quick
to pick up on them and it just turns them off. If you are
35 years of age or older, ask youself the following question:

“Am I looking to quickly get into a relationship so I
won’t feel lonely anymore?”

/Discuss amongst yourselves

4. The Cat Lady.
Every guy in their life has had the (dis)pleasure of going
on a date with the Cat Lady. Cat Ladies are generally
mildly neurotic and sometimes have wild mood swings.
They tend to be all over the place during the course of
normal conversation and by most guys standards, are
easy to get into bed…..it’s getting them out that is the
hard part.

5. Clingy-ness
Clingy women tend to be a bit…..clingy. They have
the unique ability to change their exact physical shape so it
fits perfectly in the shadow that the guy casts when
he walks down the street on a bright sunny day. They
tend to call too much…..they tend to write long-winded
emails, when a few words would suffice. In fact, after
a guy decides to not pursue a relationship with a woman
he deems as “clingy” she tends to show him just how
mistaken his is……most notably by carving her name into
the side of his car and leaving a 5×10 glossy photo of
herself (complete with hair clippings) on the doorstep
of his house.

6. The Judgmental bitch
Every woman has the right to express her opinion…..
just like every guy has the right to not call the girl back
after the first date. How to avoid being (mis?)labeled
as a judgmental bitch? Simple. If you have to express
a negative opinion about something a guys likes or talks
about, don’t go overboard. Just say that you don’t like
it and give a short explanation as to why.

7. Hoodrat, Hoodrat, Hoochie-Momma !!
There are many ways a guy could plausibly label a girl
as a hoochie momma. The way she dresses, the way she
talks, the way she acts. One or two little things combined
shouldn’t cause a guy to turn tail and run…..but when you
show up to the first date in shirt that shows off your boobs,
talk about your “special talents” in bed and then proceed to
demonstrate said talents in the bathroom at Denny’s…..

Chances are, you might be a hoochie momma. Best thing
to do is head off to Sears or Target to buy some respectable
clothing, and try not to have intercourse along the way?

8. Girls with guy friends. LOTS of guy friends.
For some reason, most guys don’t like it when a girl
has a lot of guy friends. Be it jealousy or whatever else,
it can turn a good portion of the general male online
dating population off. If you do have a lot of guy friends,
try to play it down a notch or two.

9. PaRtY ChIcKs !
What guy doesn’t love a fun, outgoing girl? It’s just when
it is a 24/7 type of ordeal, it can get old, quick. Guys don’t
see party chicks are potential relationship partners. So don’t
give off the impression that life to you is one big party (even if
it is).

10. Subservient Slaves
Unless you are a member of the newest online dating site called:
“Barefoot and Pregnant in the Kitchen Singles”, chances are they
guy you are out on a date with does NOT like women that are
subservient. Just because the guy is “hot” and whatever else,
does not mean that you have to bow down to his every whim
and agree with every statement that he makes. Once you do
so, the challenge is gone and the guys attention is quickly drawn
to the other girl who is playing hard to get. There is a fine line
to walk between coming off as a judgmental bitch and/or coming
off as a spineless wimp.

So after reading all of these “types”, are you getting a bit
paranoid now? Especially since in no way/shape or form
do you consider yourself to have even the slightest iota
of any of those traits? Sometimes we see ourselves
differently than other people see us.

A great way to figure out if you come off that way is to
simply ask a friend or family member to constructively
criticize you. Be forewarned that even your closest
friends and family members may sugar coat the truth
as to how they see you. A great way to get an honest,
unbaised look at how others view you is to take the
.

The personality profile is a free tool that many
people use to gain a better understanding of how
others view themselves. You are asked a series
of questions, in which you are expected to answer
as honestly as you can. eHarmony then takes your
answers and analyzes them using their scientifically
based system and gives you a 5-6 page analysis
of your personality and how others view you. You can
then print it out for future reference.

eHarmony spends tens of thousands of dollars every
year in academic research and they use their findings
to continuously improve their personality profile system.

Take advantage of it and you might find yourself looking
at a totally different person than you see in the mirror….

10 types of women that men avoid is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 10 Types of Guys that Women Avoid Dating
2. 10 types of women you can expect to meet in an online dating site
3. Why men like skinny women (the cold hard truth)

1. You take one look at the person and instantly realize
you are not attracted to them.
2. Conversation sucks and you get bored with them in
a matter of minutes.
3. They look nothing like their online photos (or what
you drunkenly remember them looking when you first met them)

Whatever your reason for not liking your date, you are still stuck
with them for the next few hours. Unless you do something about it.

The best way to end a bad date is to simply say to the other person:
“Hey, I’m just not feeling it and I think we should just end the date early”.
This is easier said than done. Most people are too polite/shy to take
this course of action and feel that it would turn a bad date into an
even more of an awkward situation.

Here are some suggestions on how to successfully ditch a bad date:

1. Grandma fell and she can’t get up !!
Tell one of your friends to call you 1 hour into the date. When you answer
the phone, pretend it is your mother or sister. It is socially acceptable to
take a phone call from a relative when you are on a date. If the date is going
bad, then just pretend to have a family emergency and you can quickly excuse
yourself from the date. You should always think of a first date the same way
you would think about flying on an airplane. Keep in mind where the exits are
located at all times.

2. Dine and ditch.
Can’t bring youself to telling your date that “It’s just not working out” ?
Then you can always just excuse yourself to the bathroom and then walk
out the back door of the restaurant you are in. If you are in a public place
on a date, just wait until your date is looking at something and give them the
ol’ slip-er-roo. Gotta go, gotta go !!

3. “My ovaries are discombobulated….”
There are only 2 or 3 parts on the female body that men fully understand.
A woman’s ovaries are not one of them. Fake a female emergency and get
a “get out of a bad date” pass free. If you are a guy, it is still as simple as
telling the girl that you have a bad stomachache. Rip a nice fart or two
for added realism and she will be begging you to go home.

I play World of Warcraft (WOTLK) in my mom’s basement.
Ok, so you successfully managed to ditch the bad date you were
out on. Now how do you deal with the inevitable phone calls/emails
that will most likely ensue a day or two after the bad date had ended?
If you had prepared for this eventuality early on, it would not be an
issue.

If you find yourself on what you would consider a “bad date”, chances
are that your date might not see it the same way. The minute you
realize that this is not the person you want to date, you have an
obligation to yourself to make it known to your date that you are not
interested in him or her. Ideally you should simply tell them the truth.
If you are not into confrontation, then you need to drop a few hints
for them to ponder on after the date is over.

This can easily be accomplished during the course of normal conversation.
If you are a guy you can tell the girl that you like to play online video games
in your spare time. Most girls see this as a red flag and will get the hint.
The same goes for women out on a bad date. Drop “little red flags” to
the guy before you make your exit. In this situation, it is ok to lie through
your teeth.

Here are some topics guaranteed to turn anyone off:

(If you don’t have the balls to be upfront and honest with your date,
and find yourself resorting to these “little white lies”, do yourself a favor
and have some fun with it !! This way you have a good story to tell
your friends after the date is over).

1. Talk about your ex. You are still in love with them
2. You are on medication for multiple personalities.
3. Talk about the time you went to prison for domestic abuse
4. Act like a complete brain-dead idiot on current events. Tell
your date you are curious as to why just two short years ago,
the US was in Afghanistan searching for Obama, and now he is
our President-Elect.
5. Talk about the date you have next week with a total hottie.
6. Pontificate over the fact that the last 3 girls/guys you dated
dumped you within 1 week of going out with you.
7. Sprinkle your vocabulary with words such as:

“Fo’ reals?”
“dude”
“Sho-nuff !!”
“like” (repeat liberally throughout the date)
“cuz”

However you so choose to get out of a bad date, keep one thing
in mind. Don’t be rude to your date, nor make fun of them, nor
do anything to make them feel any more uncomfortable than you
already are. It’s just not fair. Most likely they came to this date
with honest and good intentions of meeting someone they felt
they connect with. If you were to slam them or hurt their feelings,
it would only make you look like an ass.

Once it is all said and done, you need to analyze why this date
was so bad so you (hopefully) won’t find yourself in this position
again. Did you have unrealistic expectations? Did you not
thoroughly take the time to get to know your date through
emails and phone communication prior to going out with them?
Are you perhaps a member of an online dating service that does
not pride itself on catering to quality singles? (Join
if that is the case. eHarmony is famous for the quality of their singles).

Whatever the case may be, bad dates happen. Chances are you
aren’t going to find the love of your life in a month when you
join an online dating site. A good rule of thumb is that it takes
anywhere from 3 to 6 months (sometimes longer, depending on
what/who you are looking for) to find someone you would ideally
want to date. Don’t sell yourself short by signing up for a 1 month
subscription to an online dating site. You will only be setting yourself
up for failure as well as spending more money when you find yourself
renewing your online dating subscription at the higher 1 month rate,
than the lower 3 or 6 month rate.

How to ditch a bad date (by any means necessary) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

1. 5 More Reasons Why Women Won’t Call You After The First Date

Online dating has been around for over 10 years now
but only recently has it become more “mainstream”
wherein people aren’t embarrassed to tell others that
they are or were a member of an online dating service.
With the advent of such “high end” online dating
services such as
and their commercials running 24/7 on the television,
more and more singles who have never tried online
dating are giving it a shot.

So why join an online dating service?

The short answer to that question is: quantity and quality.
The long answer is a bit more complicated.

There really is no “right way” or “place” to meet
new people in this day and age. You could get
lucky and meet the guy/girl of your dreams
while you are standing in line in the supermarket.
(this has NEVER happened to me, but I have heard
it happens on occasion). You could be introduced
to your future boyfriend/girlfriend by a common
acquaintance.

In light of all the potential ways and places to
meet someone new, I have chosen to compare/contrast
online dating versus a tried and true method of
meeting new men and women: The bar scene.

Love it or hate it, the bar scene has been the
proverbial Serengeti watering hole for singles
looking to mingle for hundreds of years. Long
before the advent of the internet and online
dating, singles would generally congregate
at their local bars in the semi-high hopes of
meeting a local hottie. Of course, with all
the booze and beer that is served in a bar,
“impaired judgment” was a very common occurrence
and you really couldn’t get an accurate picture
of the person that you were talking to in a bar
because …..well let’s face it. Alcohol makes
people horny and looking for your soulmate
was probably the last thing on your list when
a pair of “DD’s” planted themselves firmly
on the barstool next to you…..

So why choose online dating over the bar
scene?

1. Checking out the dating pool, without
having to interact with the old, slobbering
drunk guy staring at your breasts.
With online dating, you can check out other
people’s profiles from the comfort and saftey
of your home. You choose who you want to
communicate with and that communication
stays within the email or instant messenger
service until the time of your choosing.

2. Safety.
Online dating is one of the safest ways to
meet new people. You have complete
control over the interacting experience
and chose when and where and if
you so chose to give out your personal
information. Many online dating sites
such as eHarmony screen potential new
users so that only the creme de la creme
are allowed to join their services.

3. Diversity.
Are you into any less than mainstream
alternative lifestyles or dating? There are
many online dating sites out there that
cater to Gay dating, Lesbian dating,
Asian dating, Hispanic dating, “hookup”
dating and so on. With these sites you
know that the person that you are
talking to is looking for the same thing you are.

4. Price.
Most of the online dating sites cost anywhere
from $19.99 a month to $39.99 a month. When
taken into consideration, that is what you would
pay for a Friday night out at your local bar
(probably less, depending on what you like to
drink).

5. No embarrassing moments.
Ever been to a bar and saw a hottie that
you thought was checking you out….and
you walk over and come to find out that
they were actually checking out
one of your friends. Yikes !

With online dating, you know instantly
whether or not someone is interested in
you because they too have the ability to
choose whom they wish to communicate
with and who they don’t.

6. Law of averages.
How many times do you go out to a bar
every month? Let’s say the average person
goes 4x a month. Now how many new
people (that you would give your phone
number out to) do you meet every time
you are out? Again, let’s shoot low and
say “2″. So that’s 2 people every week for
4 weeks. 8 new people you meet
every month who might have “potential”.
Now how much money do you spend on
going out every month, with the high hopes
of meeting someone new? When you finally
add it all up, it can be quite costly to maybe
meet 10 new people every month.

With online dating, you have access to a pool
of thousands of people who are in the same
situation you are. Looking for someone new
and tired of the “bar scene”.

If you have never tried an online dating service,
then my advice to you would be to take a
break from the bar scene. Turn down the next
blind date your friends set you up on and give
online dating a shot. The bar scene is full
of scumbags and losers and that’s on a good night !!

If the bar scene is your thing, try to use is as just
a social gathering for you and your friends and don’t
go out with the specific purpose of meeting someone
new. Chances are it won’t happen or if it does, you
will wind up with the wrong person.

Good luck !!

Online Dating vs. The Bar Scene is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Ever wonder why the best looking guys out there always
seem to date the skinny “hot chicks” ?

What makes guys jump to attention and break their necks
when a skinny hot chick walks into the room?

Here are just a few reasons for you take into consideration.
This post is not intended to make anyone feel bad, but rather
shed some light on some of the (stupid?) reasons as to why
most guys are only really attracted to skinny women.

<caveat> This article doesn’t apply to all guys. There
are plenty of guys out there that find “not so skinny” girls
perfectly attractive. It’s just harder to find them.

1. Society

Take a look at any magazine cover or t.v. show
and you will see nothing but size 2 and under women.
Hollywood and the media perpetuate skinny women
as being “hot”. Back in the 1600’s, this was not the case.
Women that were “pleasantly plump” (even downright obese)
were seen as beautiful because their size suggested that they
would be good child bearers and mothers. Skinny chicks back in
those days were looked upon as poor and malnourished.
I think any guy that is having a problem getting a skinny chick
in this day and age should devote his efforts to building a time
machine back to the 1600’s. Jackpot, baby.

2. Porn

A good portion of the guys out there watch insane amounts of
porn. Almost all of these porn models have perfect asses,
skinny legs and arms and big breasts. To a guy, porn is like
a sacrament. It is how most guys learn about sex and what
a girl looks like with her clothes off. I would go as far as
saying that porn for most guys is like having a second girlfriend.
She doesn’t care how hung or buff you are, she is always there
whenever you need her and in those times when a real woman is
hard to find…..She will be only a few mouse-clicks away.
With all that being said, is it any wonder why guys tend to
think that chicks in real life with “banging bodies” are hot?

3. Sex

Guys don’t like to see arm fat and belly fat and insane amounts
of leg fat on a girl they are having sex with. Most guys would
say that this is a complete turn-off. When a guy sees a girl
in real life, he sometimes pictures what she would look like
having sex with him. If all he can see is a big belly, he might
get a bit (read: totally) turned off.

A skinny girl can also do things in bed that a “bigger” girl
would have a hard time with. The word “spinner” comes
to mind….

4. Bragging rights

Most guys like to show off their skinny trophy girlfriends to
their friends and the public in general. It gives them a sense
of pride and ownership of such a “valuable asset” and some
might even go as far as to revel in the fact that they are
making other men jealous. Guys are also keenly aware
that if they are dating a “fat chick”, their friends would
have a ton of material (no pun intended) to make fun
of them with.

5. Low self esteem
This one goes hand in hand with the #4 reason. Guys that
tend to like to show off their girlfriends usually have low self
esteem. By having other guys (including their friends) look
at their girlfriend and in some cases act jealous, it reaffirms
their self worth on a daily basis.

6. The protector

Some guys want to feel like they are the sole
protector of their girlfriend. As such, a skinny girl
would fit snugly inside his arms and he could hold her
and feel that she is his little angel. He could curl
up with her on the sofa when watching a movie and
she would fit right into the couch.

7. A sense of accomplishment

Generally speaking, skinny “hot” chicks have a ton
of self confidence, and as such, are a bit harder to
get a date with (because a wider dating pool is open
to them than to girls that are “bigger”). Guys that can successfully
score a date (or more) with a skinny girl tend to feel
that they have actually put in work and were rewarded
greatly for their efforts. Don’t believe me? Take any
normal looking guy out to a bar and set him off on
a mission to get phone numbers. Chances are that
the majority of the phone numbers he will get are from
girls that aren’t secure with the way their bodies look.
Girls that are willing to take anything that is thrown their way.

Chances are if he is very lucky, he might get that
skinny chick at the bar to give him her number. More likely
than not, she won’t because almost all the guys in the
bar are vying for her attention. This potential denial
in and of itself makes a guy want a skinny chick just
that much more. You always want what you can’t have.

And the final reason (and most likely) why some guys
are really and truly only attracted to skinny women:

8. Guy that only date skinny girls are shallow
assholes that will one day wind up being 40, single,
and balding with a huge beer belly, going to community college
classes at night with the sole intention of trying to pick
up some 18 year old piece of ass.

Not that there is anything wrong with that….because if you
are a guy that is 40 years old, fat, balding and taking community
college courses at night for the sole intention of getting a younger
female (and you are successful), my hat is off you.

Rock on brother !!

….

My advice to you? Don’t worry about your weight, unless
it is for health concerns only. If you do choose to embark
on a diet plan or want to start exercising to lose weight,
do it for yourself. Don’t do it because “one day I will be
skinny and hot”. You are only setting yourself up for failure
that way.

Why men like skinny women (the cold hard truth) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

Related posts:

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Why get creative when breaking up?

The socially acceptable way to break up
with someone is to do it in person, be calm
and explain the reasons and then distance
yourself from your ex as much as possible.

Sometimes this doesn’t work. Maybe your
boyfriend/girlfriend is very controlling and
persuasive and you know that if you try
to break up, they will only wind up convincing
you to stay with them. Maybe you don’t
like confrontation and the inevitable negative
emotions that go along with breaking up
with someone in person. Maybe you
just want to leave town tonight, fly
to Tahiti and paint nude men/women
on the beach for the rest of your life….

Whatever your reason, I now present to you
10 creative ways to break up with someone:

1. Take out a billboard.
Figure out which route/street they take to
work every morning and buy billboard space
for a week. If you really want to rub it in,
buy the space for a month, and make sure it is in
an area where they cannot take a detour
to work. If you REALLY want to rub it in,
then find a hot guy/girl and take a picture
of the two of you together and put that
on the billboard.

2. Text Message
Nothing says: “It’s over” more quickly
and to the point than a simple text message.
No mess, no having to listen to them bitch,
moan, cry and complain and best of all
you can turn off your cell phone to avoid
having to hear them whine and moan.

3. “I’m not gay, but I can learn”.
Tell them that you recently developed
a sudden attraction to a member of the
same sex.

Guys:
Start speaking with a lisp and tell
her that you found this “really cute” bar
in the gay district of your local area. A thick
bushy mustache and black leather pants
with a hole cut out for your ass-cheeks
to breathe will only add to the ambiance.

Girls:
Butch hair cut, Dickies boots, flannel shirt
Then, learn to roll your own tampons
and buy a vibrator that requires you to
kick-start it in order to turn it on.

4. Hire a Barbershop Quartet.
Nothing says “I want to break up with you”
better than 5 guys showing up on their
front doorstep, dressed in white and red
striped uniforms with straw top hats singing:

It’s over
oveer
oveeer
oveeeer !!!

5. Send them on a treasure hunt.

Pick 5 spots in the area where you live. It could
be the mall, the park, the beach, Starbucks, wherever.
Leave a note that leads to the next spot in a hidden area.
At the final spot leave the breakup note. If they are
not too bright, they will entertain themselves for hours
on end before the find the final breakup note.

6. Let yourself go.
Stop taking showers, gain a few pounds, don’t use
deodorant, whatever it takes to make yourself
SO physically repulsive that the dirty deed will
handle itself. Just make sure you can reverse the
damage, lest you be stuck with a penis tattoo
across your forehead for the rest of your life….

Girls: dress like a total slut when you go out.
Let your boobs hang out, short mini skirts and
gobs of makeup will surely do the trick.

7. Dine and ditch.
Suggest that you and your significant other
go out to dinner. Right after the food is delivered
to your table, excuse yourself to the bathroom
to go wash your hands. Find your waiter in the back
and hand him a note that you wrote and ask him
to give it to your significant other. Then leave.

BETTER YET:

Before you leave: Tell your waiter/waitress
that it is your significant others birthday.
Ask them to hand them the breakup note
and wait for them to read it, before 7 waiters
spontaneously bursting out into
“Happy Birthday to you” !!!

If you really think about it…this is his/hers
very first “being single” birthday. Why not
celebrate ??!!

8.   Bait and switch
This works better for girls, but guys can do it too…

Girls: Find another girl that you think your boyfriend
would be attracted to. Then tell her that you want
to set her up on a blind date with “a really hot guy”.
It works best if she doesn’t know he is your boyfriend.
Then make plans to meet up with your boyfriend one
night. As soon as you see your boyfriend, introduce
him to the girl and tell him that you are breaking up
with him, and send him on his way with the new girl.
That way he won’t feel lonely or sad, he will have a
new girl to get to know and everything will be better.

9. Brother can you spare a dime?
Start acting like a total cheap-ass. Don’t buy her
things, don’t take her out at night. Why stop there?
With gas being so expensive nowadays, why do you
have to pick her up when the both of you are going
out for the night? Give her a bus pass with a small
note saying that you “wanted to do your part in saving
the environment and minimizing your carbon footprint”.
Break up with your evil girlfriend, save the environment
AND save a buck or two ????

Yes.
Please.

10. Jesus Freak !!!
Nothing will make your significant other turn tail
and run the other way faster than you taking her
to your local Jehovah’s Witness hall for a fun filled
weekend of going door-to-door passing out pamphlets
and trying to find ways of “being more moral”.

There you have it. 10 ways to break up with your
boyfriend or girlfriend. Take these 10 items with
a grain of salt, or expand upon them and really
go out with a bang !!

When you finally decide to get back into the dating
game, make sure to visit this site for comprehensive
online dating reviews so that you can pick the correct
online dating site. This way you will hopefully never have
to break up with someone like this ever again.

Good luck !!

10 creative ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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In order to take advantage of free communication
weekend eHarmony is offering, goto the
page and fill out a free eHarmony personality profile.

Make sure to take your time in filling out the eHarmony
personality profile and be completely honest and accurate
in your answers. Upon completion of the questionnaire,
eHarmony will then present to you their analysis of
your personality and then show you whom you are most
compatible with. You will then be able to communicate
with your matches for free !!

If you had an eHarmony subscription in the past and
let your membership expire, now is the time to create
a new personality profile and take some time to check
out the available singles on eHarmony.

Even if you don’t plan on signing up for eHarmony, it would
be in your best interest to take advantage of the free
personality profile ($40 value). eHarmony’s analysis is
spot-on and will show you exactly how other people
see you. You can then take this information (print it out)
and then refer to it later on.

Good luck !!!

eHarmony free communication weekend Aug. 29th – Sept. 1st is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Whatever it is, whatever the reason, low self esteem
is only going to harm you when it comes to dating.
People naturally are attracted to other people who
have high self esteem. Low self esteem is seen by others
as “low self worth”. If you are single, you are naturally
looking for someone who is of value in one way or another.
This means that people naturally put a “value” on other
people that they meet during the course of their lives.
High self esteem is very important to attracting
(and keeping) someone that you want to date. The question
now begs: “How does one go about getting high self esteem?”

Not all of us are super models. Not everyone
has a “perfect body”, not everyone has money and a nice
car. First off you have to analyze yourself and try to see
how others view you, then you need to figure out what
things in life, or what qualities you have that are great.
Whenever someone asks me “how do I go about trying
to figure out how other people view me”, I simply suggest
they ask a close friend, or loved one to give them their
thoughts. Although sometimes their thoughts and views
can be biased (”well, my mommy told me I was good”….).

I suggest you take advantage of some of the free tools
out there on the internet. One very good tool is the
.

eHarmony spends hundreds of thousands of dollars every year
in researching human compatibility/relationships. They then take
their findings and incorporate it/update into their free online
personality profile quiz. I have people take this personality
profile because it is completely free, with no credit
card required (you are not obligated to sign up for
eHarmony if you take their personality profile quiz)
and it gives you an honest view as to
how other people see you. The results of your
personality profile are several pages in length
and go into great detail about your personality.

Once you have that in hand, print it out for
future reference.

Now it is time to begin building on your self esteem.
Take a look at the personality profile then compare
it as to how you see yourself. What qualities do you
bring to the table? What unique things can you
offer that special someone? Why should someone
chose you over that hottie they gave their phone
number to last week?

The answers to these questions may take some
time to figure out. In the meantime, here are
some short-term solutions as to how you can
improve your self-confidence:

1. Don’t think negative thoughts.
Ever heard the saying “You are what you eat?”
Well in this case, you are what you think. If you
constantly think you can’t do something, chances
are you are right. If you have never really
experienced success in life, I would suggest this
be the first thing you work on. In a matter of a
few short days/weeks or months you will begin
to experience that little thing in life people call
“success”.

2. Envision yourself in your mind the way you
want to be seen by others.
So you have a fat stomach, so you aren’t that attractive,
so you think everyone laughs at you…..Big deal !!!
The only reason people think those things
about you is because that is how you see yourself.
You may think that the thoughts inside your head
are private and only heard by you…..but you are dead
wrong. What goes on inside that little head of yours
is subconsciously transferred to your outside persona.
Try thinking about yourself in a good light, instead
of a bad light. Instead of you being “fat”, you are
merely just a few pounds overweight.
You walk a few miles a week so you are trying to
lose the weight. etc. Get the idea? Think about
yourself in a good light….and it will come to fruition.

3. Stop the inner critic.
This one kind of goes hand in hand with #2.
Simply put: Don’t put yourself down inside your head !!
Thomas Edison had a saying:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

It’s as simple as that. You only fail when
you stop trying, so quit being so harsh on
yourself. Would you like it if someone in
real life kept putting you down as much as
you put youself down inside your head
on a daily basis? Hell no !! You would
probably want to punch that person in the face
a few times.

4. Be your own cheer leading squad.
The exact opposite of #3. Cheer yourself
on a daily basis, even for the most mundane
accomplishments in life. This may seem
a bit stupid, but over time this happy thinking
reinforces good self confidence.

5. Avoid negative comparisons to others.
I have seen this all too often. A guy goes
out on a date with a really “hot chick” and
he thinks that he can’t get her because he
doesn’t have a lot of money, or isn’t that
good looking compared to other guys. This
is a great way to reduce your value with a
member of the opposite sex. Once
you start comparing yourself to others in
that (and other) regards, you have set
yourself up for failure. If you feel that
you must compare, compare against yourself
against how you were 1 month ago. Once
you start thinking along those lines, you
will see success and progress will follow suit.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments in life so far
I really don’t need to explain this one.
Just do it and you will start to realize
that your low self esteem is nothing more
than:

“In your head”.

God Bless and good luck with your online dating endeavors !!

How to overcome low self-esteem and succeed in dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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The Real Housewives of Orange County
Laguna Beach
The O.C. and many more.

Orange County is best known for its wealth
and abundance of beautiful people, which is
why it has gotten so much t.v. and movie
coverage over the years. Affluent communities like
Coto De Caza, Newport Bluffs and areas of Irvine
showcase fabulous wealth, beauty and power.

So where do all of the available singles in the OC goto
when they want to meet someone new?
Here are the top 5 places to meet hot singles
in Orange County:

(note: The following list is my own personal
list of “hot spots” to meet singles in Orange
County. None of the bars/restaurants/hot spots
have paid to be listed here)

1. Pierce Street Annex
330 E 17th St
Costa Mesa, CA 92627-3293
Phone: (949) 646-8500

Without a doubt, the place to meet hot young singles
in Orange County. Pierce Street is a great bar/dance
club. People from all over the OC flock to Pierce Street
on any given night for their cheap booze, no cover charge
and tons of hot singles. They are open until 2am.
On Sundays, they fire up the outdoor BBQ and feature
live music from 4-8pm. Pool tables and a small dance floor
are always packed full. This is a great casual bar for the
20-something crowds and there are always hot girls
and hot guys on any given night.

2.
BeachFire Grill in Ladera Ranch
The BeachFire Grill is a restaurant and bar that features not only
great food and some of the coldest beer you will ever drink,
but also has a surf art gallery featuring some of the best
local surf artists out there.
Since it is located in the affluent community of Ladera Ranch
and next to nearby Coto De Caza you might be rubbing elbows with
anyone of the famous affluent people, sports stars and celebrities
that make South Orange County their home. I used to live in Ladera
and have personally seen several of the “Real Housewives of Orange
County” mixing and mingling inside. BeachFire is a great place to just
chill out and enjoy life. Check out their Myspace page:

3.Fashion Island, Newport Beach
With its elegantly designed architecture
and countless high end shops and boutiques,
Fashion Island attracts many of the wealthiest
(and beautiful) people in Orange County. Located
just miles from the Pacific Ocean, Fashion Island
is a great place to meet local singles. Take a walk
down there and you will see what I mean.

4. Shark Club, Costa Mesa
The only predators you will find at this club are
in the centerpiece 2,000-gallon shark tank.
Centrally located in Costa Mesa, Ca. the
Shark Club is a great bar and grill where locals
from all over Orange County come to mix and
mingle. There are 2 huge dance floors and
the prices are very cheap. Saturday nights
are probably the best time to visit the Shark
Club.

5. Irvine Spectrum
The Irvine Spectrum is located in the middle of Irvine, California.
It is a gargantuan outdoor shopping plaza with shops,
restaurants, movie theater, bars and anything else
you could imagine. I chose the Irvine Spectrum as
the #5 OC hot spot to meet singles because it is
always packed on any given night and there are tons of
bars like Dave and Busters and the Yard House. If you
are looking for hot singles in Orange County, the Irvine
Spectrum is a great place to see and be seen.

There you have it. If you are an OC singles
or just curious about what all the hype is about, there are
5 places to check out to meet new people. If you are looking
for online dating for Orange County, check out .
Traffic levels indicate that singles in Orange County search
flock to eHarmony over any other online dating site. This is
primarily because most of the singles in Orange County
look for quality over quantity and eHarmony attracts quality
singles.

If you are a busy professional single in Orange County and
are looking for something a little more “high end” than your
run of the mill online dating site, then be sure to check out
a site called “It’s just lunch”. It’s Just Lunch has been featured
in many prominent magazines and newspapers and is the new
thing for busy professional singles.

It’s Just Lunch: There’s nothing to lose but your single life.

OC Singles (Orange County Singles) is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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eHarmony was originally founded by a Christian minister,
Dr. Neil Clark Warren. By now, you have probably seen
their t.v. commercials running 24/7, but what you probably
don’t know is that eHarmony is widely regarded as the
biggest and best Christian online dating site out there. eHarmony
has been recommended by many pastors and ministers
and is a safe and fun way to meet like minded Christians.

The prices for eHarmony are somewhat higher than other
online dating services, but your chances of meeting that
special someone who shares your faith is much higher, due
to the advertising campaign and thousands of new members
that join eHarmony daily.

ChristianCafe is another great online dating site. It specifically
caters to all denominations of Christians, including:

Adventist singles
Apostolic singles
Methodist singles
Baptist singles
Orthodox singles
Catholic singles
Pentecostal singles
Episcopalian singles
Presbyterian singles
Lutheran singles
United Pentecostal singles

While ChristianCafe may not be as big as eHarmony
nor as widely know, its strong point is that is it an
online dating site specifically for Christians. Many local
ministers and priests have recommended ChristianCafe
to members of their flock. Check out the main page and
you will see many testimonials from members who have
found the love of their life.

The prices for ChristianCafe are very reasonable and
a lot lower than other high end online dating sites.

ChristianCafe is so confident that you will like
their services, they are offering a free trial.
Click here for a 10 day free trial
to

Here is a few of the many areas that you can find
Christian Singles looking for love:

Los Angeles Christian singles
Omaha Christian singles
Milwaukee Christian singles
New York Christian singles

Christian Online Dating is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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