In order to take advantage of free communication
weekend eHarmony is offering, goto the
page and fill out a free eHarmony personality profile.

Make sure to take your time in filling out the eHarmony
personality profile and be completely honest and accurate
in your answers. Upon completion of the questionnaire,
eHarmony will then present to you their analysis of
your personality and then show you whom you are most
compatible with. You will then be able to communicate
with your matches for free !!

If you had an eHarmony subscription in the past and
let your membership expire, now is the time to create
a new personality profile and take some time to check
out the available singles on eHarmony.

Even if you don’t plan on signing up for eHarmony, it would
be in your best interest to take advantage of the free
personality profile ($40 value). eHarmony’s analysis is
spot-on and will show you exactly how other people
see you. You can then take this information (print it out)
and then refer to it later on.

Good luck !!!

eHarmony free communication weekend Aug. 29th – Sept. 1st is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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3. eHarmony Free Communication Weekend

After I sat down and analyzed the responses
I noticed that there were about 10 different
types of guys that seemed to be common-place
in any given online dating service.

Next week I will print the “top 10″ types of
women you might find in an online
dating service as reported by over 100
different guys (from all walks of life) in a
poll I sent out this week.

The purpose of this list is to give you guys an eye opener
as to the types of people you might find in an online
dating service. Of course, there are guys and girls out
there that are members of an online dating service that
do not fall into any of these categories.
—————————————–
1. Don Amore

This is the guy that falls head over heels for a girl
in a relatively short period of time. If you are still
in the “email exchange” process, he might send you
an email every morning, with a small anecdote of what
he did the night prior and wishing that you “have a super-dooper
day at work”. Every night at 8pm, he anxiously awaits
on GoogleTalk to see if you have logged into cyberspace
so he can begin the epic 3 hour chat with you.

After you two have met, the flowers and candies seem
to be never-ending. Romantic dinners, sweet nothings
being whispered in your ear, offering to fix the broken
window on your Honda Civic, this guy is a jack-of-all-trades
and ready to get to work ! He seems to be planning your futures
together, (even though you just met two weeks ago).

Ladies, if you believe in love at first sight, or think
with your heart, then this guy might be the right one
for you.

2. Saturday Night Evening Post guy

This is the guy who seems to be stuck in the
America of yester-year. Emails, internet and
generally everything tech may befuddle him.
He wishes for the “good ol’ days” when men were
men (and still in the closet) and women weren’t
as empowered as they are today.

Life to him is very simple. Man wakes up in morning,
goes outside and kills Brontosaurus with club.
Man comes home, sits down in his
recliner and smokes his pipe while awaiting wife
to serve supper. Right before bed, missionary sex
(sorry, no orgasm for wife) and another day as a
productive citizen of the United State of America
has been fulfilled.

2.5 kids, a white picket fence in the middle of the
suburbs and you are livin’ the dream baby !!
—————————————–
3. SexBob-HorneyPants

This is the guy who chronically masturbates when
talking to women online. Then after you meet
his only mission is to get down your pants.
Funny how every single email that he writes to
you, has some sort of sexual innuendo or connotation
to it. Most of the time you can tell who these types
of guys are from their first email. Bad grammar and poor
punctuation coupled with such questions as “ever do
a lesbian-clown-midget threesome?” could be a giveaway that he
is out for nothing else. He sometimes tries to play it off and
run it up the flagpole to see if it flies.

According to some of the responses I got back, this individual
has somewhat evolved over the years women have been
members of online dating services. Darwin, eat your heart out.
Back in the day, you could instantly tell that the guy
was out for nothing more than a wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am
in a mater of a few minutes.

Nowadays, these types of guys have taken their game to
the next level. Their first few emails and subsequent chats
might come off as completely innocuous and totally sincere.
They seem like “the perfect guy”. Then after they have you
mentally hooked, the “sex question” game starts….When talking
to a girl for 3 hours on instant messenger and at 11pm at night,
it usually doesn’t take much in the way of words to get the girl
“all warm and tingly” inside. If this is your thing ladies,
then go for it. If not, then let this serve as a red-flag.
—————————————–
4. Pity-Party Pete

His dog died, he got a speeding ticket last week,
the Angels lost the ball game.

If it isn’t one thing he is complaining about, it’s another.
Why does life have to be so hard ??????

This type of guy generally needs a woman in his life to
nurture him and take care of him. Someone hurt his feelings at
work? No worries, as you will hear all about it when he
calls you that night. Women that like to nurture their
men and play the mommy role are a great match for this
fella. Sex-wise….she might be the dominating one in the
bedroom.
—————————————–
5. Average Joe.

Average looks, average job, average sense of humor,
average everything. This is the type of guy that
you probably will be MOST compatible with. I realize
that there are a good portion of women out there
that join online dating services with unrealistic
expectations. Sorry ladies, you probably aren’t
going to find a buffed out hunk with 10 inches and
7 digits in his bank account.

If you can’t be with the one you love,
then love the one you’re with….

Doo do do doo doo doodoo do.
—————————————–
6. 5 year old photo guy.

Online dating. So simple, yet so complicated.
There are many different reasons why online
dating is so different than meeting people in
“real life”. Looks are definitely not one of them.

As in real life, women looking for love online
go for guys that they are physically attracted to. Being
that online dating is not “live”, some enterprising
fellows post outdated pictures of themselves (or worse yet,
pictures of other people). Gain a few pounds over the
past 5 years? Has Al Gore made another environmental
video about the depleting hair-zone on the top of your head?
No worries !! Just post an outdated picture and then hope
to all hell that the girl’s memory of what she thinks you look
like is outweighed by your wit and charm when you meet up in real life.
(believe it or not, there are a good number of women who really
don’t notice the guys picture is outdated)

There is no real way to tell if a guys picture in his online
dating profile is up to date. If for whatever reason
this is a concern to you, then ask him to take a current
picture of himself and email it to you. If you are still
not convinced then ask him to hold up a current copy
of the daily newspaper. If you still aren’t convinced
then hire a body double and let the body double
meet him in real life.
—————————————–
7. Herr Holy Roller

The guy that like to pass judgment on you. No matter
what you do, you will always feel inferior to him. He could
be a holy roller, going to church 2x a week, he could be Mr.
Morals and that one wine cooler you had last night is a sure
sign of an alcoholic (even though you don’t drink on a regular basis).
This guy generally likes to be in control, with absolute and
complete authority. He may have a really high education,
drive a really nice car and really care less if he remembers to
call you back after the first time you put out.

Women that are submissive and
like to be dominated (in or out of the bedroom) seem
to match well with this type of guy. (practice your delivery
of the words: “Yes Daddy” on the off-chance you
both wind up in a romantic sexual relationship……err I mean,
if he allows you the privilege of being his girlfriend).
—————————————–
8. The married guy

He has a wife (and maybe a few children he isn’t telling
you about.) and for whatever reason he has joined an
online dating service. It could be a harmless curiosity thing,
or it could be him trying to get out of the relationship
that he is currently in.

There is no real way of telling if the guy you are talking to
is married or not. Some sites like
will not let you join if you are married.
—————————————–
9. Artsy Fartsy guy

To these guys, life is one big paint-by-numbers canvas.
Their online personality profile photos may be….well…..

Weird looking.

Pot smoking, coke snorting, licking dead toads….
All ways of getting inspired and in touch
with his inner Jackson Pollack (Anyone catch the
irony?). He may not have a lot of money,
but is rich in personality and life. Shoes and socks
are definitely optional. Sex will most definitely be good
….Tantrum, anyone?

This is the type of guy that most girls find either:

1. Totally and completely repulsive.
2. Hot as hell (“and probably a great way to piss daddy
off for not giving me a new BMW on my 16th birthday”).
—————————————–
10. Mr. Perfect

In short, the man of your dreams.

A total hunk. The shirtless picture of himself that he posted
in his online dating profile makes you start to think you could
wash your clothes on his rock hard abs. Perfect smile, perfect
teeth. He has trouble deciding whether to drive the BMW to the
yacht club or take the Mercedes (image is so important !!).

He knows exactly what to say at the right time and as hard
as you try, you cannot find one single thing wrong with him.
After you exchange a few emails with him, you find yourself
getting butterflies in your stomach when you think about him
while at work. It might even get to the point where you imagine
your “B.O.B” as him pile-driving away on occasion.

THIS IS WHY YOU JOINED AN ONLINE DATING SERVICE !!

To find a true man, the man of your dreams, the man who
will take you to greater heights than you ever have been before.

Guess what?

That “hunk” whom you were talking to for the past 2 weeks
online who still refuses to call you on the phone or meet up
for a date in real life? That was the 24 year old brother
of one of the women who answered my poll. Apparently,
he was so fed up with how some women were so superficial
and only went for looks, that he created a fake profile on
an online dating site just to show them that it goes both ways.

Just goes to show you. You never know who you are talking
to while online.

Food for thought….

- K

10 kinds of guys you can expect to meet in an Online Dating Site is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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Here is a nifty little divorce guide to dating:

I usually write articles about dating advice and relationships with singles in mind. Today, I want to specialize for a minute and talk about dating for divorced people. If you are not divorced, but know someone who is, email them this article in the hopes that it will help them out.

One of my best friends is recently divorced. She put up with 7 years of an abusive relationship and I literally watched her disintegrate before my very eyes. All of her girlfriends told her to leave the loser time and time again, but it wasn’t until she caught him cheating on her (on Thanksgiving, of all times) that she finally saw the light. Over the past few months she has tried various online dating services and is now currently a member of eharmony.com

When I asked her the reason (as a divorced person) why she chose eHarmony, she replied that she joined because it seemed that the people on there were generally more serious about a relationship, rather than just a one night stand. She also told me that her attorney had briefly mentioned that several of his prior (and current) clients had joined eHarmony a few months after their divorces.

I did a little research after we spoke and was told (source requested to be un-named) that there are a surprisingly large number of divorced people on eHarmony. This isn’t to say that 1 out of every 2 people you meet on eHarmony are divorced, but rather divorced people seem to flock to eHarmony after the fact because their pastors or counselors had suggested it. Another reason that was given was due to the fact that while you are married, you are completely out of the dating game. Over the years your “game” goes from pimp-daddy (or single-foxy-chick) to not being able to get a date if you were rubbed down with horny dater musk, put in middle of a field full of horny daters in the middle of horny daters mating season. eHarmony was a safe and relatively easy way to dip your proverbial big toe back into the dating waters. There is nothing more pitiful than going to a bar and watching your recently divorced best friend friend trying to desperately hit on guys half her age. True, she may be still hot and still able to attract young guys, but she isn’t thinking clearly. Psychologically, she wanted to fill that void that her (asshole) ex-husband filled all those years. Her choice in men (especially at a bar) was not the best and she was in no mental shape to be going out to bars trying to meet men after her divorce.

I personally take a keen interest not only in online dating, but relationships as well. I did my dissertation on online dating and am always curious about increasing my knowledge about relationships and online dating. I asked my friend if she would put together a little “dating after the divorce” guide and she agreed to let me post it here:

Dating after the divorce

Imagine me handing you a pamphlet entitled: “So you decided to get divorced”.

In it, would be a few suggestions that are based upon my recent experience with dating after a divorce.

1. While the divorce is still being finalized, it is NOT a good time to go out there and sow your wild oats. Granted, you may have been in a loveless, sexless relationship for “x” amount of years, but think about what the judge is going to think when your ex hires a private investigator and you are seen cavorting, half drunk, and going home with a guy you just met at a bar. Also, keep in mind that you are technically still married, until the judge bangs his gavel and pronounces you free from the ball and chain. Some eager attorney (Lord knows there are no shortages of them) could try to use that fling against you in court.

2. Let the old relationship go. It can be hard to just walk away from someone you have been married to, but the quicker you cut all ties (unless a child is involved) the quicker you can be on the road to recovery. There will be many hard nights and you might find yourself crying your head off a time or two, but realize that life goes on and you left your ex because you wanted a better life, and there is someone out there who will bring you that joy and fulfillment. With all this being said (and pretty obvious) don’t go back to your ex for breakup sex. It can only lead to bad things…

3. Bars. The first week after the divorce was finalized (and I got his Mercedes..yay me !!) I felt lonely. There was a huge hole in my house and heart that my ex used to fill. Even though he was the demon spawn of satan himself, I still felt alone. My friends tried to take me out to a bar the week after to cheer me up. Bad idea. A few (read: 7 or 8 ) drinks into the night, and I found myself acting like an 18 year old school girl in the boys locker room. Anything that moved I was instantly trying to hit on. My friends understood my situation, but told me afterwards that I made a complete ass out of myself that night. Lesson learned.

4. Dating. Meeting guys at the bars probably wasn’t the greatest idea, and I wasn’t surprised when what seemed to be a promising date, turned into the date from hell. I then joined up with Match.com and Yahoo Personals (I asked Karen to post the “7 day free trial to Yahoo Personals” link at the bottom of this page. I went on there for 1 week for free), and met a few guys on there, but it seemed as if noone was really interested in 37 year old recently divorced female. I saw a commercial on t.v. about eHarmony and that reminded me of what my divorce attorney had advised me to do. So far I have been on there for just under 1 month, and have gone out on one date. The communication process is lengthy and it actually gave me time to sit back and analyze my potential dates. Needless to say, the last guy I went out with has some real potential…..

So far I have been single for about 2 months, so I really can’t give you any more advice than what I have been through. Here are 10 little pieces of advice that I can give to you:

1. Get closure with your ex and leave it all behind you.
2. Allow your friends to support you, and cherish it. They are there to help.
3. Don’t jump back into the dating game, willy-nilly, and for God’s sake, don’t have sex right afterwards. It only leads to empty feelings and even more confusion (or so I read…)
4. Expand your social circle. Try joining a night class at your local community college. The idea is to put yourself back out there because the longer you sit and have a pity party for yourself, the harder it is to get back on with your life.
5. Assess your self worth. Make a list of what you are good at, and the good qualities you have to offer both yourself and someone else. Keep this list handy and refer to it daily for the first few weeks.
6. Don’t fall into a downward spiral. If you are an ex-smoker, or an ex-drinker, now is definitely not the time to take either habit back up. While it may kill the pain temporarily, it will inevitably lead to even more pain down the road, and you won’t see it until it’s too late.
7. It’s ok if you fail. After your divorce, you may realize that you need to be stronger than you ever have been before. This is true, but when you fail, it can be a damaging psychological blow to your psyche. Take each day in stride. I remember reading somewhere that even Abraham Lincoln failed in life at various things he tried, until one day he found himself President of the United States. Keep your head up.
8. Don’t slack up at your day job (if you have one). Divorces can put such a mental strain on you, that you start to slip in life….and nothing is worse than getting fired for poor performance on the job.
9. Make some “you time”. Make time to do something that benefits you. Be it shopping, a walk in the park, going to the movies, whatever.
10. Keep on keeping on. Realize that divorce is not the end of something….but rather it is the beginning of something: Your new life. Think of how many people in life wish they had chosen a different path, but for whatever reasons are stuck. Now that you are single again, you can do what you have always wanted to do.
——————————————————————————————————————-
Thank you to my friend for the above thoughts and comments on dating after divorce. I will continue to follow her trials and tribulations and report back on her progress. From time to time she will come back here and post her thoughts and advice on dating for divorced people.

Here is a freebie for you guys: (as requested by my friend)
Yahoo! Personals 7 Day FREE Trial offer

Did you know? attracts
the most divorced people of all the online dating sites out there?
I was told by someone in the industry that divorced
people flock to eHarmony because it is perceived
as a safe and easy way to get yourself back into
the dating game, without all of the pressure.
Online dating for divorced people is a great way
to “get your groove back”. There is nothing
more horrifying than getting back into the
dating game after several years of marriage.
eHarmony takes most of the pressure off
and lets you go at your own pace, a bonus
to that is that eHarmony attracts quality
singles, not the floozies you might find at
your local bar. Use this divorce guide to dating
as a road map to geting back into the game and
putting the past behind you and preparing for
a happy and successful future with the
love of your life !

Dating after the divorce is a post from: Online Dating Matches

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