5 Essential Tips for Dating Someone with Kids

When you’re single and over 40, the pickings are slim. The pessimists among us may even claim that the good ones are all taken by then, unless you’re a cougar! ;) When you’re older and looking, you can no longer walk into a bar and chat with several singles in one night, as you’ll find that most people have wedding rings on. And when you do
meet other singles, there’s a good chance that they’re either freak shows or they’ve been divorced at least once and have kids from their previous marriage. The latter isn’t so bad, really, although there’s a stigma attached to dating someone with kids.

Singles with kids tend to believe that they are less desirable because they have kids, while singles who don’t have kids are often put off by the idea of dating someone who has children because it complicates matters. True, dating is complicated enough as it is, and adding kids to the mix only makes it all the more difficult, but if you totally shun the idea of dating someone just because they have children from a previous relationship, you’re missing out. Plus, your dating pool will be far smaller if you refuse to date anyone with kids, especially if you’re over the age of 40.

Considering dating someone with kiddos?

Here are 5 essential tips for dating someone who has children from a previous relationship.

1. Meet the kids only after your relationship has matured

Don’t agree to meet the kids on the first date or anytime soon after that. The children could end up getting hurt if things don’t work out between you two. You’re better off waiting until the relationship is at a more serious stage before meeting the kids. But then again, don’t wait until you’re about to get engaged to tell them. They should
know about it before it gets THAT serious because otherwise, they’ll feel confused and powerless!

2. Accept the fact that you won’t always be the number one priority

One problem that many people have when dating someone with kids is that they feel jealous because the children receive more attention. But if you date someone with kids, you have to accept the fact that the kids will come first in most situations. So, understand that you won’t be able to spend every waking moment with your new mate.

3. Don’t accept it if your mate neglects your partnership

While you have to come to terms with the fact that there will always be “someone else,” don’t take it to mean that you two always have to be with the kids. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s important to carve out some alone time without the children. If your partner puts too much emphasis on the kids and neglects your feelings, it might be time for you to move on.

4. Behave appropriately

Don’t make the mistake of being overly affectionate in front of your partner’s kids because the “other” parent may find out about it. Children are more observant than meets the eye, and although you might not think they understand what’s going on, they’re probably taking notes.

5. Don’t spend the night until you’re ready to walk down the aisle

It might be tempting to spend the night at your new mate’s place after dinner, but don’t cross that line until you’re ready to walk down the aisle and commit to this person for life. The kids will eventually have behavioral problems if they see mommy or daddy in bed with you and then with a string of other people when things didn’t work out. Just
make that sacrifice for the kids, alright?

So, there you have it. The general consensus is that you should leave the kids out of the equation until things start looking pretty serious in your relationship. Why put them through the stress of watching mom or dad go through yet another failed relationship? Once the relationship has matured to the point where you can get the kids involved, do
so, but take things slowly for everyone’s sake. Put the kids’ feelings first, but consider everyone’s position. That means putting time aside for just you and your mate is essential if you want this relationship to succeed!