10 Signs He’s Not That Into You
Ladies:
I recently emailed Karen and asked her to allow me to give you a few tips on how to tell if a guy is or isn’t into you. I decided to write this article because I have run into a bit of a challenge in my dating life:
I would meet a girl, go out on a date or two with her, then suddenly realize that I was not interested in dating her anymore. Being that I am a guy…it was kind of hard to tell her that “Hey look, it’s just not working out for me, you’re a swell gal and will make some lucky fellow very happy”. I would try to drop little hints here and there, and for most girls that would be enough. With other girls….I don’t think I could give them a clue even if I were to rub them down with horny-clue-musk, put them in a field full of horny clues in the middle of clue mating season.
So to save me an countless other guys out there the headache and heartache of having to spell it out in plain English for you….here are 10 signs that a guy just isn’t into you.
1. Missed Connection
Think back to the last guy you dated for more than a few weeks. Did you find yourself talking to him on the phone much? Send more than a few text messages back and forth during the daytime? How quickly were your attempts at getting a hold of him reciprocated? Chances are he answered your texts or phone calls within a few minutes of you calling or texting, or at least freely gave you a reason as to why it took him a while to get back to you. When I’m not into a girl, my cell phone mysteriously does not get text messages from her and her phone calls tend to go straight to voice mail. Emails? Whoopsie, that stupid spam folder is acting up again.
2. Busy as a Beaver
“Gee Susie, I would love to hang out with you and your drunken slutty friends at the local bar tonight…..but I have been meaning to re-arrange my sock drawer now for ages. My socks have invaded the homeland of my underwear and my cowboy hat (you know, the real small one with certain “size issues”) has decided that my socks harbor weapons of mass destruction and are about to invade the drawer up on top. As you can see it’s a real Wild Wild West scenario going on here…
What am I doing tomorrow night? Uhhh…Need to go help Grandma dust her living room.”
In all seriousness, whenever I’m fed up with a girl I just met, I suddenly become super busy. I think 2-3 moves ahead so if she calls me out on anything, I always have a logical explanation as to why I’m busy. I would assume most guys out there are like that as well.
3. Me, Me, Me.
Whenever I’m just not feeling a girl, I tend to mentally check out. Like quicker than leaving a Best Western motel that smells like stale hookers and dead cockroaches. When I’m mentally checked out of the conversation/relationship, my thoughts and actions naturally turn to the most important thing in life: Me.
If she starts talking to me, I subconsciously steer the topic of conversation towards me. I quit trying to learn more about her and instead use her as a crutch for all of my issues/problems. Can’t beat free psychiatry while downing a pint or two at the local bar.
4. How YOU doin’ ?
If we are out in public and you notice me checking out other females….you can think to yourself one of two things:
1. “He’s a no good dog of a man.”
2. “Hrmm….Let’s see here….he is out on a date with me, but he is checking out other women. By George, I think I’ve got it ! He’s not into me !”
Oh how I wish #2 was the answer that was chosen more often.
5. Why can’t we be friends! Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be friends ??!!! @*#*$!!!
You know who you remind me of? My sister. I think you two would get along juuuust great. You sure are a swell friend. Knock, knock. Who’s there? (in a whispered voice: “your best friend”).
7. My own private strip club.
True story: (names and dates have been changed to protect my neck and legs, of which I have grown fondly attached to. Honestly, I think she was partially related to the mob and the last thing I want is for her to read this, get pissed and put a hit out on me).
So I was dating this chick who grew up in Antarctica. I liked her as a friend, but was having a very hard time getting her to understand that “friends” is the level where it needed to stay. So we decided to go on a nature hike one day…she wore a low cut shirt and some short shorts that day and the entire time she was brushing up against me. Even though I’m a guy, and even though most guys like me are clueless…I think it was a safe bet that she was trying to come onto me. So as we are finishing up our hike on our way back to the car she made the following random comment:
“My bra that I just bought is making my boobs pop out of my shirt”.
to which I replied (without skipping a beat):
“Did you save the receipt?”
8. You love me? I blehblahblah you too…
You see, it’s not that I’m incapable of expressing my emotions as a guy, but rather I am incapable of expressing emotions towards a girl that I’m not into. I tend to keep an active emotional distance from women that I’m not into and if you so much as dip your pinky toe over that line….it creates for a somewhat awkward situation.
9. Any Port in a Storm.
I will admit it. I have sometimes just stayed with a girl longer than I wanted to because the sex was so great (or I was in a real dry spell). A good way to tell that if a guy isn’t into you is to look at how often he wants sex and what happens after the sex. If he only calls you at 3am on a Friday night, drunk off his ass….and then leaves 20 minutes later, chances are he just isn’t into you. If he continually steers the topic of conversation towards the wants and needs of his ding-a-ling, chances are he just isn’t into you for anything else other than sex. At this point, you have 1 of 2 options. Dump the jerk faster than a bad habit, or continue to fool yourself thinking that sex will make him love you. (it never does from a guys point of view).
10. Survivor Man.
When it comes to females that I’m just not into, I try my hardest to not let them know where I live. Meeting my friends and family? Fugghedaboutit. Simply put: Let’s keep an amicable distance between us because I do not want you in my personal life.
There you have it. 10 signs that you can use to determine whether or not a guy is into you. Guys are not complicated and usually your first instinct is the right instinct. Don’t fool yourself, or waste any time/money/emotions on the guy. Move on and be the better person….
Even if you manage to change the guys mind, it will most likely be only for a while and even then you are just setting yourself up for future heartbreak. Just remember that you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. If it wasn’t meant to work, then it wasn’t meant to work.
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September 1st, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I agree with a good portion of these items.
Sometimes women just can’t take a hint.
September 12th, 2009 at 6:33 am
If guys wasn’t being a jerk in the first place we don’t need to take any hints then.
October 29th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Thank you for the 10 hints. I’m one of those lug headed women, too wrapped up in the fantasy of the former relationship to see that he’s ‘just not into me’! I needed this!
January 20th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
So….bottom line is that men are idiots. You’re too much of a puss to directly communicate, and women need to read your condescending articles to figure out what you’re talking about. Just communicate clearly. Why the hell can’t you? What in the world could you be afraid of?
From this “article” you seem like the type who thinks women are second-class f*cksacks anyway, only here to fulfill you’re disgusting and constant need for sex. What’s it matter if you make a few cry? Isn’t that just a normal night out for men?
(cue the obnoxious, self-serving, self-righteous, whining MRA comments)
February 4th, 2010 at 7:37 am
So, the moral of the story is, men are abject cowards. Lol. no wonder fewer and fewer women want to get married anymore.
March 6th, 2010 at 3:22 am
What happened to tip number 6? Not into sixes?!
March 7th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I agree with HadIt and Ebby. Women like myself would prefer to be told “Look, I’m just not that into you” and be told why instead of being mislead like an chicken on a farm. Because otherwise we keep wondering if it was something we did wrong or if we weren’t your type and what the reason was, etc. That way we can find the guys that are RIGHT for us and quit bugging you “I’m not that into you because……” guys.
March 21st, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Hi Jackass! Save your “witty strategies” for your momma! “It smells like coward spirit”
This writer is another man who gives men a bad name…All assholes should be born branded on the forehead. That would be a perfect world.
April 14th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I totally appreciate the author taking time to express how things are in the real world. All too often “Men” say they care, lead you on just enough to keep you around, but are too coward to speak the truth. This is such a selfish act because we as women can move on….to the next like Swiss and Jay-z. Honesty is so important yet hard find.
May 3rd, 2010 at 7:58 am
This is so typical of men, they think that they are the one’s who lose interest. You know, it goes both ways. I once dated this guy and he was great, yes I feel he did lose interest, but so did I. What made me lose interest was that on 2 ocassions when we were having sex he went limp, seriously there is nothing wrong with the way I look, I have a better body than he does, so what the hell is his problem. Sorry guys but if you can’t get it up a girl will lose interest, so pop some male enhancement if you must, because a girl will lose ineterest if you can’t “get it up”.
May 3rd, 2010 at 8:01 am
That’s cold blooded.
May 10th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Wow. Harsh article. I feel bad for any woman who ever dated this guy. I’ve had guys who weren’t interested in me be very sweet about it and direct. This guy is obviously messed up in the head and a closet-womanizer.
June 18th, 2010 at 11:52 am
Youre a douche. Women want to be told the truth not play some immature guessing game. This author needs to get his head out of the sand.
June 22nd, 2010 at 7:24 am
With an attitude like that, its any wonder that the author was able to get a woman to talk to him let alone date him. Must be on some kind of ego trip or secreatly insecure about himself.
June 28th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
It’s all true, sad but true, thank you so much I needed a straightforward MAN’s opinion, women choose not to see the signs, but sometimes they are just so clear
July 2nd, 2010 at 6:15 am
I have to agree with this guy, however, a man should be MAN enough to be open, honest, and direct about it. Not play stupid games!
August 26th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I agree with all you women here. Thank you so much for all your comments. I’m glad that I am not the only one here who thinks that men should just say the truth right from the beginning instead of leaving us confused and wondering. I would rather hear the truth about them not being interested in me and get a little hurt, than waiting stupidly to see what happens.
On the other hand, I appreciate the author for reassuring me why women are more intelligent than men. When we are not interested we just say it and that’s that. We don’t have to go around making up stories.
Hello Guys! If are really not interested in someone, you might as well say the truth so that you can get them off your back and stop waisting their time!
December 11th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
i think im inlove with you.
December 23rd, 2010 at 10:37 pm
It,s sad but true, he’s only stating what men like him is about.I met this guy and he told me all the rite words so that I would fall in love with him and as soon as I did I found out all kinds of discusting things about him;player,user,cheater and liar what a great guy!!! Now I’m trying to get my life back and he’s happier then ever. It would be sooo nice for once men would grow up and do the rite things by a woman. Stop playing games would be a start!!! .
January 23rd, 2011 at 10:10 pm
So… HadIt…. Who broke up with you?
Look, girls aren’t always straightforward, either. In fact, I’ve heard we confuse the beejebus out of men. He didn’t (admit to) stand a girl up, he just wrote the more or less subconscious actions men take to delicately show a woman that he doesn’t have any interest. We all know that if someone came up to you and said “Dude, seriously, I’m not interested in you. Back off.. It’s embarrassing” you would be humiliated and hurt and would complain about it. I know I would. The writer of this article didn’t blow you off, hun, so you don’t need to take it out on him. All he did is write a humorous article explaining the going-on’s of mens minds. (A very dangerous place.)
February 25th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Like other women have said in the former comments, it would be so much freaking better if some guys would get some balls up and start acting like a man. I mean seriously why dont men just say you know what im not really interested in you. I would rather hear that than be used and abused. like wtf! Dude if your not interested in me, just tell me so i can move on. It will save your time and my time. Men like you are why Im single (rolls eyes) bastards. Men like you are the ones who are making it harder for some women to meet the “real” men. So get the f&%$#@ out of the way. your just wasting our time.
February 26th, 2011 at 11:17 am
I started liking this guy from work, and wondered why he didnt ask me out or anything. but after reading this article, I understand that he isn’t really into me but would probably just want to be friends. he did ask me to go for drinks with him and his work buddy, but it wasn’y enough to convince me that he wanted more. thanks
May 1st, 2011 at 3:30 pm
In other words if you took time to look into this then u had that gut feeling its not going anywhere….. And you know how they say your first instincts are always right!!! Especially the gut one…..but we are just in denial about the whole situation. Can not stand being dumped from a guy who isn’t into you and doesn’t focus only on you but other females as well and knowing that your worth much more then that.. It kind of hurts…. If he can’t love you for you then to hell with him….. One man’s trash, is another man’s treasure!!!try looking at the bright side, its his loss not yours… As long as you love yourself no guy would make u feel as if ur nothing…. You know u mean something!
May 31st, 2011 at 7:05 am
Are the top 10 signs indicators he’s not into you? Damn right they are. Should a man do the right thing and actually friggin say what they mean rather than drop 10 rude hints and let you “figure” it out? Damn right as well. There are some very nice, direct people (men and women both) who willtell you in plain English to stop trying to hope that the relationship will develop or be fixed. That way, you can start the healing process and begin to move on. Unfortunately, yeah, this guy is being very direct about the 10 hint, but he does sound like he’s one of the cowards. He’d rather someone who is not as “savvy” as he is prolong the whole issue and get hurt in the process rather than just telling them he’s not into them.
October 7th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
OMG…my favorite is when you call them out on this behavior….”hey, you only text me when you’re jerking off…then you take off for two days with your friends…can’t send so much as a hey-how’s-it-going…it seems like you’re not that into me…which is cool…let’s agree on it and move forward…” They get DEFENSIVE…mean…snarky…rude…they can’t just say “hey, thanks…I wasn’t sure how to handle it…you’re very cool and I wish you well….” ?? It’s like the entire universe wants to play games and waste time. So infantile. If a girl asks you point blank, she doesn’t need FAKE reassurance…she needs you to grow a pair and man up and say exactly what you think/feel. SO much easier to get past than the ridiculous leading-me-on games!
February 5th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
The number of negative comments goes validity to the article.
Fact is, sometimes you like flirting with ad sleepin with women who you aren’t really interested in. Sex is a stein motivator. It’s best to be upfront with someone…but the girls rarely will sleep with you.
Sometimes guys can be selfish, manipulative jerks…but usually it only works on the totally clueless. Manipulative women have different tricks with the same result.
Also sometimes girls do cause you to lose interest in them. Key to happiness is work in yourself and make sure that you are doing what you live, to the best of your ability. That will attract the rift person.
Only desperate people fool themselves into falling for these tricks.