Everyone who uses online dating struggles with what to say in that first email to the other person. I have seen emails as short as “tag, your turn” to a novel that would rival war and peace in its length. Here are some tips to help you with what to say in that awkward opening email.
1. K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid)
Don’t divulge every piece of information about you from your great aunts name to your dogs favorite shampoo. Start with a simple Hello and keep it a few paragraphs. You want to leave something for the next email, call, date etc…
2. Note something from there profile
People love to know that your actually read there profile and your not a serial online dater with a form letter. Make note of a little thing they said they liked/dislike etc…
3. Don’t be too forward/aggressive
Don’t over think too much. Try to be yourself and not someone else. I saw once someone wrote to me that they traveled the world on private jets and asked if I would want to join them. And this was before I talked on the phone to him! You have to start naming your future children in your first email.
4. State something that attracted you to the other person.
You like hearing nice compliments, so do others. If you likes the persons eye color, then tell them. If you like there smile, say it. It makes the other person feel good and stroking someones ego is a good way to get a response back
5. Don’t make it read like a form letter.
Too often I read emails that start with “hi, my name is so and so. I like to go to the disco, play with puppies and long walks on the beach (or something on those lines) Make sure you are the one writing and it sounds like you interested in that person, not just throwing darts at a board and hoping one sticks.
6. Comment on an interest you have in common.
Most dating site allow you to put your interests on them. This is what might have drawn you to that person. This is a perfect chance to let them know that you too like that same thing. If they say they like camping, state you just cmae back from hiking Yosemite. IF they like suring, you Sjust surfed the north shore. Just make sure you are telling the truth because this could come back to bite you when your in Hawaii and have to surf a 40 foot wave to keep your lie going!
7. Ask her a question.
If you see her in a photo standing next to Obama, ask her about it. This can show that your interested and lead to further emails.
8. Spel chekc and re-read
This one should be obvious. Cut and paste your email into a word document and hit spell check. This will show that other person you actually like going to the warehouse and not the whorehouse!
9. Don’t be too cocky.
Don’t be that person that says you drive the newest BMW, live in the penthouse and are out every night partying with celebrities. Most people are looking for someone who is down to earth and not that go out every day party guy/girl who has to show that they have money to have friends. Unless your looking for a gold digger from the start, don’t divulge your wealth in order to impress someone else.
10. End with a question
Lastly, make sure before you say your goodbye, end with a questions. Ask a few questions like, “what made you go to online dating” what are some thing you do for fun? What is a normal week like for you? This is give the other person an opportunity to respond and keep the email chain growing.
As you can see, its not that hard to write that first email to the other person. Make sure you keep it simple, don’t divulge everything about your self and make the person your writing to actually feel that you want to talk to them. This is keep the other person interest and keep coming back for more!