African Americans are one of the fastest growing segments in online dating according to a recent study.

Being that 6 out of 10 Black Americans are currently unmarried, they are the most unattached group in America. Sites like eHarmony and Chemistry.com are great places for Black singles to meet other quality Black singles. eHarmony, we all know by their t.v. commercials running 24/7, but what most people don’t know is that Chemistry.com is owned by parent company Match.com. Chemistry.com is hot on the heels of eHarmony for market share of the “high end” online dating sites.

There are some other, smaller sites like Blackpeoplemeet.com which cater specifically to Black singles, but at the end of the day you need to look under the hood of the car, not just at the shiny wheels and new paint job. eHarmony and Chemistry spend millions of dollars a year on their personality profiles, and while their dating pool of Black singles may not be as big as Blackpeoplemeet.com, the quality of the singles is ten-fold based on the fact that you will be matched with other singles whom you are most compatible with.

I guess I’m a bit biased against these “niche sites” because I have seen so many come and go over the years. Their website design is cheesy and their matchmaking systems are a complete joke. Sites that only cater to Hispanics, Gays and Lesbians, Asians…..there really is no substance in those sites other than the fact that one particular group of people use them. What I want to see out of these niches sites is for them to spend a few dollars and invest in research into human compatibility like eHarmony and Chemistry does. Otherwise at the end of the day they are nothing more than a one trick pony, devoid of any substance that is of any value to the end user (read: you).

I think these smaller “niche” sites are just “ok” on the surface. My thoughts on this are that if you are going to spend the money to join a “niche” site, you might as well spend a few extra bucks and try eHarmony or Chemistry. There are eharmony promotional code out there and the 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com to help you save money on your monthly online dating memberships.

If I can go out on a limb here for a minute….I would like to make a prediction that by the end of 2010, you will see many of these smaller online dating sites being eaten up (M&A) by eHarmony and Chemistrys parent company Match.com. In fact, Match.com just acquired Singlesnet.com and another offer is on the table as this post is being written.

I’m predicting a no holds brawl in 2011 between eHarmony and Match.com’s high end online dating website flagship: Chemistry.com

In short, if you are looking for an online dating site that caters to a specific group of people (and are looking for quality over quantity), save yourself the time and trouble and stick to the big sites.

A school in Elwood, Indiana started an underage matchmaking service for their 11 year old students. It purports to be a fund raiser for their drama club. Children pay a dollar and they are “matched” with another student.

Call me old fashioned…..but whatever happened to school dances and such?

I consider myself to be pretty well adjusted and extremely open minded. I have seen some pretty crazy stuff on the internets going back to the mid 1990’s, but for some reason, the fact that a middle school is matching 11 year old kids up is a bit disturbing to me.

Shouldn’t children that age be focusing on playing video games and riding their bicycles? Just the other day I was in Target and in line waiting to checkout. I was behind a mother and what appeared to be her 10? year old daughter. The little girl was holding a cell phone, texting someone. When I was 10 years old and I needed to get in contact with someone and I was out in public, I would pop a quarter out of my pocket and try and find the nearest payphone.

Yes, I do realize that children do need cell phones as an extra safety buffer and it’s really convenient for Moms in this day and age. But to me, it seems like the children of late are getting more and more adult privileges and isn’t that in some way ruining their childhood?

I really have nothing more to say on this. I’m having a very rare moment where I’m just speechless.

Go ahead and flame me if you want, but I strongly feel that children should be treated as children. Spare the rod, spoil the child type of stuff. My personal observations are that parents in this day and age are too damn lenient on their children.

Are you a close-minded bigot?

Most people in life would answer that question with an emphatic NO. But when it comes to online dating and selecting the criteria for your potential dates, do you exclude people outside of your race? If so, why? Some people might say that they aren’t comfortable dating someone outside of their race due to cultural differences, while others would say that they just aren’t physically attracted to people of another race. Still others would give no reason at all.

According to a recent study by UCI (Universiity of Irvine, California) race played a huge factor (for white people) when it came to selecting a potential mate in an online dating site. The study was performed on the Yahoo! Personals online dating website and found the following conclusions:

- White men were more likely to exclude Black women as potential dates, and include women of Hispanic and Asian descent.
- White women were more likely to exclude Asian men as potential dates.
- White men were most often preferred by women of another race.
- White women were less likely to respond to advances from an Asian man, than they would a man of Black or Hispanic ethnicity.
- White men were the overall preference for women of all races.
- Almost 1 out of 2 White women only wanted to date a White man.
- 3 out of 5 White men selected a racial preference and half of those selected an Asian women and only 7% selected a Black woman.

Some of the biases that were found in the study included:

- Asian men are asexual and not masculine enough.
- Black women are bossy
- White women are status-oriented (and “stuck up bitches”)
- Asian women are hyper feminine and sex maniacs in the bedroom

These findings were based upon a survey of 6000 White men and women (ages 18-50) throughout major cities in the United States.

I have been involved with the online dating sites for well over 10 years and have two more (non-scientific) observations that I have seen pop up more than a few times:

- When it comes to selecting a date of the same race, some White people will look to see their potential dates racial preferences. If a White woman lists that she is open to dating a Black man, some White men will look at this as a “deal breaker”.

- If a White male lists his dating preferences as “Whites only” some White women will see them as being close-minded and refuse to communicate with them.

What are your guys experiences like? Are White people being racist or bigoted by selecting to date members of their own race only? What steps could people take to overcome their pre-conceived notions about race and dating?

What are your guys experiences like? Are White people being racist or bigoted by selecting to date members of their own race only? What steps could people take to overcome their pre-conceived notions about race and dating? Or despite the fact that we are living in the year 2010, will these dating preferences continue for thousands of years to come? (I’m not just talking about White people with regards to that last question. I’m talking about all people of all races).

Here, I will start: I have a white friend. He is 34 years old. He primarily likes to date blond (White) females. He would rather not date a Black nor Hispanic female, but he finds Indian (from the country India) women to be “extremely sexy” and has dated a few in years prior. Are his views bigoted because he generally only dates White women and would rather not date a Black/Hispanic female but would date a girl from Indian heritage?

About 5 years ago at my last job, I worked with a tall, skinny, fairly attractive Hispanic girl who was born in the US. She told me that she was primarily attracted to White men and was frustrated because whenever she went out to the bars in Hermosa Beach and tried to approach a White guy, she would be shot down almost immediately.

/Discuss